Home at last
by srp2017
Summary: Tom finds Mike's daughters with some help. They have been homeless and are quite sick.
1. Chapter 1

Home at Last

Hannah Slattery was tired. No other word for it. Just tired. Her mom had died 6 months before in an attack led by the Immunes. Since than she had been alone, taking care of her younger story Emma. Hannah and Emma had been on the move since the attack, avoiding the Immunes. They had help from a kind, old priest and a group of nuns. That was how they ended up in St. Louis. Father Matthew and Sister Grace tried to make sure the two girls had a roof over their heads and hot food at least once a day. But Hannah would not ask for anything more. They were living on the street.

She had given up hope of her father ever returning. She knew if he was alive, he would find them. But so far, there had been no sign of him. So he must be dead. She had heard rumors of the now famous Nathan James and its crew. That they had brought the cure back, had fought the Immunes that had killed her mother, and she often wondered about how to get in touch with her Uncle Tom. Her dad and Tom were practically closer than brothers, and if Uncle Tom could help he would. But Hannah and Emma no longer had their military ID's so they would not be recognized as dependants.

It was so frigidly cold, and St. Louis was almost as cold as Norfolk in the winter. She didn't have a winter coat, and her shoes had holes in them. Emma had a good coat and shoes, that were about 3 sizes too big for her, but Hannah wanted her to have them. She was older so she would survive the cold…maybe.

As she rounded the corner around by the church that now housed Father Matthew and Sister Grace and the other nuns, Hannah started coughing. She doubled over, and when she looked at her hand, there was blood. Her nose was bleeding. Emma's eyes were as big as saucers. Being homeless had been hard on her, but Emma had never given up home of their dad finding them. Her sunny disposition would not allow for it.

"Do I need to go get Father Matthew? Maybe you need to go to the hospital?"

Between coughs, Hannah looked at her and said, "If I go to the hospital, they will call Children's Protective Services, and we will go into foster care. We will be split up. I'll be fine." And with that, Hannah passed out. Emma starting crying, not knowing what to do. There was only so much a nine year old could do.

Tom Chandler was on that city street with Ashley. She was doing a project for school helping the homeless. So, he was handing out sandwiches and coffee. Not his idea of fun. It was early November, but was already well below freezing.

He had retired from being CNO, and was actually enjoying just being a dad and with Sasha. When he was in the Navy, he would have not been able to help Ashley with her school project. It was easy, while the last year of his life was anything but. Mike had become CNO and was honestly doing an amazing job. Tom helped with some of the domestic issues that had cropped up since the Regional Leaders had been killed or jailed. Tom, Sasha, Sam and Ashley lived across from Mike. He couldn't understand why Mike had picked the four bedroom house, but he supposed it was because he couldn't give up hope that someday he would find Christine and their daughters. He wanted to be prepared. In any case, he was a built in babysitter, who never minded looking after Sam and Ashley when he and Sasha needed a night out or alone. Maybe it was because they were close in age to his own kids, and kept him smiling and hopeful.

Ashley and he walked around the corner by a church and seen a very thin girl laying on the ground with blood on her face, and a nine year old leaning over her crying. There was something very familiar about their features but he couldn't put a finger on it. In any case, he shoved Ashley behind him protectively, and then leaned down and tapped the younger girl on the shoulder.

"You girls need help? What's your names? Let me help, I won't hurt either of you, I promise."

"Uncle Tom? Is it really you? Hannah is so sick, but if we go to the hospital, they'll split us up. Mom is dead, and dad too, we think. I don't know what to do, but Hannah is going to die too."

Tom felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. The two girls were so thin, almost unrecognizable to what they use to be. Ashley made a gasping noise, and moved from where Tom had scooted her. Just then, an elderly priest come out of one of the side doors. He was the sort of person, that even of first impression, Tom instantly trusted him.

"Father Matthew, Hannah started coughing again, and her nose is bleeding, then she went to sleep. This is my daddy's friend, Uncle Tom. Him and Ashley were in the neighborhood and found us. I think Hannah is dying." Emma rambled on. Tom could tell, she was terrified but seemed to trust the old priest. It was not an ideal situation by any means, but Tom knew there was no ambulance service in St. Louis which meant he would have to leave to go get his truck, which was several blocks away.

"Oh, poor child, I think she has pneumonia, but she won't ask for help, and we can only do so much. You know their father? He's alive? He'll help? You'll help? God bless you."

"Yes Father, I will help. Yes, their dad is alive and will be thrilled. I will carry her into the church where it's a bit warmer, and will run and get my truck, she needs to go to the hospital. Do you mind watching my daughter too, while I go get it?'

"Not at all. Come on in. To God, be the glory. He must have had a plan for you and your daughter being here."

As Tom bent over and picked Hannah up, he was completely shocked at how little she weighed. The only thing he could think to say was, "I have no idea why God would allow something like this. But thank you for the help. I have just seen so much suffering, to believe that God has a plan in this."

Tom carried his very thin bundle in, and laid her down on a front pew. It didn't escape him that this was the first time in many years that he had stepped foot in a church. Emma and Ashley followed him in and sit down next to where he laid Hannah down. Ashley leaned down and felt Hannah's forehead, and looked at Tom with a very concerned look, "Dad, she's burning up. Worse than Sammy was when he had the Red Flu. She needs help fast."

Tom looked at the Father and a nun that had walked in with a blankets. "I will be back in just a moment."

Tom could have ran to the truck, probably should have, but he needed to collect his thoughts and call Mike. As he was walking he found himself uttering the first prayer that he had prayed in at least a year to a God that he wasn't sure even existed. He begged God for peace and healing for the girls and Mike.

He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and tapped in Mike's name to call him. And got his voicemail. Shaking his head and wondering why this couldn't be easy, he left a short voicemail that he needed him to call him as quickly as possible. He didn't have the heart to tell Mike that he had literally stumbled onto his daughters, one of which was very seriously ill, and he didn't know where Christine was. After he hung up, he said a second prayer. One that Mike would check his voicemail quickly and call him back.


	2. Chapter 2

I am sorry if the religious talk offends anyone, I am trying to keep it to a minimum. Please review. This will bounce back and forth quite a bit the first couple chapters, so be patient!

 **Home at Last**

Chapter 2

Hope was not something that Mike Slattery had a lot of. The last year and a half had been hellish. Since he had gotten back from the Pacific and the whole fiasco with Shaw, Peng, and all that fallout, he had been on a permanent posting in St. Louis. He had been appointed CNO, after Tom had retired. It was not something that he felt he was suited for, but it was honestly enough to keep his mind busy and focused. He hated it.

Today had been hard. Today would have been his oldest daughter, Hannah's 14th birthday. He had gotten through his anniversary and Emma and Lucas' birthdays. It had not been easy, but he had done it. But today, for some reason, was agonizing. Maybe he would have felt better if he was back in St. Louis surrounded by friends.

He couldn't help but imagine that if the world was right, he would be home in Norfolk. He had a birthday tradition with his kids, if he was not deployed. He would wake them up bright and early and take them out for pancakes. Just him and whichever kid. Generally he ended up playing a game of hoops with Hannah, catch with Lucas, and would kick around a soccer ball with Emma. They would go home and then it Christine's turn to spend some one on one time with the child. Then for supper, they would have the birthday kid's favorite meal and a homemade cake and ice cream. Neither Mike or Christine were huge advocates of buying a ton of gifts for the birthday kid. He always wrote a handwritten note to them, talking about how proud he was of them, how much he loved them. When he went through Hannah's bedroom in Norfolk when he moved to St. Louis, he found every single note he had written her in her top dresser drawer.

So tonight, he was thinking about what he should be doing and trying to not imagine Hannah being scared, sick, cold, hungry, or worse yet dead. He had been homicide detective before he joined the Navy, and so the cop part of his brain told him Christine and the girls were dead. But his heart just couldn't give up hope.

President Oliver had sent him to Fort Leonard Wood. They had consolidated the branches of the Armed Services, specifically during training. Fort Leonard Wood was one of the training facilities and he was inspecting the facility. It was mind numbing work. Fortunately Master Chief Jeter was with him, and if there was anyone that could understand Mike's emotional turmoil, it was Russ.

He was showering after a late supper, when he heard his cellphone ringing in his hotel room. He would call back whoever it was when he finished his shower before he laid down and tried not to dream. As he was drying off his hair, he looked at cellphone and honestly was not too surprised to see it was Tom who called. Tom would remember that it was Hannah's birthday because she and Darian had shared a birthday. He was probably just checking on Mike. But what shocked him was the voicemail that Tom had left. It sounded like he was out of breath and slightly panicked. It was unusual for Tom and the voicemail was very vague. Worried something was wrong with one of Tom's kids, Sasha, or one of their many friends, he immediately called him back.

As he listened to ringer, he thought of all that could be wrong. Then Tom answered. "Mike, I don't know where you are, but you have to get back to St. Louis immediately. I found Hannah and Emma. Hannah is very critically ill, maybe pneumonia. I am just pulling into Mercy General. Doc Rios is working tonight. She is bad. Emma is ok, thin but ok. "

Mike was completely stunned. He hadn't gotten a word out before Tom started rambling and never in a million years would have imagined this. He had hired investigators and searched himself, but how on Earth had Tom found them.

"Ok, I am on my way. I'm in Fort Leonard Wood, I will wake Master Chief up and get headed that way. Where is Christine? What are you doing with Emma if she isn't sick?"

"Emma mentioned that Christine is dead. I don't have any details right now. I'm really sorry, Mike. I do need you to call Rios and let him know I have your permission to start treating Hannah. He said it was important, or he would have to call CPS. As far as Emma is concerned, I am going to have Sasha come and get her. There is also a priest that has apparently been trying to help the girls, he is following us to the hospital. "

"Ok. That is fine. I'll call Rios and give permission for them to talk to you about whatever needs to be done. Just make whatever decisions you would make if it was your kid." And with that, the conversation was over. Mike quickly threw on his uniform, all while calling Rios and Jeter.

Russ was apparently not as asleep as what Mike thought he would be, because he already had the SUV pulled around to the front of the hotel and was arguing with the Base Commander about the inspection. They finally agreed that Russ and someone else would come back later in the week and finish the inspection. Mike honestly didn't care what they decided to do. He had no patience for the Base Commander.

The first fifteen minutes of the road trip was very quiet, and although Russ was breaking several traffic laws, it felt like time was standing still. Mike almost chuckled to himself, remembering fourteen years earlier almost to the moment, when he was first holding his baby girl. Time was standing still then too. Mike was not overly religious, but he found himself praying so hard.


	3. Chapter 3

This will be the last update for a day or so. And just a warning, it is a bit of a cliffhanger. It also does talk a little bit about religion, so if that offends you, sorry! Also, bear in mind, I am not a doctor so the medical stuff might be a bit off. Please review! And I promise, it will be brighter, and a little more Mike centered after this.

 **Chapter 3**

Tom sped into the parking lot at Mercy General because Hannah was breathing was becoming more and more labored. He kept his hand on her wrist, so he could feel her pulse, which also was alarming. Father Matthew had suggested Emma and Ashley ride with him so Tom could concentrate on driving and Hannah, and while he normally might have refused, he didn't particularly want Ashley or Emma to see what he knew might happen. They had watched enough people die. The only time he had taken his attention off Hannah was when Mike called.

Rios, another doctor, and a couple nurses were waiting by the curb with a stretcher when he pulled up, and had the door open before Tom could even get his seatbelt off. Rios looked at Tom, and said, "Park the truck; we have to get her inside. We are going to have to intubate, do we have your permission since Captain Slattery isn't here? All Tom could do was nod, and breathe yet another prayer and watch Rios pick Hannah up and handle her just as gingerly as he might handle a newborn. How was Tom going to explain Mike that Hannah had died? Mike had already lost one child, and handled it with such grace. But could he do that again? It was not something Tom wanted to even think about.

He parked the truck, and saw Father Matthew pull up in an old beater car. The girls and he both got out, and it was in that moment that Tom really looked at Emma, she was wearing a coat that hung to her knees and well below her fingertips, no hat, shoes that were way too big for her. She was thin, dirty; her hair was showing signs of her being malnourished. She was looking at the ground and when he looked at her eyes, all he could see was a little girl who had already seen and dealt with so much. It made his heart break. Emma was always a bright, happy child, always smiling and joking around. She was a joy to be around. But this little girl held none of that light anymore. Tom knew that as bad as heart hurt looking at her, Mike's heart would be shattered. He took her hand and leaned down.

"Emma, I spoke to your dad. He is on his way here. It will take a couple hours though. You need to know your sister is in not in good shape. The doctors here are good, but they may have to stick a tube down her throat to help her breathe. I can't and won't promise that she is going to live. But your dad is doing all he can to be here. I know you are scared and want to stay close to Hannah, but I am going to call a friend who is going to come get you and Ashley. I need to be able to concentrate on Hannah until your dad can get here. You will probably be staying with me at my house for a couple days. You need a hot meal, a bath and some clean clothes. Do you understand and are you feeling ok?"

Emma nodded at him, and her eyes filled with tears. "So my daddy is really alive? Where has he been? "Tom just shook his head and told her that Mike looked everywhere as he walked them into the waiting room. The girls sit down and Ashley pulled out her phone and turned a cartoon on some kind of app.

This gave Tom a chance to step away because he knew that Father Matthew would look after the girls until Sasha got there. He could see the elderly priest was struggling to keep up with all that was going on, and he could see there was some guilt in the old man's eyes.

Father Matthew looked at him, and said something that only broke Tom's heart more. "Since that poor child is so sick and is having such trouble breathing, maybe I should give her The Last Rites? I know you are questioning God and wondering why, but if that child does die, it might give her father some comfort. I will stay here with the girls until your friend gets here, but I think it is something you need to consider. It might be a gift to your friend, more so then to Hannah."

With that, Father Matthew sits down next to Ashley and Emma, but he seemed to be praying and not paying attention to the girls, Tom took that opportunity to call Sasha, and though sleepy, she said she would be right there. Tom walked to the nurse's station and asked for Hannah's status. The nurse gave him the exam room number that she was in. As he was walking down the hallway, he could hear Rios talking rapidly, and all kinds of monitors going off.

"I am having trouble finding her airway, I can't see anything. What is her temperature? Oh, good, I got it." Rios was talking rapidly, and one of the nurses's told him Hannah's temperature was 104 degrees. He then ordered them to prepare an ice bath and walked towards Tom. They had her stabilized for the moment.

"How long until Captain Slattery gets here? She is not breathing on her own, and we have got to get that temperature down or there will be brain damage. I am more concerned about maintaining an airway though. This is by far the worst case of pneumonia several of us has ever seen. I am not hopeful but I want to keep her alive long enough to at least give her dad a chance to say goodbye. I know he didn't get that with his son and my guess is his wife is gone too?"

Tom nodded and confirmed that Christine had died as well. "I don't know, maybe another hour before Mike gets here? The priest that had been trying to help the girls just told me I should let him give her The Last Rites? Is that something I should consider? I know Mike might appreciate it if she does die, but I don't see the point." He knew Rios was a practicing Catholic and would have a better understanding of what might need to happen. Mike was slightly more observant of religion than what Tom was but was by no means dedicated.

"If it was my daughter in this position, then yes, I would have her given The Last Rites. I can have a nurse sit with the two girls so that priest can do them. I think they should be done."

Tom nodded in agreement. He had his doubts about God and this was further cementing those questions and doubts, but if it was something that might give Mike or Hannah some peace, then his doubts didn't matter. But he didn't get a chance to say anything because a monitor started beeping and one of the nurses yelled for Rios. Tom knew enough about emergency medical situations to know that the monitor was telling them that Hannah's heart had stopped. He listened to all the medical chatter about charging paddles, and how many joules and what meds were being given. He watched them stick the paddles on Hannah's chest and yell "clear!" and her small body practically jumping offs the stretcher.

And for the fourth time that night, Tom prayed. He prayed with everything he had, begging, pleading. He didn't want to have to tell Mike that he didn't make it in time before his daughter died. He would not ask Rios or any doctor to do that. He had known Hannah since she was a newborn, and was her godfather. He didn't know how long he stood there, praying, remembering, and maybe even crying until he heard Rios say something that practically put him to his knees.

"Time of Death…2357, November 9th." It was Hannah's birthday and she had just died. How could God allow something like that?

"Wait a minute, doctor, I hear something. I think it's a heartbeat. Could she be kick starting?"

"Oh my God. It is definitely a heartbeat and a strong one. I don't know how though. Hey, Hannah, open your eyes for me? Come on sweetie…"

Tom walked into the room, and looked down at Hannah, she still had a tube in her throat, but her eyes were fluttering open and when he squeezed her hand, she squeezed back. He knew it was difficult to be awake with a tube going down your throat and harder still to talk around it, but in a small, scratchy voice, Hannah said, "Uncle Tom, is my dad dead?" There were tears in her eyes.

"Oh no, sweetheart, he is on his way here, he has missed you so much. But you gotta keep that heart beating, you have to fight. I know you feel pretty crappy but fight." Hannah nodded at him and tried to smile around the tubes. He could hear Rios talking about getting the fever down, but not shocking her system and ordering all kinds of antibiotics. It felt like time had stood still though; he just stood there holding her hand. It might seem awkward to some people because Hannah was his friend's daughter, but if roles were reversed and it was Ashley in that bed, he would want Mike to do the same thing if he couldn't. And with that his cellphone rang, and when he looked at the display, it was Mike's number.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for the kind reviews. I have severe insomnia so that benefits the readers! Enjoy and please review! My timing may be a bit off on the distance and time between Fort Leonard Wood and St. Louis.

 **Chapter 4**

Mike knew Russ was just as curious as he was as to how Hannah and Emma were so when he called Tom, he put the phone on speaker so Russ could hear the conversation. They had about an hour and a half before they reached St. Louis and probably 15-20 minutes until they got to the hospital. Mike was almost sick with worry, Tom never panicked so to hear him talk like he was, was disconcerting at best. Mike was hurting not only because of the girls but also because of Christine having died. He didn't know the circumstances and so right now all he could focus on was the two girls. He could help them and he couldn't help Christine as much as he wanted to. He would just have to grieve later, which was the same thing he had been telling himself since Lucas had died.

Tom finally answered, "Tom, finally, please give me some sort of update on the girls?"

"I'm going to give the phone to Rios to tell you about Hannah, but I can tell you Emma is ok. She needs to eat, she is so thin. Sasha is going to take her home and get her cleaned up and fed. We are already planning on just having her for a couple days so you can concentrate on Hannah. Here's Rios."

"Captain Slattery, Hannah had to be intubated due to very labored breathing, she did stop breathing and was completely reliant of the ventilator. Her heart did stop, and life saving measures were started. We did give up and I called time of death, but apparently Hannah or God himself had other ideas, because she kick started and is now in a normal sinus rhythm. We still have her intubated but I am going to remove the tube. She is breathing around it, and is conscious so if I keep it in, I will need to sedate her, and that could cause her drive to breathe to decrease. We will just have to take a chance. She does have severe pneumonia, and is severely malnourished. Her temperature is at 104, so we need to get that down as well. We will be giving her an ice bath. I have to be careful not to shock her system though. Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"Nothing that can't wait until I get there. Thanks so much."

The phone was handed back to Tom, and he assured Mike that he would stay with Hannah and Emma would also be taken care of. He knew Mike was having trouble controlling his emotions and so he kept it short and sweet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sasha out in the hallway. He knew they were about to remove the tube from Hannah's throat and give her the ice bath. He wanted to give her some privacy. He squeezed her hand again and told her he would be back. Hannah nodded at him. As he was walking out, he looked down at her feet, which were bloody. He asked the nurse what was wrong with them. His heart broke yet again when she told him that they were blistered from too small shoes. Hannah just couldn't catch a break.

Sasha gave him a big hug and kiss, and looked towards Hannah. "I have to stay here with Hannah until Mike gets here and probably need to stick around for a bit once he is here to make sure he doesn't need anything. Can you take Emma home, get her cleaned up and fed? She is probably going to be staying for a couple days with us. I think Ashley will probably be willing to help you. Mike's spare key is in the kitchen at our house, I am sure he won't mind if you go get whatever groceries you need and bedding. I don't know what to do about clothes. Ashley is a lot bigger."

Sasha nodded, "I saw her in the waiting room with Ashley. Father Matthew got her a sandwich and some juice. I don't think I've ever seen anything so heartbreaking. Poor Mike, he is going to feel so bad about all this. I will figure everything out and get his house set up for the girls. He has the rooms but no furniture, and bedding." And with that, they walked back towards the waiting room.

Emma was sitting between Ashley and Father Matthew, munching on a sandwich. Tom knelt down next to her and smiled at her. "Emma, this is my girlfriend Sasha, she and Ashley are going to take you back to my house. You'll have a bath and something more to eat, and will get to sleep in a bed. When you wake and once Hannah is ready, I will bring you back here to visit and you'll get to see your dad then. Hannah is doing a bit better now."

"Ok, you promise? I'll be good." Emma told him so earnestly and he nodded at her and gave her a big hug. And then she left with Sasha and Ashley.

"Father, her dad will be here in a little while. I know that he will want to talk with you at some point but if you don't want to stay that is fine. Here is my house number and cell number. Hannah took a bit of a bad turn, but is doing better now. I know their father will appreciate all that you've done for the girls."

"God bless, that poor child. I will come back later in the day to check on her if that is ok. I know the sisters are terribly worried too. We will be keeping them in our prayers and if there is anything we can do, please let me know." Father Matthew gave him the phone number for the church and was gone.

Tom grabbed a cup of coffee and checked in on Hannah. She was sleeping peacefully. Her temperature had dropped to 102, and the nurses had bandaged her feet. Her breathing was still a little labored but getting better. There was an IV in her hand giving her a constant stream of antibiotics and nutrients. If he thought Emma looked bad, Hannah looked ten times worse. Her eyes were sunk in, hair limp, she was skin and bones. One of the nurses told him she had told her she hadn't ate anything since Sunday morning…and it was now early Wednesday morning. He knew Mike would feel so guilty for not finding them in time to prevent all this.

He heard Master Chief's voice asking for the room number and so he walked out into the hallway. He made eye contact with Mike, who was standing next to Russ. Mike started walking towards him, more like running.

"She's ok, she's sleeping. Temperature is gradually getting better. But Mike, she and Emma have been homeless, so she is emaciated; her feet are a mess from too small shoes. The doctors are monitoring her closely to make sure her heart doesn't stop again, but they say her heart is strong. This not your fault, but you do need to prepare yourself, she looks horrible.

Mike nodded and moved past him. He didn't miss the tears in Mike's eyes, and when he looked over at Russ there were tears streaming down his face and Rios also looked miserable. They all knew that while Mike needed support, he also needed privacy and that is what he would be given. He did look in to one of the windows and saw Mike leaning over the bed hugging Hannah and her tiny arms around his neck. She had apparently woke up. He could also see the tears streaming down both their faces. It was all too emotional for him.

He looked towards Russ and a thought occurred to him. Sasha was going to need help to get Mike's house set up for the girls. Mike was well loved with the crew of the Nathan James and he knew that between them all, the house could be made into a home. It was just kind of lived in now. And Russ was just the sort of person that could organize what he had planned. The girls needed a home and Mike didn't need to stress.

"Master Chief, a word? I need your help with something." Russ looked thrilled to be asked for help and the two men walked to the cafeteria.

 **Long chapter! Hope you all enjoyed? Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the kind reviews. Keep them coming!

 **Chapter 5**

It surprised Mike that at 14 years old, Hannah could still be rocked to sleep. He hadn't intended to, somehow when he was hugging her, he had gone into a rocking motion and it was enough to lull her back to sleep, or maybe it was just plain exhaustion. Even though Tom had warned him, he was not at all prepared for what he saw when he walked into that hospital room. As a cop, he had seen dozens; if not more, homeless people and sometimes even children living on the streets. They generally always had a thin frame to them. But Hannah probably only weighed 80 pounds, and while he was holding her, he noticed in the opening on the back of the hospital gown, every vertebra was sticking out, along with every other bone.

She had woke the second the door opened, and had only said, "Daddy, I am so sorry, I should have taken better care of Emma, please don't be mad at me." He knew Emma was in rough shape too from Tom's description but he could not imagine why Hannah felt she should be sorry. All he could do was hug her, and when she started crying, he couldn't hold his own tears back. When Christine had told him that Lucas had died, he had not cried. At the time, he told himself that it was because he needed to concentrate on the crew because Dr. Scott was desperately trying to find the cure. He cast his stern persona aside and made sure the crew had the time they needed to grieve, pushing his own grief away. As time went on, he felt guilty over not grieving for Lucas. Felt it made him a bad father because he just couldn't cry, couldn't get mad, couldn't do any of that. Added to the worry about Christine and the girls, and so he just concentrated on the mission and on his crew.

Seeing Hannah and hearing about Emma along with not grieving for Lucas and now Christine, made him feel like trash. He had no words of comfort for Hannah, but she seemed quite content to just be held. He knew at some point, he would have to ask about what happened to Christine, how they ended up on the street, how exactly had they survived, and why they wouldn't or couldn't ask for help. Right now, none of that mattered. All that mattered was listening to every breath that Hannah took, praying it wouldn't be her last. Whatever Tom had seen, had him completely shell shocked. The look he had given Mike as he walked down the hall was exactly the same look he had when Mike climbed onto the private jet after Tom had killed Shaw.

There was a knock on the door, and Rios stepped in. Mike just nodded at him to come in. He wasn't sure he was even capable of speaking. Rios checked Hannah's temperature, and then showed the display to Mike. 101.5 degrees, slowly but surely working its way down. He pointed towards the hallway, and although he knew that Mike would not want to leave Hannah's side, he needed to speak to him. Mike very gently laid Hannah back down on the bed. He had cradled her the entire time, sitting on the bed with her. It was awkward but it didn't matter.

When Mike stepped out into the hallway, he was absolutely shocked to see President Oliver standing there with a teddy bear alongside Tom and Rios. He maneuvered himself so that he could see through the window in the door, that way he could see if Hannah moved at all.

"President Oliver, I have to say I am a bit shocked to see you here. I am sorry about leaving midway through that inspection. The Base Commander was not happy."

"Son, all you need to worry about is that precious little girl in there, and Emma. I checked and you have taken no time off since before you deployed to the Artic, so it's high time you did. Tom is going to help for a while so we have a CNO, and once you feel ready, you can work from home if need be. She is going to require some extended care from what I am told, and Emma, is also going to require some attention. You need to focus on them, the job will be yours as long as you want it, but I would also understand if you wanted to retire to devote yourself to those girls. Just think it over, no decisions right now. As far as that base commander is concerned, I don't care how unhappy he was, I would have expected you to drop whatever you were doing to be here. Now, listen to me. Take the time. And this is for Hannah, I know she is a bit old for teddy bears, but it'll give her something to hang onto, when you are busy with your Emma. My daughter's name was Hannah too, and she loved teddy bears no matter how old she got. I still have her favorite one, and she has been gone for almost 10 years."

Mike was completely flabbergasted, he shook Oliver's hand and the President left. Tom and Rios both were standing there, looking equally as shocked. None of them knew that the President had lost a child, or what her name was. Mike felt like an idiot because he had mentioned Hannah's name a couple times to the President but he had never said a word.

"Tom, are you okay with this? I know you've enjoyed your retirement. You don't have to step in; I appreciate the gesture, but…"

"You took care of everyone but yourself from the moment we found out about the Red Flu. Let your friends take care of you for a change. Get those girls back on their feet; take some time to grieve for Christine and Lucas. You haven't done that and you need to, because it will eventually eat you alive if you don't. Your friends will be here when you need them. I am going to go home for a few hours, unless you need me to stay? I will bring Emma back this afternoon. Sasha is getting her cleaned up, fed and she will have slept. "

Tom pulled Mike into an unusual brotherly hug, and then handed Mike a sandwich and coffee that Rios had been holding for him and walked away. Rios began filling him in on the hurdles that Hannah was going to have to overcome. Her lungs were severely damaged from the pneumonia that she had apparently had for a while. Her feet were covered in blisters and the soles looked like hamburger meat. When she did get to go home, she would be on oxygen for a while, especially while she was sleeping. He would have to ease both girls into a diet, starting with bland broths. And then Rios made a remark that he suspected that there might be psychological hurdles as well. By the time he was done, Mike's head was spinning. Why on God's green Earth had he not looked harder? The girls were found literally 8 miles from his house, but he had never gone to that part of town. Had he done that, he might have found them? Why? Rios told him he needed to eat and then go for a walk before he came back to Hannah, essentially telling him to get his head screwed on straight.

After eating, Mike started just walking the halls. Rios had promised he would personally watch Hannah and if there was any change or she woke up, he would call. Mike had no idea why but he ended up in the small chapel. He was sitting in one of the pews and remembering something his mother had always said. It had aggravated him to no end then, but she would say, "Why is the easiest question to ask, the one that will linger the longest and hurt the most. You won't always get the answer you are looking for until you get to heaven, and then it won't matter anymore." She had written the phrase down for him when he first become a cop, and he still carried the little notecard in his wallet. He pulled it out and was looking at the page; he could swear he could smell the banana bread his mom made him once a week. It was oddly comforting. She had been gone for many years. His dad, too. They always had the right words and he knew if they were still alive, they would have an answer for Hannah and Emma's situation. He just didn't have their wisdom.

Mike didn't know how long he sit there just thinking, but he finally decided he had better get back to Hannah, Rios was due to get off from his shift soon and Mike couldn't ask him to babysit his sick daughter, although he suspected Rios would have happily done it. As he was walking back to the room, he was thinking about his house. Sure, it was big enough but he only had a double bed in the extra bedroom, and nothing in the other two. He had barely decorated. Just put necessary furniture where it needed to be. He had a couch, but no chairs. No dining room furniture. No kitchen stuff. Mike could cook but it had become easier to just eat a frozen pizza on a paper plate. He was very ill equipped and wasn't sure how he would get the house up to snuff before the girls came home. He was figuring about a week until Hannah would be allowed to go home and he didn't want to leave the hospital to figure it out. How was he going to pull everything off, and would Emma be okay to stay at Tom and Sasha's the whole time? He knew they would happily keep her but he didn't want her to feel slighted because he was spending all the time with Hannah. It was a mess, and despite what Tom said, it was his fault.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter does talk about a sexual assault and torture, so if that bothers you…sorry. Hannah talks about how her mom was killed and what happened to her, so if this type of thing bothers you, don't read it. Next chapter will be better! I also have a little medical stuff in there so I might be wrong. Please review.

 **Chapter 6**

Doc Rios was reading a magazine story to Hannah when Mike came back in. She had just woke up a couple minutes before, and her feet were hurting. They had administered some pain medicine and he was waiting for it to take affect before he and the nurse changed the bandages. He knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant experience for any of them. He suspected he was going to have to drain some of the blisters. As much as he didn't want to have Mike in the room when he did it, he didn't want to restrain Hannah and didn't want to ask a nurse to hold her down. The one bright side was that her temperature was now 100.5 degrees.

He pulled Mike aside and explained what needed to be done, and let him know that it was alright if he wanted to leave. Hannah was going to be in a lot of pain. Mike just told him he would stay; he needed to know how to do the bandage changes when Hannah was able to go home. Mike grabbed the magazine that Rios had been reading to her and started where Rios had quit, and sit on the bed next to her.

Mike couldn't understand why they had a tub of water sitting next to him but quickly realized that it was because some of the blisters had broken and seeped over the bandages sticking them to her skin. Hannah was trying so hard not to cry, she was definitely one tough cookie. They finally got the bandages off, and Rios had him come to the end of the bed so Mike could see what her feet looked like.

Mike had seen things in his life both as a cop and as a naval officer that would blow anyone's mind. His stomach turned looking at her feet, but what was worse was his heart shattered. This was not simply from wearing shoes that were too small. There were scars from what looked like a cigar burn, in addition to the blistering. What had happened to her? He shook his head at Rios when he pointed at the scars; he knew no one had ever burnt his baby's feet at least while he was in the picture. He also knew that Christine would never allow such a thing to happen. He had no clue. He had planned on watching them bandage her feet so he knew how to and so they could all go home when she was ready but when he glanced up, there were tears rolling down her face, and she kept saying, "I am so sorry…"

Mike sit down next to her and pulled her close to him, and whispered over and over again, "You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing. It's me that is sorry." He apparently went back into the rocking motion because she was sound asleep again within about 5 minutes. By then Rios and the nurse had finished and were making sure her vitals were okay.

Mike followed them out and knowing that the nurse that was with Rios had been with Hannah since Tom brought her in. He had to ask a question that honestly scared him to death. "When you cleaned her up, was there anymore of those burns, or any unusual scars anywhere else? And are there any signs of her having been raped? She is allowing me to touch her, and seems ok with Doc Rios and obviously was ok with Tom, but she knew them beforehand. I know any evidence would be long gone. "

The nurse, Mallory, glanced towards Rios and when he nodded at her, she started, "There were marks on her back, by her shoulder blades. You probably didn't see them because the hospital gown is tied there, they were scars. Looked like they were from a whip of some sort. They are healed, but look like fairly recent scars. There were also scars from what looked like a cigar on her arm pits and the back of her knees. As far as a rape is concerned, any evidence would long be gone as you know, but to be honest when one of the other male doctors touched her arm, she did flinch. Might not mean anything though. If you would want a pelvic exam performed we can do that, with Doc Rios' permission I can call in a female doctor, who is pretty good at them. Also if you have a female friend that she knew beforehand, it might be prudent to have her in the room. She is not going to want you in there." Rios nodded in agreement and told Mike that he needed to have the exam done but to ask Hannah first.

Mike walked back in to the room and looked at Hannah, she was sound asleep, but had the bear from President Oliver hugged to her body. He didn't just want to suddenly have a pelvic exam performed on her without explaining to her why he suspected one might be needed. Rios had also told him that he would have her checked for STD's and pregnancy at the same time. Mike didn't want to even think about those scenarios and if Hannah told him she was not raped then he wouldn't have the exam done…He just suspected it needed to be done. He also thought about which female friend that he could ask to come in and sit with her. How do you even broach that? "I think my daughter was raped, and I know she won't want me there when they do the exam, so will you sit with her and hold her hand while she goes through an unbelievable horrible experience?"

Hannah woke up just then, and gave him a weak smile. "Can I have some water?" As he put the straw to her mouth, he brushed a hand across her arm more to gauge her reaction. She flinched at first but then relaxed and smiled back at him.

"Hannah, I have to ask you some questions and they might be a little uncomfortable. I need to know what happened to your feet, and what caused the scars on your back and underarms. The nurse told me about them. Take your time, ok, pumpkin?"

Hannah started tearing up again and Mike didn't feel right about hugging her, not because he didn't want to, but because if she had been sexually assaulted, he didn't want to scare her further. He did grab her hand and squeezed it and then let go. He had investigated enough sexual assaults to know that he should have a woman in the room with him, but he hated the idea of asking any of his friends to do that. It would be hard enough to ask one of them if a pelvic exam was necessary.

"You should know, they didn't hurt Emma. I wouldn't let them. We were at a safe zone and Mom was there with us. Everything was going ok, until these guys showed up. I think you would call them Immunes? Anyway, there was an old man, Mr. Sanders, who ran the camp. He was really nice. Mom helped with the cooking and medical stuff. The day these 5 guys showed up, we were short on food. Just had oatmeal and beans. Remember when I use to eat cinnamon in my oatmeal? Mom felt bad because we didn't have any cinnamon. One of them handed me some cinnamon he had and when Mom went to thank him, he somehow got behind her, and cut her in the throat. There was so much blood. She quit breathing almost immediately. Mr. Sander's had an old deer rifle, like you taught me to shoot with, and I was closest to it. I grabbed it and even though I didn't want to, I was going to shoot the one who cut Mom's throat. Except one of them had this old whip, like Grandpa Owens had on his cattle ranch. I didn't see what he did but it hit me in the back. It really hurt. They used the same knife on Mr. Sanders and another guy that was there, and shot the only other woman. It was just me and Emma, and she was down at the creek trying to find wood for a fire when all this was going on. "

"They held me down, and used the cigars like you use to smoke, on my armpits and feet and behind my knees to burn me. Told me it was a punishment for grabbing for that rifle. I begged them to not hurt Emma; they could do whatever to me, but to leave her alone. They couldn't find her. And they left. They didn't do anything else. You were scared they raped me, weren't you?"

Mike just nodded at her and pulled her into a hug. He had a lot more questions, but he kind of thought she was done talking for now. She was surprisingly not crying but he was. And it was Hannah's turn to comfort him.

"Daddy, I am sorry…if it wasn't for the cinnamon, maybe Mom would be alive now. I tried really hard. We walked for days, it seemed. That is when we found Father Matthew and Sister Grace. They gave us a ride to St. Louis. I heard that the Nathan James was here now, and I thought maybe if I walked close to the docks, I would see you or Uncle Tom and you would help us. What I didn't plan for, was how hard it would be to find food and warm clothes. Father Matthew helped us, but I was afraid that if he took us to the Navy office, and you weren't here and alive, they would separate Emma and me, I didn't know what else to do."

"You did just fine. I am so sorry you had to go through those things and that I didn't find you sooner. I love you so much, Hannah. Emma is with Uncle Tom now and he is bringing her later in the afternoon. Do you want anything?"

The rest of the morning consisted of Hannah sleeping, and she did finally eat some chicken broth at noon. She was so weak that he had to feed her. She couldn't lift the spoon. He read to her, told her some of the things that he had been up to, Doc Rios stopped by to introduce them to her dayshift doctor and nurse. The doctor was the one Mallory had told him about, but thankfully that particular service would not be needed. Despite the pain and exhaustion, Mike was impressed with Hannah's amazing spirit. She was smiling and seemed almost relieved. She had unloaded on him. He felt heavy, but her attitude helped him a lot. Now he couldn't wait until she started feeling better, and he got to see Emma.

Long and very dark chapter and I am sorry if anyone was offended. Please review. And sorry about the sexual assault and torture references and the mentions of Hannah trying to shoot the rifle.


	7. Chapter 7

It is a lot happier from here on out…Enjoy and please review. Remember this is my first fanfic so I have no idea what I am doing!

 **Chapter 7**

Emma was thrilled with anything Tom and Sasha did for her. She ended up sleeping in between them simply because she was restless and Sasha didn't have the heart to leave her alone in an unfamiliar bed and house. She was still a bit nervous around Sasha but not at all around Tom so it was easier to just put her in their bed. She did ask several times if Hannah was okay and if she was really going to get to see her daddy.

Sasha had given her a bath and when she realized how many split ends there were in her hair, she called Kara over. She knew Kara was pretty proficient in cutting hair and when Kara said she wouldn't mind seeing if there was something she could do for Emma's hair, it was wonderful. Sasha had brought Kara up to speed with what Tom and Russ were planning for Mike's house. What few people realized about Kara, was that she was very good at decorating. The Greene's home was like a showplace. And Kara had the ability to talk to the rest of the crew that Russ couldn't, to get them involved. They managed to get Emma to tell them without letting her know what was going to go on, that her favorite colors were purple and cream and Hannah liked brown and pink together. Sasha and Kara decided that they were going to go all out, and do every room. They were also going to contact Rios and see what types of food the girls could eat and have a freezer full of soups and broths, and casseroles for later. They wanted the girls to have a home and for Mike to not worry about anything. Tom had texted Rios and told them what they were planning so they could figure out when Hannah was coming home. He told him as long as there were no setbacks, Saturday, possibly Sunday and he would be happy to setup the medical equipment that Hannah would be requiring. It shocked Tom and Sasha how many of the crew, stepped up to say they would help. Mike was truly very well loved by the crew.

Tom had already been called into work, so Emma become Sasha's responsibility and she decided that they would go to Mike's and get him a duffel bag filled with more comfortable clothes and his extra shaving kit and a book. Emma mentioned that Hannah loved to read too, and so Sasha decided to go by a bookstore and pick out a book that she thought Hannah might enjoy before they went to the hospital. Mike had texted her and Tom both several times asking about Emma and if she was causing them any problems. The child, while very quiet, was truly a joy to be around. Tom said she use to be even more happy-go-lucky. The poor kid had not only watched her brother die, but had been nearby when her mother was murdered, and although she didn't see it happen, she was obviously affected by it. She was pretty willing to talk about what happened, it disturbed Tom but he also knew she needed to talk and right now he and Sasha were the only adults she had to talk to.

When they got done at the bookstore, they stopped at a little coffee shop to get Sasha a cup of coffee and Emma a juice. She kept eyeing the cookies and brownies that they had in the display, and when Sasha bent down to ask her if she wanted one, she nodded and told her that she didn't have to have one, but she would really like to get Hannah one, and maybe her dad would like one? Sasha didn't care about easing the girls into a diet at that point. She bought a half dozen chocolate chip cookies and brownies. If Hannah couldn't eat them, she would feel bad, and she knew if Hannah couldn't, Mike wouldn't, but she decided to chance it. Emma was so excited to be able to give her sister something. Hannah had made sure she always had food and now it was her chance. Sasha's heart broke with that statement.

She couldn't tell rather Emma was more excited about seeing Hannah or her dad or giving them the cookies and brownies but she very quickly become a tiny bundle of energy that Sasha had trouble containing since her arms were full with Mike's duffel bag, the baked goods and Hannah's book. It was amusing to watch. As they rode the elevator, she texted Mike that they were almost there, and was not surprised when he met them in the hallway. Emma literally jumped into Mike's arms with a "Daddy, you're really alive! I missed you!" Sasha, as tough as she was, teared up when she noticed that Mike had tears rolling down his cheeks and he held Emma close. It was a beautiful scene.

As they walked to Hannah's room, Emma talked to Mike constantly. He hadn't let go of her either, still carrying her. She was small for her age so it was not a big deal. When they got back to her room, she noticed that Hannah was asleep with a teddy bear tucked in next to her. Mike had already gestured at Emma to lower her voice and so from that point on, Emma was fine as long as she was with her dad.

Mike told Sasha that they were hoping that Hannah would be okay to come home over the weekend, he mentioned wanting to stay with her, but if Emma was too much of a headache, he would figure out a way to split his time. As they were talking, Mike was rocking back and forth with Emma in his arms and she was sound asleep. It was at this point that he told Sasha he was concerned that if he did stay with Hannah, Emma would feel left out and jealous. Sasha told him she would stay with Hannah for a bit and he could take Emma for a little one on one time. Mike was also concerned about his house being so ill equipped. Sasha wanted it all to be a surprise as much for Mike as it was for the girls and so she just told him the girls would just be thrilled to have a roof over their heads. She didn't mean to be hurtful but he didn't need to be worried about the house.

The girls woke up at about the same time, and they gave the two of them a chance to visit, it was heartbreaking when Hannah asked Emma if she had enough food and if the house was warm enough. She was really excited about the book and baked goods. Sasha knew Mike would end up making an exception to the diet to make both girls happy. Hannah was an unbelievable young girl, who had no problem telling her dad to take Emma for a hot chocolate and a cup of coffee for him. It was kind of humorous. Sasha knew pretty much immediately that it would be Hannah that would be running the household.

While Mike and Emma were gone, Sasha was able to get out of Hannah what type of stuff she liked. She loved books, horses and basketball. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to play basketball again though. She also enjoyed playing the violin but she was not sure her dad would have her old violin for her to play. She confirmed that she would like her walls painted a dark chocolate brown with white trim and she wouldn't mind a pink bedspread and curtains as long as they were pretty. Sasha played it off that she figured that when the time come for her to get clothes and other belongings, it would be Sasha that Mike would ask for help. She wanted it to be a surprise for Hannah when she got home and had all that stuff. Sasha was not much into decorating but this was going to be a lot of fun and it made her feel good. Mike had done a lot for her and Tom, and if decorating his house and making a few meals payed him back in some way…well, she was thrilled to do it.

Sasha had Hannah look at some bedspreads on her tablet and quickly figured out that while Hannah had a tomboy streak, she also loved pretty things. She could also see Mike's personality coming through in the way Hannah talked. Straight forward and to the point, and would definitely not mince words. She resembled her mother closely, but with Mike's bright blue eyes, that would sparkle from time to time. Emma resembled Mike, but had a happy personality, which must have come from her mother, because that was not something Mike was known for. She told Sasha that Lucas had looked and acted just like her dad, and asked if Mike was okay since he died. Sasha didn't know what to tell her. Tom and she had discussed in the past, how it seemed like Mike hadn't taken the time to grieve for his son. She prayed he would do that now. He didn't need to keep bottling that emotion up. It would eventually eat him up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Today is my day off, so that explains the two chapters(7 and 8), enjoy and please review!**

 **Chapter 8**

After Sasha and Emma left, Hannah asked Mike read her the book, she admitted her eyes were hurting a bit and everything was blurry. Mike would have an eye exam done a little later. Although the book was not his choice, Hannah seemed to really enjoy "Little Women", it was a good choice for a young lady. They snacked on the cookies and brownies and thankfully, it didn't seem to bother Hannah's stomach. What Rios and the nurses didn't know…well who cared as long as Hannah was happy. Although she still didn't feel good and her feet hurt, she had an amazing outlook. As guilty as Mike felt, about what had happened to her and Emma, about Christine and Lucas dying, Hannah's attitude helped him a lot.

Father Matthew and Sister Grace came by in the late afternoon, and while Sister Grace and Hannah visited, Mike spoke with Father Matthew. He could tell they felt badly about not insisting on getting the girls' help sooner, and easy as it would be to feel anger about the situation, Mike was at peace because Hannah was at peace. He thanked them both for making sure the girls had what little food they would accept and a warm place to stay when they allowed it. He promised that when Hannah got to feeling better, they would visit.

Master Chief, Andrea Garnett and Kara Green all came by and Hannah had been showered in books and gifts. Kara helped the nurse wash Hannah's hair and clipped the split ends off the end of her dark brunette hair. Hannah was quickly becoming exhausted and as much as Mike appreciated them taking the time to come by, he had to suggest, that any further visitors come by tomorrow. It was also time for another bandage change and thankfully Hannah's fever had finally broke.

Rios came back on shift and started the bandage change. Mallory was there too and suggested that they get Hannah to go to sleep before they started the painful process. Mike read to her, rocked her back and forth, and finally she fell asleep in his arms. Because of her positioning and the way her hands grasped his shirt, he was kind of stuck and couldn't watch the way they put the bandages back on. Rios actually was impressed with them, there was no seepage and the blisters were slowly getting better. Hannah was on the upswing. They would have eyes checked before she was discharged. The way it was going, she would be released Saturday, provided there were no setbacks.

They had brought Mike a cot, but he honestly couldn't get loose from Hannah's hold to lay down on it. It didn't bother him though, he was thrilled to have her close. Just made him wish he had Emma here, and he could hold Lucas again. He knew he would have his chance with Emma but it tore at him that he wouldn't ever get to hold Lucas again, never get to tuck him in, read to him, play ball with him, watch him grow up. He focused back in on Hannah, because he didn't feel this was the right place, to start grieving for Lucas or Christine. His mom had told him when his dad had died that grief was the last act of love he could give a person. He wasn't ready for that "Last Act of Love" for Lucas or Christine. Exhaustion took over and finally he nodded off.

He woke up to Hannah talking to Mallory. She offered him a bright, happy smile and laughed at his grumbling. Mike was not a morning person, and as much as he didn't mind holding Hannah all night, he was feeling his age now. He showered and shaved while Mallory checked Hannah over. He was glad she had an adjoining bathroom and the nurses had no trouble with him using it. Hannah was trying desperately to feed herself some sort of gross oatmeal concoction, when Tom and President Oliver walked in. She couldn't lift the spoon, and finally President Oliver grabbed it from her and started feeding her. She had no idea who he was, other than he was the one who gave her the teddy bear. Tom could have easily took the spoon and fed her himself, but there was something kind of amusing about the President feeding the CNO's daughter oatmeal, or whatever the heck it was.

When Mike walked back in, he bursted out in laughter. It was a hilarious scene, maybe a bit embarrassing, but hilarious. Hannah was fortunately almost done eating by then and when they took the breakfast tray away, she asked for no more of "whatever that stuff is." He knew she would never be a picky eater again, but Tom told him he had tried a spoonful of the concoction and he didn't blame Hannah, it was worse than MRE's. They visited for a while longer, and when Doc Rios and Mallory came in to change the bandages, they offered to leave, but Hannah strangely told them it was okay if they wanted to stay. Mike sit down with Hannah but she honestly didn't need the painkillers or to be rocked to sleep. He could tell she was in some pain, but was powering through it. He was so proud of her. Tom and President Oliver had watched the bandage change and looked at her feet. Tom had gone pale and the look he had given Mike as he walked down the hall was back on his face. President Oliver had tears in his eyes and also looked angry. They left soon after, but Mike felt the need to explain the scars on her feet. He knew Tom would relay the information to President Oliver so he texted a shortened story of what had happened to Hannah. His response was a simple, "I am so sorry I didn't let you go look for them…" There was guilt all around.

The remainder of the day was filled with reading, drawing on one of the drawing pads someone had brought Hannah, sneaking the cookies and brownies, and just talking. There had been a few visitors, Bacon had come in with a chicken soup that the nurses would allow Hannah to have. She absolutely devoured it which Mike could tell made Bacon happy. There was enough for him too and it was quite good. Bacon hinted that there might be some show up at his house. Alicia Granderson had stopped by with an old ipod filled with music that a teenage girl would enjoy, and some magazines. The Greene's stopped by with Frankie, and Hannah enjoyed holding him even though she required Mike to be right there with her. She didn't quite have the strength to hold him. Kara French braided her hair, which Hannah loved because it was out of her face. Mike didn't love it as much because it accented how thin her face was, but it didn't really matter as much what he thought, Hannah was happy.

He wasn't sure how the word had gotten out about Tom finding Hannah and Emma and was surprised how many of the crew had showed up to visit. Officers and enlisted, alike. All bringing small gifts for Hannah. Her room was filled with bright flowers and balloons. Books and magazines and drawing supplies was stacked up. It certainly warmed Mike's heart. He was beginning to wonder if there was something more going on but he needed to just concentrate on Hannah so he would just deal with it later. Sasha had brought Emma by in the late afternoon, this time with Sam and Ashley. The three of them visited with Hannah while Mike took Emma for hot chocolate and a walk.

Emma seemed okay with him taking so much time with Hannah, she had bluntly told him that Hannah had always made sure that Emma had food and was warm so now it was important that he do that for Hannah now. Besides Hannah and he would be coming home in a few days and then she would have plenty of time with her dad. There was no jealousy where Emma was concerned, thankfully. And he did try and get out what was happening at his house. If the little girl knew, she wasn't saying. All he knew was Mike had a lot of thank you notes to write for everyone that had brought stuff in to he and Hannah…he just didn't know how far it went.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It was shocking how easy everything came together. Tom had told President Oliver what they had planned for Mike's house. The President was very determined from that point on to help organize. He told Sasha and Kara to find what furniture was needed and whatever else and he arranged for everything. Paint, rugs, furniture, decorative stuff, so much stuff. President Oliver's wife, Maggie, also jumped into help. And the day that they put everything together, President Oliver and Maggie would be there to help. Hannah had endeared herself to the President and by extension, Maggie. Maggie had told Tom that Mike's Hannah reminded them of their Hannah.

Business owners donated all the necessary items; Mike was the second-in-command of the Nathan James, the ship that had brought the cure home. It was also well broadcasted when he was taken prisoner by Takehaya and had helped revamp the government since Shaw and all the fallout with the Regional Leaders. People wanted to help Mike. How they kept it out of the media was beyond Tom, other than maybe President Oliver might have threatened them.

Rios had decided to hold Hannah in the hospital until Sunday, not necessarily because she needed to be, although that it was what Mike was told, but it was to give Tom and the crew a chance to get everything together. Wednesday night, Tom and Sasha had gone over to Mike's to figure out exactly what they needed. In the garage, there were 4 boxes, one marked for each of the three kids and one for Mike and Christine's stuff. They could understand why Mike might not have unpacked the kid's boxes, but was a little surprised when Mike and Christine's box was packed, and it felt strange to go through it. It also didn't feel right to go through Lucas' box. They did find Hannah's violin and some sheet music, Emma's drawing items (she was actually a gifted artist), and a recipe box. The first recipe they found was for Mike's favorite banana bread. Tom remembered that every time Mike and Tom shipped out, Elizabeth, Mike's mom would send enough banana bread for Mike and Tom to share. The card smelled like the bread. Sasha enjoyed baking and decided she would make the bread and so she copied the recipe down.

President Oliver had given everyone time off to get Mike's house together and Thursday, everyone got together to begin painting and putting furniture together. The living room was being repainted beige; it had existing wood floors that were nice enough. The sectional that Mike had was also adequate but would be redone with throw pillows and blankets. There was a built ins that would house literally hundreds of DVDs for the girls and Mike to watch, and in the under cabinets there was several board games and puzzles, all donated by members of the crew.

The dining room now had a nice, circular table and chairs. It had the same beige as the attached living room but had a navy blue accent wall. The kitchen was open to the living room and dining room. It was also pretty much sufficient for Mike and the girl's needs. There would be dishes and pot and pans and tons of food added Saturday. Mike had a home office that would be utilized while Hannah was recuperated. It was repainted the same navy blue as the accent wall in the dining room and President Oliver arranged for it to be equipped the way it would be needed.

Upstairs, the bedrooms took shape. Hannah's room was painted a chocolate brown, with white wood work. She had shelving in her room and a window seat. Tom knew that it would be beautifully decorated. Kara Greene would not allow for anything less than perfection. Her double bed, dresser, and night stands were also white. The bed was absolutely the most comfortable thing Tom had ever sat on. He sneaked a peek at the bedspread that had been donated. It was a pretty soft pink and white pattern with flowers. Maggie was making curtains for both of the girl's bedrooms and Hannah's were going to be a pink checkered pattern that would work with the bedspread.

Emma's room was painted a creamy color and also had a white bed, dresser and nightstand. Her bed was smaller than Hannah's but was just as comfortable. Hannah had double windows with the window seat, while Emma had two separate windows. Her bedroom was a little better lit and she would have an easel set up to paint on. She also would have a desk set up too. It would be awhile before Hannah would be ready for school.

Mike's room also was getting a makeover; the main accent wall was painted a dark brown, similar to Hannah's bedroom, while the other walls were painted beige, like downstairs. He also had a new bedroom set. It was a black in color, massive bed and night stands and a dresser, and a dark blue bedspread. The Greene's had an extra baby monitor. They set the base up in his bedroom, with the monitor in Hannah's room, that way he could hear her in the night if she had trouble breathing. Hannah's room was next to Mike's bedroom and bathroom and Emma's was across the hallway. Tom knew Mike would need to be close to both girls, he still felt the need to be close to Sam and Ashley at night. The boxes belonging to Lucas and Christine were put on the floor of his closet to go through when he was ready.

Saturday, they had all agreed to meet at the house to get it completely ready for Mike and his girls. The paint was dried and the furniture was moved to where it needed to be. The women went to work cooking and cleaning, putting pictures up and ordering the men around. Bacon had worked with Rios on a meal plan for the girls. One that would give them the nutrients they needed but would also is substantial enough for Mike, so he didn't have to cook a second meal for himself. There was a stand up freezer in the garage that was filled with casseroles of all sorts, broths and soups especially a chicken soup that Hannah had been raving about since Bacon had taken her some in the hospital. All Mike would have to do it was thawing it and warm them up. Bacon had written a description and preparation instructions on all containers. There were over a 100 people in an dout.

The bathrooms didn't require much attention, just cleaning. Kara and Alicia had set up a hair and makeup station in the extra bathroom upstairs. It would be a while before either girl was up to such things, but it was there for them when they wanted it. Until then, Mike would grumble a lot about it. They only cleaned Mike's bathroom and the powder room downstairs. Both of the girl's bedrooms also had clothes in them for the girls.

A box of pictures had been found with pictures in it. Pictures of Mike and Christine's parents, pictures of them dating, engagement pictures and wedding pictures. Baby photos of all 3 kids, family pictures, school pictures. Lots of happy memories of a beautiful family. Jaffe was in charge of getting them framed and displayed. She mentioned to Tom it might be a little distressing to see so many pictures of Christine and Lucas all the time. Maggie quickly told her to go ahead and frame them and get them displayed. Mike and the girls needed to see them; it was part of a healing process. Tom just hoped she was right. There were school pictures and some family pictures that lined the wall going up the stairs. The last large family picture that was taken before Mike left for the artic was displayed above the fireplace. There were baby pictures with both Mike and Christine holding the girls displayed in the girl's rooms. The wedding and engagement pictures were loosely placed around the house and in Mike's room, along with Lucas' pictures.

Everyone had left, and Tom was there with Sasha, Rios and the nurse Mallory. Rios and Mallory were sitting up the medical stuff in Hannah's room. Oxygen equipment and a nebulizer, bandages for her feet. Mallory had commented on what a beautiful bedroom it was and how she hated to have the medical equipment out. Hannah was still a very sick young girl, who was equally strong willed. Rios had been teaching Mike how to do the bandaging, and to operate the equipment.

Sasha was baking the banana bread that was more for Mike than anyone else. She had brought Tom a piece of it and it was just like what Elizabeth would make Mike. It made him smile. There were also cookies, brownies, cakes and various breads. Rios pretended he didn't see them and Hannah and Emma would not be eating them. As long as they didn't overdo, he didn't really care.

He sit down in Mike's office, and decided to write him a letter, it would be the easiest way to explain what had made them decide to do all this;

" _Mike,_

 _You have been there for every member of our crew, when they grieved for_

 _their lost families, while you barely took the time to stress about yours or_

 _grieve for Lucas. You have your girls back, and I only wish I could bring_

 _Christine and Lucas back for you. We did the house up for you all so you_

 _wouldn't stress. Just focus on those girls. I will take care of the Navy as long_

 _as you need me . I do ask that you take some time_

 _out to properly grieve for the two precious people you lost. I know from_

 _experience, that when you don't take time to grieve those that you've lost,_

 _eventually, you cave in. You were there for me, when that happened to_

 _me…and I don't want to watch it happen to you. You have these two_

 _amazing girls that have their dad's strength…they need you to take the time_

 _and grieve, because they need to do that too._

 _The crew, President Oliver and Maggie, Sasha and I did this for you as a_

 _Thank you for all that you've done for all of us. It is actually not even close_

 _to enough to pay you back. Hope you and the love it all…and just so you_

 _know, Sasha has stolen your mom's banana bread recipe._

 _Love you brother,_

 _Tom"_

It was well past 10 pm when Tom finally left, Rios and the nurse had left an hour earlier, and Sasha had followed them out. Tom taped the letter to the front door and locked all the doors. As he did one final walk through, he found himself praying again, that Mike and the girls would find the healing and peace that they needed. Andrea Garnett had set up these warmer things that were supposed to be safer then candles. She had put a "Sea Salt" smell in them and turned them on, but Tom could still smell was the banana bread. It made him smile and think about Mike's mom. Hopefully that would be a comfort to Mike.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Hannah would be released Sunday morning, and Mike was beyond thrilled to have her home and be close to Emma again. He had warned both girls that his house was not that great and they would have to buy lots of furniture, but the girls could pick how they wanted to decorate their rooms. They seemed happy to just have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies and warm clothes…which led him to the next problem. He didn't have any clothes to even take Hannah home in. It reminded him of when he and Christine brought her home to their base house from the hospital. He was a young lieutenant and money was a little tight, but his mom had insisted the baby have a cute "take home outfit." He and Christine were completely unprepared for having a baby and had one night at home with Hannah before his parents arrived. They both were so scared that they would break her. Late Saturday afternoon, President Oliver and his wife, Maggie came in to visit, and Maggie was holding a shopping bag that had a soft pair of sweats and a sweatshirt for Hannah, she also had underclothes and a soft, warm, pair of house slippers. Mike didn't know how she guessed Hannah's sizes but he was thrilled. Maggie reminded him a little of his mother, always prepared, direct and to the point, but she could make him laugh too.

Tom and Sasha were busy with something so Emma didn't get to come visit and Mike was missing her. Hannah seemed to sense Mike's mood and apologized several times and even suggested that he leave and stay at home for the night, but Mike didn't feel right about that either. He was scared to death that if he left the hospital, Hannah would have some sort of setback and he didn't want to not be there to talk her back. Her temperature had spiked a bit Friday night and it had scared him. He would just have to deal with it. He assured Hannah he was staying with her and that none of this was her fault. He took the time to learn the bandaging and about the various medical equipment that was being installed at his house. He hated the fact that his house would be so unprepared for his girls. He bought it simply because it meant he was close to Tom, Sasha and his kids, as well as the Greene's. He watched Sam and Ashley fairly frequently and even babysit Frankie from time to time…having a baby around just made anybody smile.

The plan was, Tom and Emma would pick them up at the hospital and take them to Mike's house. At that point, Mike would take over Emma's care as well. He was terrified…as terrified as he and Christine were 14 years before. He didn't want to "break" either girl. Mallory helped Hannah get dressed and put the coat on that Kara Greene had brought over. She used the excuse that since she had Frankie it didn't fit her well anymore, and as tiny as Kara was, it swallowed Hannah. She could walk okay but they would be taking a wheelchair home with them, Doc Rios didn't want her on the blisters on her feet too much. She was also very weak and it was not uncommon that Mike had to pick her up and transfer her. He didn't mind, but Hannah hated it, complaining she would hurt his back. She only weighed 72 pounds so it was not likely. It was more out of frustration that she didn't like it and that hurt Mike's heart.

They had decided to donate the flowers and balloons to the pediatric floor, but kept the teddy bear from the President, the books and drawing supplies. The nurses and doctors on the floor that Hannah was on gave her a scarf, gloves and hat that matched the coat Kara had given her. Hannah had made a lot of people fall in love with her. It was very touching. Mallory had told Mike that she would come over once daily to help Hannah bathe, it was not something Mike needed to help with, even though he would if he had too. It also meant that a trained professional would be around to watch her in case there were any medical issues arise. Rios would also be around. Mike offered to pay Mallory and she flat out refused. He would figure something out for her later.

Tom and Emma got there about 10 am and Emma was almost bouncing off the walls in excitement. When Mike picked her up, he immediately realized she had gained a couple pounds which made him smile. He knew Tom and Sasha would take amazing care of his little girl. How would he ever repay them? It took another hour to get Hannah discharged, all the proper paperwork signed, and for Tom to make a couple trips down to Sasha's SUV with all the gear that people had brought Hannah. It was Tom that ended up putting Hannah into her wheelchair because Emma needed to be contained, and when he got done, he told Mike that it felt like Hannah had gained a couple pounds as well. The nurses had weighed her the night she was brought in and she only weighed 68 pounds and was now at 72. It was a small gain.

Mike was shocked to see signs from businesses that they passed, which said "Welcome Home, Hannah!" and "Home at Last!" Tom just told him that there had been a little media attention, and it was a feel good story when there weren't too many. Mike was almost as famous as Tom and so when the media outlets got ahold of the fact that it was Tom that had found Mike's daughters…well, it spread like wildfire.

The suburb he lived in was fairly close to the hospital and so it was a fast trip, Tom also wasn't taking his time; he was scared the cold air would affect Hannah's lungs. She had nodded off and Emma was drawing on one of Hannah's drawing pads. Tom was pretty quiet and Mike was not in the mood to talk. He was terrified of having the girls home, scared something would happen to them, and he also knew that he was going to have to finally accept the fact that Christine and Lucas were gone…that scared him more. Could he really handle facing that loss? He owed it to Christine and Lucas to grieve them.

When they pulled into his driveway, there was a huge sign on the garage door that said "Welcome home, Slattery family!" and was signed by every member of the Nathan James crew. Mike was looking at it, as Tom pulled Hannah's wheelchair out and was talking to Emma. Hannah finally woke up and gave Mike a sweet smile as picked her up and put her in the wheelchair. He wanted to get her inside because she was starting the wheeze. He and Tom picked up the wheelchair with Hannah in it and carried her up the porch steps. And he laughed at Tom because all of a sudden, he was in a huge hurry to leave. Mike and Emma gave him a quick hug and a thank you and he leaned down and kissed Hannah on the forehead, much the same way Mike might and was gone.

Mike saw the note taped to the door with his name on it and pulled it off. He unlocked the door and had Emma hold the exterior screen door open while he got the wheelchair in. The house felt warm and smelled like his mom and the sea. He flipped the light on and expecting to see it like he left it Monday morning, with junky furniture and no decorations. He instantly teared up when he realized that someone had come in and completely decorated his house. New and different furniture, food on the kitchen countertops, DVD's in the built in units, a new dining room table and chairs. It was a home. There were pictures of all the 3 kids up, pictures of him and Christine, there were also framed pictures of the crew and he and Tom throughout the years.

"Daddy, maybe you should read that note? It might tell you who did all this. It's really nice, and has some of our stuff from Norfolk." Hannah had gotten herself out of the wheelchair and into a leather recliner that hadn't been there before and Emma was sitting on the sectional. He read bits and pieces of Tom's letter to the girls and they all cried. It was shocking that so many people would do this for them. Mike always felt he came across harsh towards his crew, but apparently not. He was not the fatherly sort like Tom was, or maybe he was and he was just different than Tom in the way he handled them.

He fixed the girls some of Bacon's chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. He was stunned to see all the food in the kitchen and freezer, and treated himself to a piece of the banana bread. It was almost like his mom was visiting. They decided to put a movie in and just relax, and it was not too long before both girls were sound asleep. Hannah had claimed the recliner, mostly because it had a heater in it. He had wrapped a warm blanket around her and turned her oxygen on and put the nasal cannula, and she was sound asleep very quickly. It gave him some one on one time cuddling Emma before she fell asleep.

He had a feeling that the downstairs was just the tip of the iceberg, and so he walked upstairs, and was completely taken aback. He would have only asked for the girl's bedrooms to be set up but his bedroom has also gotten redecorated as well. He was doing okay until he opened his closet door and saw Lucas and Christine's box on the floor; he hadn't unpacked them or got rid of their belongings because in order to do that, he would have to accept that they were gone. He was thankful he hadn't where the girl's belongings were concerned but he knew he needed to accept that fact that Lucas and Christine would not be miraculously found as his girls had been. They were gone and they would not be coming back. That was a hard and very difficult pill to swallow. Mike's breathing picked up and get feel tears filling his eyes and he hadn't even opened the boxes.

"Daddy, can you help me?" Hannah's voice called from downstairs and so he shoved the boxes back into the closet and yelled that he would be there in a minute. He took a second to collect himself and told himself to get it together, just as in the last year and a half, someone needed him more then he needed to grieve. He felt like a horrible husband and father, especially as a father. What kind of man couldn't even cry for his lost son, or wife? They deserved better then him.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, this chapter turned a lot more emotional and longer than I intended. I felt it needed to be addressed though…Please, please, review!

 **Chapter 11**

Mike enjoyed being able to tuck both girls in that night, sure they were a bit old for that but they seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. He had done his first bandage change on Hannah completely on his own, and unfortunately one of the blisters had broken and there was seepage, Hannah was trying to be so strong but he could tell she was holding tears back for his benefit. In the hospital, when there was a bad bandage change, he would hold her and rock her to sleep while the staff changed the bandages, but he couldn't do that tonight. And he knew he could call any number of friends to help him, but they had already done so much. It made him feel even worse as a father.

Once the bandages were changed and Hannah had fallen asleep, mostly due to the painkillers that he had to give her to help her with the discomfort, he watched her sleep with the nasal cannula on, and the concentrator humming away. She was such a strong young girl and was completely dependent on him for everything. Even though Emma was younger, she still was able to exhibit some independence. Not Hannah, he still had to feed her because she couldn't lift her spoon to her mouth. It made him angry, at the virus, at the Immunes, at Takehaya, at everything that had kept him from finding her. She had noticed his mood while he changed her bandages and apologized that he had to help her so much. It was certainly was not her fault and he told her that much. She was not convinced. He was a little shorter with her than he intended to be.

Emma went to sleep after Hannah and so he got to spend a little more time with her before she fell asleep. He had tucked her in and spent some time reading to her. He also watched her sleeping, and she was so peaceful. Tom had warned him that Emma ended up in he and Sasha's bed while she stayed with them, the first night because she was nervous and then because of nightmares. Mike was thankful to have such an amazing friend who would care for his daughter like that. He was prepared for it, if she ended up with him.

He went back downstairs and made sure all the doors were locked, he was exhausted and would be going to bed early. The cot at the hospital and Hannah's hospital bed were not comfortable for a man his size. The new bed upstairs looked so inviting. He got himself another piece of the banana bread. It was such a nice touch to everything else that Tom and Sasha had done. He had no idea how to begin to thank them, there were no words. He had thought about moving the boxes that were sitting in his closet back to the garage but he felt like that would be even more of an injustice then not grieving for his wife and son. Seeing all the pictures were also a bit disconcerting, not because he didn't want to see them, but it reminded him that he would not be able to create more happy memories with Christine and Lucas.

Mike checked on both girls again, and turned Hannah's oxygen up because there was a slight wheeze to her breathing. He prayed it wasn't something more, but Rios had warned him the nights might be a little rough for Hannah. At least there was no fever. He turned the baby monitor on, and laughed, because crying would be too easy. Fourteen years before, he and Christine had brought their baby girl home, and used baby monitors to hear if she cried out in the night. Now he was doing the same thing, only most fourteen year olds would be mortified to know that their dad used one to listen to their breathing, had to feed them, help them to the bathroom, all those things. He knew she was embarrassed by it.

Mike had grabbed a notepad downstairs because he planned on writing both girls their birthday letters that he had missed. He also didn't want to look at the boxes in his closet. He knew it was wrong to avoid the inevitable and horrible to two people he had loved so much but he had to focus on the girls at least right now. He would feel guilt for the rest of his life where Christine and Lucas were concerned; Emma and especially Hannah needed him focused in. Plus to look at those boxes and open them and look through the last pieces of what was left of his wife and son would mean he was admitting they were gone. Not something he wanted to do.

He grabbed another piece of the banana bread and a warm glass of milk and the notepad and pen. His mom would be mad because he was eating in his bedroom but he didn't care, he needed to relax. He wanted to finish the letters before the girls woke up. Making sure the baby monitor was on, he could hear Hannah breathing, the wheezing was gone, and he could also hear Emma snoring. The bread and milk was on the nightstand and he started the letters.

" _Hannah,_

 _Words cannot describe how proud you make me. I am so sorry how things have turned out for you. I know you will get better and stronger, and you are already such a beautiful young woman. You have a beautiful heart and soul and that is what I am most proud of. You have forgiven me for not being there when you needed me, and while I am not ready to forgive myself, your forgiveness and love mean so much to me._

 _You have repeatedly told me how sorry you are that I have taken so much time for you, for having to do all the things that you need me to do. It's me that is sorry…if I had been here, you wouldn't be in the shape that you're in. As much as I hate you being in that shape, being able to help you helps me._

 _I missed two of your birthdays, and although it is not the first time I've missed a birthday, this time I decided to write you your letter now. In years past, I would talk about how proud I was of you playing basketball, riding horses or playing violin. But this year, none of that matters anymore. I am proud of the care you took with Emma, the way you persevered through unbelievable odds, and the way you've bounced back, a team of Navy Seals has nothing on your bravery and courage. I promise, I will never allow you to be in the same position again. It's my job to take care of you; I've failed too many times, and have no intention of doing that now. I thank God every day for you. I also know your mom would be so, so proud of you!_

 _I love you so much,_

 _Daddy"_

Mike was surprised how emotional writing the letter made him. It didn't seem to put into words what he felt but he hoped Hannah would understand. He got up and walked to her bedroom and checked on her one more time, and sit the letter on her dresser where she would see it. Emma's letter would be so much easier to write, maybe.

" _Emma,_

 _You are such a special girl. I was so scared that you would be jealous because I was spending all my time with Hannah and leaving you with Uncle Tom and Aunt Sasha, but you have been so insistent that I care for Hannah, and I promise I will make up for that at some point…maybe you and I can go to the park later this week and kick the soccer ball around and have some hot chocolate? I do want you to tell me if at any point, you want a little one on one time, no jealousy, ok, sis?_

 _Hannah has told me that you never gave up looking for me, hoping I was alive, and it was that, that kept her going. That determination and hope is one of the many reasons that I love you so much._

 _You are turning into a young lady too, with such a bright smile that absolutely makes my day to see. It was imagining your smile that kept me going while I was looking for you guys. So I want you to never lose that smile or that amazing happy spirit. It reminds me of your mom, and I need that._

 _I love you to the moon and back, and around about a trillion times,_

 _Daddy"_

Mike put her letter on her dresser, and wrapped the blankets around Emma little tighter. While he was checking on her, a thought occurred to him…maybe he should write Lucas a letter? What would it hurt?

" _Lucas,_

 _I am so, so sorry…sorry I wasn't there for you, sorry I haven't cried for you. It wasn't because I loved you any less. When your mom told me you had died, all I wanted to do was hold you…I couldn't, but I would have given anything to do that. Still would._

 _You were such an amazing little boy, and after having two girls, I was definitely ready for a boy. I had so many plans for you, plans of baseball games and football games, going fishing and hunting, watching you grow up, graduate high school, college and then find some career. I planned on watching you fall love with some sweet, beautiful girl, marry her, and create a beautiful family with her, just as I was able to do with your mom._

 _I am not sure what I am supposed to do now, I never planned on writing this letter, never planned on you not growing up. It hurts, it makes me mad, that I was robbed of all that. I was robbed of your future, you were robbed of that future and it's not fair. I am not angry at you for dying…I am angry at myself._

 _I know you are in a better place, and you are with your mom, and your grandparents. I pray that as you died, you didn't wonder where I was, if I loved you, I pray you weren't in any pain. I know I will see you again one day, and hopefully by then I will have forgiven myself for not being there. Don't ever think I didn't love you…I love you so much…I'm just not sure what to do with that love now. Please look over your sisters, and you're Uncle Tom and I guess me too._

 _I love you,_

 _Dad"_

Mike was shocked to realize how angry he sounded in the letter, was he angry at Lucas for dying? At God for letting it happen? Millions of people had died, and some people were worse off than he, he still had his girls. It was like it had turned the faucet onto some emotion that he didn't want to feel? He expected to feel sadness, but not such anger. This felt even worse than not crying for Lucas or Christine. Just total anger, anger at himself for being angry, anger at God, and anger because of the girl's situation…he had never been so angry. His training officer when he was a cop told him that when he got angry, he got more focused…which meant he needed to focus in on the girls.


	12. Chapter 12

I've struggled writing this chapter…as emotional as last chapter was, I wanted this to be a bit happier, despite the fact that Mike is very much so in the grieving process, even though he doesn't realize it. Please, please review!

 **Chapter 12**

Mike woke up to Emma jumping on his bed and giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Hi, daddy! I love you!" He could hear Hannah laughing from the doorway, and so he gestured for her to come in. He had had a rough night filled with dreams and nightmares, alike, of Christine and Lucas, and Emma telling him that she loved him made him smile and laugh. Hannah had sat down next to him and gave him a huge smile, and for a change, her dimples were showing. As badly as he was hurting and as angry as he felt…seeing the girls smile at him and seemingly happy made his day instantly brighten.

"I love you both too. Hannah, are you feeling okay, no oxygen on?" He brushed a hand over her cheek, partly being affectionate, but also to check for a fever, and thankfully her cheek was a normal temperature.

"Yea, I feel okay but I am ready for my bath. We read your letters, I love you too…and we all know Emma loves you!"

Emma was practically jumping up and down on his stomach, he had no idea where she got her constant flow of energy, it was like someone was sneaking her sugar. Hannah was much more subdued but she was laughing at Emma's theatrics.

"Can we have chocolate chip pancakes? I know we're supposed to eat gross food, that has no taste, but there are so many yummy things downstairs to eat. You always made us chocolate chip pancakes the first morning you came home from work…and Hannah wants some too…PLEASE!"

Mike just laughed and when he looked at Hannah she was nodding her head too. He couldn't tell them no, it was a tradition after all. He would let Christine sleep in and made the kids chocolate chip pancakes, sausage links and orange juice before the virus. He wasn't sure he had the ingredients though and told the girls as much.

"Oh yea, Uncle Tom just come in. He brought the stuff; he remembered you talking about it before and thought we needed them. He's already left for work. So you can't say no!" Emma was grinning from ear to ear. Mike just laughed and looked at the clock, it was 7 am. It was just one more thing to thank Tom for. He just couldn't believe he had slept through Tom coming in.

"Ok, ok. I'll make them! Emma, why don't you go ahead and get dressed, maybe Hannah would help you? Hannah, you can stay as you are until Mallory gets here for your bath. She's due at 9:30. I'm just going to shower and shave and I'll be downstairs. And don't answer the front door unless it's someone we know."

Mike had always been a bit strict with the kids, to the point that he would have never allowed them to jump all over his bed like Emma had. They had plenty of fun, but his Navy life sometimes bled over to his parenting skills. It was always one of his and Christine's arguments. She would remind him that they were not sailors, just kids and they would end up resenting him if he tried to treat them like they were in the Navy. It now had him reevaluating the way he parented the kids. He had a second chance with the girls but it hurt his heart that Lucas had only known him as the strict, uptight dad. While he was determined to be more fun, affectionate (because he had never been overly affectionate before), less strict and regimented, the girls still did have to have some ground rules. He was fairly well known with the media and he wouldn't put it past them to approach him at his home, plus he was certain that he might still be on what was left of the Immunes' hit list and occasionally an associate of Shaw's would make noise against Tom and he. He didn't want the girl's exposed to that.

The girl's made short work of their requested breakfast. He had already decided that unless it hurt their stomachs, he didn't care what the girls ate. They needed to gain weight. Both girls weighed signigantly less than what they should at their age. One of the days that Sasha had brought Emma to see Hannah and him at the hospital, Rios had given Emma a checkup and fortunately the only health issue he had to worry about where Emma was concerned was the malnourishment.

Mallory came in a little earlier than planned as she had worked the overnight shift and wanted to give Hannah her bath before she went home and went to sleep. She wisely ignored the remnants of the pancakes and visited with Mike and the girls until Hannah was ready to go take a shower. He and Mallory had decided to use his bathroom, simply because the shower had a bench and there was a huge bathtub that was never used. It was easier for both Hannah and Mallory.

Sammy had left his extra soccer ball with Mike because he and Sammy frequently played soccer and Mike had gotten tired of breaking into Tom's garage to get one. He had a key to their house but he didn't like walking through their house to get a ball, so he would just break into the garage using the side door. He decided to take some time with Emma and kick the ball around with her, even though it was only in the backyard, she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it, however she did get chilled and seemed to have run out of energy, at least for the moment.

It helped Mike to hear the girl's laughter and see their smiles. He used to think he had to spend a fortune to make them happy but it was really as easy as kicking a soccer ball around with Emma. One of the things that Mallory had warned him about was that parents that had a critically ill child (he didn't like to think of Hannah as critically ill), tended to neglect the other kids and they also forgot to stop being the caretaker when the sick child just wanted a mom or dad. It caused resentment on all fronts. She was concerned about him getting something she called "caretaker's syndrome," and it could cause him to resent and even sort of hate Hannah for being so sick. He couldn't imagine feeling anything like that towards Hannah. It was his job to care for Hannah, and he loved her.

As far as Emma was concerned, he knew it was going to be a challenge to balance Hannah's constant needs and Emma's feelings. She said she was fine with him taking care of Hannah and more or less leaving Emma to her own devices, but Mike was certain that there would be a time that jealousy would rear its ugly head. It was going to be even harder when Mike went back to work and the girl's went back to school.

When Mike and Emma came back in, Mallory hollered for him to help. Another one of the blisters had broken and stuck the bandages to Hannah's skin and Mallory had contended with that but there was another blister that looked like it was about to burst and so she needed to drain it so that it wouldn't cause further skin issues. Hannah didn't want to take any pain medications and so Mallory needed her essentially held down because if Hannah moved at all while Mallory had the scalpel in her hand…well that didn't need to happen.

Mike tried holding her like he had in the hospital and rocking her back and forth, but when that didn't work, and she was still moving around too much, he more or less just pulled Hannah onto his lap and bear hugged her from behind to keep her from moving too much despite how inappropriate it might look since Hannah was already a teenager. It must have been incredibly painful for her, because while she didn't cry, she left fingernail prints in both his forearms. He could deal with that but it was pure hell for him because once Mallory was done and was bandaging her feet, Hannah just started sobbing. She had barely acknowledged any pain but for some reason, today was just too much for her. Mallory was concerned that she would choke herself crying and so she gave her a pain shot. Rios had prescribed them for when it was a danger for Hannah to swallow water but she needed pain relief, and it didn't take long for Hannah to fall asleep. For whatever reason, they had done the bandage change on Mike's bed and so he just left her there and carried her oxygen in and hooked it all up to her.

It was in moments like that, that Mike felt like an even more horrible father. He had a dead son, a critically ill daughter and another daughter who he was scared to death would get mad at him. He had never felt so overwhelmed and exhausted. Mallory understood enough, and left him to watch Hannah sleeping. She had pretty much cried herself to sleep in pain and it broke his heart…again. She was tough as nails but she had to have been in horrendous pain for her to cry like that. He just wished he could do something to take it away. He would trade places with her in a heartbeat.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm still struggling with writing these chapters so reviews and suggestions are more then welcome!

 **Chapter 13**

Hannah slept the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. Mike had mentioned wanting to wake her up for lunch but Mallory told him to let her sleep through. While she was sleeping, her body was healing, and Mike definitely wanted her to heal up. It gave him a chance to give Emma some undivided attention, although he did carry the baby monitor with him and had kept an ear out for Hannah.

It had broken his heart, listening to Hannah cry like she had. He had held her close until she fell asleep. She had always been a tough little girl, constantly having skinned knees from bike wrecks and one weekend while Christine was visiting her sister who had just had a baby, Hannah had decided that a kitten needed rescued from on top of a tree in the backyard, and so without letting her dad know what she was doing, because he would have told her no, she climbed the tree, and promptly fell and shattered her elbow and broke her arm up into the shoulder. It had required surgery and she had not even cried then. Not to mention that broken collarbone from roller skating with friends, too many stitches to count and a busted ear drum when she was five. She was an accident proned kid, and Christine often joked that she was too high of a pain threshold for her own good. None of that had made her cry.

Emma had drawn him a couple new pictures that she insisted he hang in his office. They had watched movies, worked on putting a jigsaw puzzle together and eventually she fell asleep too. He had texted Rios because it seemed like she was sleeping more than normal too; he expected it with Hannah, but not with Emma. Rios texted back that it was expected. Both girls felt safe enough to sleep now and they were more or less catching up. Mike kind of felt like he was totally new to this parenting thing not a 14 year veteran.

Both girls woke up about 2 and he fixed them a late lunch. He had to carry Hannah down the stairs. As strong as she was this morning, this afternoon, it seemed like she was as weak as a kitten now and she was requiring the oxygen despite being awake. When she saw the marks from where she had squeezed his arms, she had teared up again.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I am so sorry, Daddy, please don't be mad. It just hurt so much. I love you, I wouldn't hurt you…" Mike had very gently told her that none of it was her fault and to stop saying sorry. Rios had warned him that there might be some psychological hurdles and it felt like he was knee deep in them now. It was like Hannah had lost her confidence, maybe as she gained strength, she would earn it back. But for the time being, she was not only fragile physically and but also psychologically. He was also going to talk to Mallory about it; she had a way of getting through to Hannah when he was struggling. Mike hated depending on an almost perfect stranger so much, but if it helped Hannah, he would just put that aside.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with both girls dozing off and playing a card game. Hannah couldn't sit up without assistance and so a board game was out of the question, and Emma didn't really have the attention span for a movie. Both girls were in an odd mood and even Emma was needier. It was like they were feeding off each other, and it did try Mike's patience. Pre plague he would have snapped at them, but he just couldn't do that today. He was really trying to be a better father, and part of that was not losing his patience as easily.

After supper, Hannah decided to go to bed, and so it was time for yet another bandage change. Emma had gone to her room to read but she had made him promise he would tuck her in. Mike had hoped that the bandage change would be an easy one, but he was wrong. There was more seepage and so he had to wet the bandages before he could pull them off, Hannah was crying again and he finally handed her the teddy bear from the President to hold onto. Despite her obvious pain, she refused any of the oral pain killers and the pain shot. He prayed that the bandage change went better for her in the morning. He wasn't sure how many more he could handle like this. The bright side was that there were no signs of infection.

She couldn't even stand up for him to turn her bed down and so he had to pick her back up, sit her on the window seat and made sure that she supported herself against the window while he prepared the bed. He didn't even bother trying to get her into a fresh set of pajamas, Mallory had helped her dress into a pair of pajama pants and one of his t-shirts that went to just above her knees that morning. She did try and walk back to the bed but had barely made it 3 feet before he had to pick her up because he didn't want her to fall.

"I hate this!" Hannah said out of pure frustration and he had no words. He hated it too, but he also didn't want her to think he was mad at her. He just tucked her in, gave her the nasal cannula to put on, turned the oxygen on, and kissed her good night and told her he loved her. By the time, he got to Emma's room she was sound asleep as well. She was already under the blankets but he straightened them, kissed her good night and left her.

While he as busy with the girls, he didn't have time to think about Christine or Lucas, but when the girl's slept, all he could do was think about his wife and son, and he would instantly get angry. Christine and Lucas deserved better than him being angry at them. He just didn't know how to get past it. It was like the anger was overshadowing every happy memory, every emotion, even his love for them. It made his heart hurt because it felt like he was not capable of loving them anymore and he ever deserved them.

He washed up the dishes from the entire day, because he had not bothered with them earlier, put the card game away, straightened the living and dining room up and checked his work email. Tom had made sure he was sent all the emails so he could stay up to speed but he couldn't focus on them to even read. He finally went to bed and prayed that tomorrow would start out as happy as today had, and would stay that way.

About 2 am, he felt Emma get in bed with him. When he looked at her he noticed the tears on her face and knowing she had a bad dream without saying a word, he tucked her in next to him. Pre plague he would have carried her back to her own bed and told her to stay there, but he frankly didn't care anymore. She wrapped herself around him like an octopus and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, baby. Just be still, its ok. "

"I miss Mommy…why did she have to die too? It's not fair!"

Mike had no words for her; he didn't have an answer that a nine year old would understand. Most 90 year olds wouldn't understand it either. All he could do was tell her he didn't know, and before too long she was asleep again. He could have carried her back to her bed but decided to just leave her. She was too old to sleep in his bed but he didn't care. Not many people would care anymore. Christine had always been the one to comfort the kids, while he would stand back, if he was home. She always had the right words for them. She had told him once it was not so much about the right words as it was having the right heart. He just prayed that when the girls woke up it would be a better day. He wasn't sure how much more his heart could take.


	14. Chapter 14

This does mention spanking and even has a mention of child abuse, so if that offends you…don't read. It is a bit long but please review…it does have its funny moments.

 **Chapter 14**

Both girls woke up in a much better mood that morning. Hannah was able to walk herself with no assistance and was even able to feed herself. Emma was almost back to her pre plague happy-go-lucky self. They were both smiling and laughing. Mike, on the other hand, was not doing so well. He had trouble going back to sleep after Emma had her bad dream, and she was a pretty restless sleeper and had repeatedly kicked him in the ribs.

He had to take a call from work and when he walked back in Emma was trying to pour a glass of milk while perched very precariously on one of the bar stools. He yelled for her to stop and just as she turned towards him the bar stool started to turn over. He ran across the room and caught her just before she hit her chin on the bar. She had sat the gallon of the milk down but the glass dumped everywhere. He wasn't sure why, but he swatted her on the backend and grabbed her wrist a bit hard. "Emma, you should have asked for help! You could really hurt yourself pulling a stunt like that, you know better! I have enough to deal with!" He had sat her down a little too hard on another bar stool, and realized her eyes had filled with tears. He looked over at Hannah and her chin was quivering and by the time he looked back towards Emma, she was already off the stool and running up the stairs.

"Dad, she was trying to help me, I wanted milk and she knew I wasn't strong enough to lift the gallon, I told her you were busy and so she decided to do that. It's my fault, don't be mad at Emma!" And with that, she also ran up the stairs. He could hear both of the girls crying. He was about half way up the stairs when the doorbell rang, and he could see it was Mallory and so had to backtrack since the front door was still locked. He needed to give the woman a key.

As she walked in and looked at the overturned stool and milk dripping off the counter, she looked at him and said, "Bad morning, huh? Where are the girls?"

He related the story to her, and she told him she was afraid it would happen. He was afraid she would judge him, but she told him it was only a matter of time before he got frustrated. She then handed him a prescription that needed to be filled for Hannah and the name of a vitamin that both girls needed and told him to stay until she got done with Hannah's shower in case she needed help and then to take a break away from the girls. She would stay with them both as it was her day off. He was to get the medicine and then go do whatever it was he did to relax. He did agree but insisted he would be checking on both girls first. She headed for his room to get the bathtub ready and he would send Hannah to her when he was done talking to her.

Emma was sprawled out her bed, lying on her stomach and he could hear her sobbing, while Hannah was sitting next to her rubbing her shoulder. She was also crying but not as heavily as Emma. Mike was definitely not winning any "father of the year awards" that day. Hannah had looked up at him and said something that made his heart break, yet again.

"If you're gonna come in here and be mean to her, just turn around. She and I did just fine when we were homeless; at least no one made us cry. I thought you had changed from before…I was wrong! You're worse, you're mad all the time. You never swatted us before like you did today!"

Her speech had come with a fresh torrid of tears from both girls, and a few of his own. Had he really been that bad before the plague? Maybe that is why he and Christine had so much trouble with their marriage? He thought about turning around but was afraid it was to unrepairable damage to his relationship with both girls. He pushed all that away though and sit down next to them on the bed. He picked Emma up off her belly so he could face her, and noticed she was rubbing her wrist. There was a handprint on her very thin arm, already turning into a bruise. Hannah had her arms crossed over her chest, like she was challenging him.

"I am so sorry! I don't know what to say…I don't have an excuse. I love you both so much, I would never hurt you. Was I that bad before? "He could easily have found some excuse, blamed it on being scared, or on Emma not minding…but none of that was a good enough reason for what he had done. Both girls looked at each other, and while Hannah was giving him her best "I'm not buying it" look, Emma threw her arms around his neck and hugged him so tightly and finally Hannah relented and let him put his other arm around her and pull her close. All three of them were crying, and Mike felt terrible. When he was a cop, he had been an in special unit that investigated child deaths that typically were caused by abuse, before he was transferred to the south side in Chicago. It was a couple years before he and Christine had met, or he had his own kids, and he always swore he would never be one of "those people." Would never swat his kids; never lay a hand on them. Sure, he was strict with them, but he preferred to not even spank them.

"It's ok, Daddy, I'm sorry I made you mad. You weren't that bad before, other kids had worser dads. You have just been kind of cranky today and I think you need a time out."

If Mike hadn't been so upset by what had happened, he would have burst out laughing. Emma was completely serious and even Hannah was having trouble not laughing. Mike gave both girls a big hug and kiss, and exchanged "I love you's" with them. He explained that he was going to take a "time out" and would be out of the house for the day and they were to behave for Mallory. Hannah went in for her bath and bandage change and he and Emma went down stairs to wash her face and clean the kitchen.

He had sit Emma down on the counter so he could wash her face and check her arm over to make sure he hadn't seriously injured her. She was back to her normal, happy self. Her wrist was bruising but not too badly and she told him it didn't really hurt, although he was pretty sure she was lying because he would catch her rubbing it. Pre plague, he would have been reported to Child Protective Services, but now they were overtaxed with placing orphans to worry about child abuse(that was kind of scary), and so he knew there would be no legal ramifications, just personal ones for him.

"It's really okay, Daddy. Hannah shouldn't have said those things to you. You were never that mean. We did lots of fun stuff with you; you were just always worried about work. But she was right about something, you seem mad now. Is it because of Mom and Lucas or did we do something bad? I know you're really worried about Hannah being so sick and that she might die like Lucas and make you sadder."

"I am mad, but definitely not at you two. It is because of your mom and brother dying. I am scared for you and Hannah. I am going to miss getting old with your mom, and watching Lucas grow up. That is what I'm mad about. I want you to tell me, when it's time for me to take a "time out," what happened this morning, it can't ever happen again. I went way too far. I love you girls, and yes, I am dealing with a lot but it is not your fault. Don't ever think you are inconveniencing me. If you girls had been out on that street much longer, Hannah would have died and God only knows what might have happened to you. I am so, so, so sorry for this morning."

Emma cocked her head towards him, and scrunched her nose up, and said "I thought you were already old?" He burst out laughing, and picked her up off the counter and hugged her close and carried her to the couch and laid her down and started tickling her. As serious as the moment was, his heart felt a lot lighter. She was laughing hysterically and trying to tickle him back. Hannah and Mallory had also come down the stairs and were laughing at them.

The kitchen was still a mess but Mallory essentially told him to get moving, she would clean the mess up. He grabbed his gym bag, and kissed both girls goodbye. Mallory did let him know that Hannah's bandage change had gone well. Hannah was a little stiffer towards him, but when he kissed her forehead, he told her they would talk a little later and that he loved her. She nodded at him, and he knew she needed to cool down just a bit. She had his temper and it took time for her to let stuff go, she always forgave but sometimes it took a little longer than he would like. She did tell him she loved him back and kissed him on the cheek. That was a start. He thanked Mallory, wrote his cellphone number down for her, and told her to make herself at home and to eat and drink whatever she wanted and left. He would be home before supper and was out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

If Mike had felt badly before, he felt worse now…he actually was enjoying his "time out." He was missing his girls and was worried something might happen while he was gone, and had repeatedly checked his phone and had texted Mallory twice, the second time he got a response back, "They are fine, we have already ate a gallon of chocolate ice cream, painted fingernails and toenails, and are playing with the makeup that is in the girl's bathroom…stop worrying! If something even starts to happen I'll call. They need a break from you too. "

It was a little distressing if they had actually ate ice cream, it wasn't even 11 yet and make up? His baby girls were too young for that stuff. He had planned to go to the gym but he also wanted to take Tom out for a steak and a beer if he wasn't too busy. Tom's friendship had been invaluable and Mike would have been lost without it. He knew it was Tom that had spearheaded his house being redecorated, but more than that, he had saved Hannah's life, and quite possibly Emma's too. He owed him so much more than a thank you.

As he walked through the office in his jeans, button down shirt and ball cap, several of the ensigns weren't sure whether to stand at attention or ignore him, and so he just nodded at them. He stopped to speak with his administrative assistant, Kate, who let him know Tom was just in his office, more or less puttering around.

"Don't ask any questions, you and I are going for lunch, since your so bored" as Mike walked into the office without even stopping to knock. Tom looked up and laughed.

"Why are you here and where are the girls?"

"Long story, short, Emma is making me take a "time out" because I'm cranky. And I want to take you out for lunch. My girls are apparently playing with makeup and eating ice cream with Mallory."

"You mean all those times you got "cranky" I should have given you a time out and I could have eaten ice cream? I don't really want to play with make up! Do I get to pick the place? If I let you, you'll try and feed me off the dollar menu, you've done it before."

Mike just shook his head and laughed as Tom grabbed his coat and cell phone, and told Kate that he would be taking an early lunch. They picked a bar and grill that had melt-in-your-mouth steaks and beer on tap. There weren't many restaurants open so there weren't many to choose from.

The next hour, they just talked about everything and Mike did disclose to Tom what had happened that morning and how angry he felt. He knew that Tom was the last person in the world to judge him. He had told him that it was wrong, to feel such anger and frustration when he should just be beyond grateful that he had his girls, thanks to Tom. Tom didn't say much, would nod his head but Mike could tell he was taking in every word that was said.

"You're only human, Mike. Ashley and Sammy go to a therapist and she says that there are five stages to grief. She used an acronym, DABDA. It stands for Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. She said that they may not go through them in that order, may go backwards at some point, may even skip a step, but she was adamant that anger was the one that almost always showed up and usually people get stuck on it. I can't speak for what it is like losing a child, I can't even imagine that hell, and I do know its Lucas' death that will weigh you down more so than Christine's. You mentioned that it was like you weren't grieving for her at all and focusing only on Lucas? And you feel angry at him for dying? I would say that is normal. You're feeling robbed of his future, the future you had planned out? Also normal. You have to let go of the future you had planned for those two, and just focus on the memories you did have, and the present with the girls. His loss has carved out a piece of your heart that simply will never be filled in, you will always miss him, always wonder "what if…" and as farfetched as it seems now, you may find someone to be with, I know Christine was irreplaceable and God knows I still miss Darian, but Christine's role in your life may eventually be replaced, Lucas', not so much. I have no words of wisdom for you. All I can offer is support and friendship; I knew that when you got settled, the grief that you had been pushing back would come back to bite you and that is what is happening now. I can't fix it; I wish I could for you. You don't deserve all this, but you are strong enough to get to the other side. Just be honest with the girls, they are both wise beyond their years, and in a lot of ways have already grieved for their mom and brother. I know you don't want to but lean on them. I think they are strong enough to handle it and of course you know you have Sasha and I if you need someone to lean on or another "time out.""

The remainder of the lunch was spent just talking about Sammy's soccer game, a play that Ashley would be in, and various things around the base and the St. Louis White House. Tom's speech had done Mike in, and he thought about just going back home, but after thanking Tom profusely for the house and everything else he had and promising he would call if needed, Mike headed to the gym.

At the gym, he had a very rigorous work out, and had the beat the hell out of the punching bag. It was pretty quiet and so he didn't have to worry too much about what people thought. Wolf had come in at some point and spotted for him while he lifted weights and held the punching bag. What surprised Mike was that Wolf was mostly silent and when he did ask, he didn't ask about the girls, just Mike. He seemed to sense the rage that Mike was feeling and just let Mike go. It actually was a relief to not talk about the girls or Lucas or Christine. It almost seemed selfish. Mike thanked Wolf for his help with the house and helping with his work out. It did occur to Mike that Wolf had not actually done his own work out before he left.

He ran to the pharmacy and got the prescription for Hannah filled, along with the vitamins that were for both girls. Although he had more food at his house then he and the girls could ever eat, he stopped by the grocery store to get some of the girl's favorite foods and more ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes. He stopped by the bookstore and got Hannah another book, she didn't have her glasses yet, but if need be, he would just read it to her. The bookstore was next to a craft store and so he stopped and got Emma a box of oil pastels and a new drawing pad. He wanted to spoil them, especially after his outburst that morning. It was almost suppertime and so he texted Mallory that he was headed home, and asked if anything was needed. She told him no and that both girls were napping.

Mike walked in to find Hannah sleeping on the recliner and Emma stretched across the sectional. Mallory was in the kitchen cooking supper and the house smelled clean. They talked for a bit and when Hannah woke up, Mallory took the medicine upstairs with her, and changed Hannah's bandages so Mike wouldn't have to. Hannah was still a little quiet around him but did seem happy with the book he had gotten her and did give him a hug.

Emma woke up soon afterwards and was as usual her happy self. She was thrilled with her pastels and drawing pad and told him she would draw him another picture. She helped him set the table, setting an extra place for Mallory. Her wrist was still a little bruised but she told him, it didn't hurt so despite still feeling bad about the whole situation, her happy attitude helped him. He just wished Hannah would be so forgiving.

They ate supper and visited with Mallory. She didn't talk much about her family and her life before the plague but Mike got the drift that she was the lone survivor of her family. It was kind of sad. He had thought for a while that he was and it hurt. He had noticed that she wore a wedding band but never mentioned a husband or kids. Before she left, Mike tried to give her money, and she refused. She promised Hannah she would be back in the morning and hugged Emma and left.

Mike was kind of at a loss what to do with the girls, Hannah was still pretty reserved and was trying to read but he could tell her eyes were bothering her. He offered to read to her but she had told him no. He and Emma finished putting the puzzle together and he showed her how to use the pastels. She wanted to go to bed early and so both girls headed upstairs. He knew Hannah was just trying to escape more than anything else.

He tucked Emma in, and apologized to her again for the morning's outburst. She smiled at him and said, "Daddy, don't be so sad. Hannah is just upset because she doesn't feel good and is not liking you having to do so much for her, she is afraid you'll stop loving her because you have to do so much. She thinks you're mad at her, not because Mom and Lucas died." For only being nine years old, Emma could be very profound. He tucked her in, kissed her goodnight, and exchanged "I love you's" with her.

Hannah was in her room reading and had already turned her oxygen on; it was like she didn't want his help with anything. When he sat down next to her on the bed, he could feel her stiffen up and when he turned the baby monitor on, she huffed at him.

"I guess you're not ready to talk? It's okay if you aren't, but it isn't a good idea to go to sleep still mad at someone you love. I know I overstepped this morning, and Emma and I have worked it out. I do appreciate you being so protective of her and I promise to not hurt either of you like that ever again. I love you, that is not going to stop because you need help right now. I know I seem frustrated and mad, but it's not at you. I am trying really hard to be a better dad to the two of you, I know there is a lot of room for improvement and I never realized how bad of a job I was doing before. I have always loved you, but I needed to be better at showing it. I very, nearly lost you and it's not something I would have recovered from. I am having trouble enough with losing your mom and Lucas, losing either you or Emma terrifies me. When you're ready to talk, I'm here." He bent over and kissed her on the top of the head and adjusted the oxygen to give her a little more for the night and walked out of her bedroom. Throughout the whole speech, she had not made eye contact and had not said a word.

He knew she would eventually forgive him, but until she did, it would still hurt. She would have to be willing to accept his help despite being upset with him. He locked up downstairs and came back upstairs and checked on both girls. They were both sleeping and so he went to bed. He hoped the next day would be happier. His talk with Tom had helped him a lot, partly because he knew now that what he was feeling concerning Lucas was normal. He was just going to have to cycle through his grief and hopefully smooth things over with Hannah. It was exhausting and it didn't take him long to get to sleep.

Hannah knew her dad was a pretty light sleeper and so she had to be really quiet. She had worked on a letter for him, sometimes her dad was not so good at communicating and you had to spell things out for him. She slipped into his room, and heard him snoring a little loud. She wondered how her mom had dealt with all that noise for all those years, and then sat the letter on his dresser and slipped back out of his room and back to hers.

" _Daddy,_

 _I am sorry I was so mean to you this morning. I don't know why I said those things to you. I don't want to be homeless again, I like being here with you. I am just scared that if we act up too much, you'll leave again and we will back on the streets._

 _Emma told me you were mad because of Lucas dying. I thought you were mad at me for being so sick. I wish I could get better faster. I tried really hard today so you wouldn't have to do so much. But it was really hard, and when you went on your time out, Mallory had to help me with everything._

 _Mom told me that the doctors gave Lucas some medicine and so he wasn't in any pain when he died. He would dream that you were there so he didn't wonder where you were. He knew how much you loved him. He is watching over you now too, and he doesn't want you to be sad. I was as close as the doctor's would let any of us be when he died._

 _I wish I had done something different so Mom could be here to help all of us. She also was not in any pain. She would also want you to not be so sad._

 _I love you,_

 _Hannah"_


	16. Chapter 16

Another very emotionally charged chapter, and there are mentions of suicide. Please review!

 **Chapter 16**

Mike woke up to hear the girls talking in Hannah's bedroom and so he walked in there to check on them. Hannah and Emma were both sitting on Hannah's bed and Hannah was braiding Emma's hair. He paused next to the door and watched them for a minute. Hannah was still very thin and extremely pale, but was smiling. Emma had actually gained weight back faster than Hannah and whatever story she was telling Hannah was causing her to wave her arms all around. Christine had always talked with her hands too, and so to watch Emma doing it made him smile. He poked his head in to tell them he would shower and shave and would go downstairs and make breakfast. Emma gave him a bright smile but Hannah looked nervous about something, almost like she was expecting to get into trouble. At least she made eye contact with him and smiled a little.

He walked back in and was putting his watch and wedding band in a little dish that Lucas had made him for Father's Day. He used it to put those items in while he showered because he was always afraid the ring would fall off, and it was his non-Navy watch as Christine had called it, and so it couldn't get wet. He saw the note sitting against his and Christine's wedding picture and knowing that it wasn't there the night before, he was instantly curious.

He sit down on the bed and began reading it, and was glad that he did. He was pretty sure his knees would have gone out from under him had he not. He wasn't sure what hurt worse, Hannah thinking they would be homeless again, that she had pretended to have a good day so he wasn't mad at her for needing help, or the part about Lucas. He had wondered if Lucas was in any pain, had asked for him or wondered if Mike loved him at the end of his short life, and Hannah's note answered all those questions.

Mike had shut the bedroom door and so he thought the girls wouldn't hear him crying but he was wrong, it had hit him hard. He was sitting on the end of the bed, with his head in his hands, sobbing. He had been more emotional in the last week than he had been in all his life, but this was different. He didn't hear the girls open his door, and then close it.

Hannah and Emma heard their dad crying, and Hannah instantly knew why, she just wasn't sure how to help him. Her window was on the front of the house and so she saw that Uncle Tom's truck was still there, and she knew ordinarily she would be in huge trouble for doing it, but she and Emma put their house shoes on and headed out the front door and crossed the quiet street and rang the doorbell at Tom's house.

Tom was shocked to see both girls at his door and was instantly worried something was wrong. Mike would never allow them out of the house in their pajamas and house slippers and they both looked really distressed. He tugged at their arms to get them to come inside because it was so cold. Sasha had come up beside him at that point and was equally worried, and both girls were crying.

"Uncle Tom, Daddy is really upset…I kind of told him about how Lucas died in a note, and he is crying really hard. We don't know how to help him but when someone cries that hard, they can get sick. I was hoping you would know what to do?"

Tom instantly looked between Mike's house and Sasha, the front door was still standing open and Hannah was starting to wheeze a little. She grabbed both girls' hands and told them they would be eating breakfast that morning with Sam and Ashley. He knew that Mike needed to cry it out, and he needed to not be stopped from doing that, but the girls didn't need to handle that, and Mike didn't need to be alone. Tom knew that Mike kept a loaded handgun in his nightstand. Tom had to question if Mike was suicidal. He didn't even stop to put his jacket on, but very calmly walked to his front door so not to scare the kids. Sasha understood what he was questioning, and just nodded at him. As soon as the front door shut, Tom sprinted across his yard, the street and Mike's yard and into his front door. As soon as he opened the door, he could hear Mike sobbing and so he sprinted up the stairs.

Tom had never heard or seen anything so pitiful and to see someone that he loved just like a brother like that, really hurt. All he could do was sit down next to Mike on the floor and put a hand on his shoulder. He suspected that Mike probably had started by sitting on the bed but had more or less just collapsed onto the floor. He had no idea how long they sit there for. He mostly stayed quiet because he wanted Mike to go through whatever it was he needed to, only breaking up the sobs to tell Mike that the girls were at his house and safe. Mike did nod at that but both hands were covering his face. The note was lying on the floor next to Mike and while Tom felt it would ordinarily be a huge breach of privacy, he read it; he needed to better understand what had happened to Lucas to help Mike.

Hannah had been right about someone getting sick from crying that hard and Tom barely had time to grab the waste basket in the bathroom when he realized what was about to happen. Between still sobbing and vomiting at the same time, Tom was beginning to wonder if Mike was going to physically be okay. He heard the front door open and close and seen Mallory walking up the stairs.

"Is everything ok? Mike never leaves the door open like that, where are the girls?" She must have seen Mike sitting on the floor because her eyes instantly went wide.

"They are over at my house, they're okay, and I just didn't think they needed to be here." Tom hated to do it, but he handed her the note and pointed to the paragraph about Lucas. "Can he hurt himself crying like that? I think he needs to get it out, but I don't want him to get sicker."

They were standing in the hallway at that point, and although Mallory had tears in her own eyes, she walked into Hannah's bedroom and got a syringe and a glass bottle from where they were keeping Hannah's medical supplies. He watched her load the syringe with whatever was in the bottle and then hand it to him.

"He needs to do exactly what he is doing but it is getting out of hand, sedating him might not be a bad idea. He could aspirate on the vomit and cause himself to get sick. He doesn't know me well enough for me to give him the shot without his consent and quite honestly I could lose my nursing license if it was ever pushed, it is technically Hannah's but we haven't had to use it on her. I don't so much worry about my license but he is pretty big and strong so I would need help if he starts to fight. I highly, highly suggest we get him into that bed and get him sedated. Is there a suicide risk? "

"I would like to say no, but I honestly don't know. I am going to take the gun I know he keeps in here back to my house when I'm able to." Tom headed back into the Mike's bedroom at that point with the syringe in his hand, he sit it down in the same dish that Mike's watch and wedding band were in. He knew Lucas had made it for Mike the last Father's Day before they shipped out for the Arctic. It was a little ironic.

"Come on, buddy, let's get you back to the bed, at least sit down for me. You need to get some rest. I know you're hurting right now and probably worried about the girls but they are safe. You're worrying me. "

Mike semi helped get himself back to the bed, and with Mallory's help they sit him up, and she instructed Tom to use the entire syringe on Mike. Tom squeezed every drop of the liquid into Mike's arm and within about a minute Mike was falling asleep. They were able got him straightened out on the bed before he become completely dead weight.

"I don't know how long he will be out; the dosage is more for someone Hannah's size, not a full grown man. He needed to do exactly this and I honestly don't think he would ever commit suicide, he knows the girl's would be orphans then and he would never hurt them like that. But I do agree with getting the guns out. I dusted his office yesterday and there is a small handgun in the desk drawer and I suspect at least one in a gun safe in there, but he probably wouldn't give you the code? I can stay here until you get them cleared out, and let the girls know he is okay. I will go over to your house if it's okay and do the bandage change at the very least."

And so, Tom began gathering up Mike's guns. He knew Mike had several in different places and he did have the code for the gun safe. Mike was always careful with them but he did tend to hide them where the girl's couldn't get to them. It must have been a holdover from his cop days. Tom carried them over and put them all in his gun safe, which was just off his garage, he wanted to conceal it from the girls and frankly, his own kids who adored Mike that he believed that he might harm himself. He quietly explained to Sasha what was going on and that the girls would be staying with them for the day at least and he would be at Mike's and she nodded in agreement, and he also let her know that Mallory would be over shortly.

"Girls, your dad is sleeping right now. He had a pretty rough time after reading that letter. You did exactly the right thing coming to get me. I am going to stay with him today and there is a possibility you may stay with us tonight. I don't want your dad alone right now. Hannah, I know you're blaming yourself right now, but don't. He needed to know more about the circumstances about Lucas' death. I know it seems like he is only grieving for Lucas but he is also grieving for the life he had planned out for himself and for your mom. Mallory will be here in a few minutes with your bandages and I think she is packing a bag for you to have over here. I know it's hard, but don't worry about your dad. He isn't going anywhere; he is just really sad right now. He knows how much you love him and he loves you both about a thousand times more."

Both girls nodded and he knew that Hannah was still blaming herself. He hugged them both and went back over to relieve Mallory. He suspected she could handle Mike just fine, but Mike was likely going to be really mad when he did wake up, and she didn't need to deal with that.

Mallory met him at the front door and told him Mike was still asleep but his vitals were okay, he would need to keep an eye on his pulse and respirations. She handed him another loaded syringe and told him it was just in case Mike needed it again. They both suspected he wouldn't but it was there if it was needed.

Tom made himself a pot of coffee and just looked around the house. Maybe it was a mistake, having so many pictures sitting around? He kept pictures of Darian in his kid's bedrooms and he still had trouble looking at them but the kid's needed them. Emma had been seven when Lucas had died so there was a good possibility, her memories would fade of him. He would ask Mike about it when he was in a little better of a state.

He checked Mike's pulse and respirations every fifteen minutes, and Mike was sleeping so hard that he wasn't even snoring. When they shipped out the first time as newly minted Lieutenants, they were bunkmates and Tom remembered how hard Mike would snore. The first port they made, Tom found a pair of ear plugs. He had asked Christine at a barbeque how she put up with it, and she just told him that she had practically bought stock in an ear plug company. Every deployment after that, Christine would send Tom a bottle of ear plugs. It was a huge joke amongst them, and Mike always denied that he even snored.

It was a little after one when Mike finally started to wake up. Tom handed him a cup of coffee and a couple aspirin. It was like Mike was mid hangover because he wasn't quite computing what was going on. He had asked about the girls twice, and had spilled the coffee and burnt his hand when he tried to sit it on the night stand.

"The girls came and got me, Mike, they were really worried about you. What happened today, needed to happen. It doesn't make you any less of a person or a dad. I don't know why Christine didn't give you any details about how Lucas had died other than from the Red Flu. But you know now, your little boy was not in any pain. He was apparently comforted by dreaming about you, and those dreams were realistic enough that he thought you were there. You have painted yourself as this horrible, strict dad before the plague, but you were not at all. Those girls adore you. If you were that bad, the first question they both asked me would not have been if you were alive. You wouldn't have been that bad, if Lucas was comforted just by dreaming of you. Stop guilt tripping yourself. You will grieve for Lucas for the rest of your life, Christine too, but more significantly, Lucas. I'm going to go downstairs and fix something to eat. Get yourself cleaned up, and come downstairs and we'll talk some more. I don't know if you'll even look but every gun that was in this house is now at mine. I couldn't take any chances."

Tom headed downstairs and he heard Mike get up and start the shower, he hoped what had happened would end up helping Mike, but he knew in the short term, Mike would be ashamed of how he was so broken and Tom had to see him like that. He didn't really care about that though; all that he cared about was his friend.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Mike felt like he had been on a three day bender, although that might have felt better. He was thankful that the girls had gone and gotten Tom and they were being cared for. He hadn't meant to scare them. He hated that Tom had seen him like that, it was shameful. The anger was gone, just pain was left. He missed Christine, but what was harder was how much he was missing Lucas. There had been times that he thought he missed them, but now it was different. It was like all he could do was cry.

He showered, shaved, and made his bed. The bedroom was a mess, spilled coffee all over the nightstand. Tom had taken the trash out because apparently he had gotten sick. He generally liked his house to be organized and tidy. The letter Hannah had written him was lying on the bed and he picked it up and put it in his dresser drawer. He didn't want to read it again right then but also didn't want to throw it away. Hannah hadn't meant to hurt him by telling him what Lucas' last hours were like. He was actually kind of glad he knew. He had imagined Lucas being in horrible pain, crying for him and no one knew there to comfort him. He knew Christine and the girls weren't allowed in the room with him to protect them, but Lucas was also delirious so if he imagined his dad being there, he probably imagined his mom and sisters there too.

Over the last year and a half, Mike's imagination had been working overtime, first with Lucas dying and then when he couldn't find his wife and daughters, he had imagined all the worst scenarios. Horrible, horrible scenarios. Usually reality is worse than imagination, but in this case, not so much. His wife had died a horrible death too, and he couldn't make that right in his head, but she had died quickly, and the way Hannah had described it, with very little pain. He hated that Hannah had to witness it but she seemed to be okay dealing with it. He loved Christine and he hated that he had lessened her loss by just concentrating on Lucas, but she would have wanted him to do that, he thought. He could hear Tom banging around in his kitchen, and the smoke alarm going off. Tom was by no means, a cook. Mike would have much rather stayed in his room all day especially since he knew his girls were being cared for, but he needed to make sure his house was not on fire.

As he walked down the stairs, he couldn't help but laugh. It smelled horrible. The entire first floor was smoky and Tom was opening windows to try and air it out. He had boiled, what Mike thought might have been soup at one point, completely dry. Tom hadn't noticed Mike until Mike took the batteries out of the smoke alarm to silence it and took the saucepan off the still-hot burner and dumped it into the sink. Tom could do so much, command a ship, help find a cure to the worst virus the world had ever seen, take on the Chinese President, and stop a coup of his own government, but he couldn't heat up a pan of soup. The media would have a field day with that.

"Are you okay?"

"I would be better if you wouldn't try and burn my house down. I am buying you cooking lessons. This is horrible…does Sasha let you in the kitchen?"

"Not what I meant and you know it, I think I ruined that saucepan though." Mike wasn't sure how to answer him because the reality was, he wasn't "okay" but he was finding a new definition for it. Tom's cooking catastrophe gave him something to laugh at, at least.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and I appreciate everything you've done. Not sure what the definition of "okay" is anymore. I hate the fact that you and the girls saw me like that. I suppose you're right in that it had to happen, I just didn't expect it to hit me like that. It wasn't just finding out what had happened with my son, but also Hannah thinking I was mad at her for being so sick and that they would end up homeless again. How do I fix that? I can't do anything about Lucas now, and as hard as it seems I am actually more at peace where he is concerned. I know I'll always miss him and I will have more bad days, but the girls? I can fix that."

"No apology necessary where I'm concerned and the girls are just worried about you. You won't need to apologize to them. They love you. I don't have an answer as to how to fix it with Hannah. You're her caretaker now, but you are also her dad. Right now, her physical needs are outweighing everything. I know you've been making a point to help her read because of her eyes, you feed her, help her with her bandages, whatever she needs. I have no doubt that you love her, and would do anything for her, but find out what she wants to do. She can't play basketball or ride horses right now, so that's out. Mallory has a point, where the "caretaker's syndrome" is concerned, and I do think you are developing it. You are forgetting to be her dad, and just being her caretaker. I don't mean to be critical and I know you are struggling to balance everything. You know Sasha and I will help where we can. As far as work is concerned, you have as long as you need. Hannah may never be a 100% and she may always have some special needs, and Emma is going to need you too. I wish I had a better answer for you. You have a ton of people who love you, and will do anything to help you. Just ask. After your workout yesterday, Wolf came by and told me how angry you seemed and wondered what he could do to help. "

By then the kitchen was cleaned and most of the smoke had cleared out. Tom asked him if he was ready for the girls to come back home and although he agreed and Tom left, suddenly Mike was absolutely terrified. How would they react to him now? Everything that Tom had said was overwhelming but true. He couldn't imagine ever resenting either of his girls but he had not stopped to think about what either girl really wanted. He was just assuming. He knew he must have scared them that morning.

Emma was the first one in the door, and ran straight for him, and he immediately picked her up and held her. Hannah took a little longer to come in, and he suspected that Tom was probably talking to her and she was a little slower on her feet. He had finally sat down on the couch with Emma still in his arms when Hannah and Tom come in. Hannah sat down beside him and put her head on his shoulder. He didn't even hear Tom leave, he was just concentrating on the girls, Emma was on his lap and he had his arm around Hannah, with her head on chest. They hadn't really talked at all, just sit there and cried. Before too long, both girls had fallen asleep in his arms.

Normally he would have been worried about Hannah not having her oxygen and would have jumped up to get it, but she seemed to be breathing okay and so he just sit there. He was actually kind of enjoying the silence. Tom had put a quilt over the three of them before he left, knowing that the girls would fall asleep, and Mike was still drowsy from whatever medicine that Tom and Mallory had used to sedate him and so he eventually fell asleep too. He would talk to both the girls a little later.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

They stayed just like that for the rest of the afternoon. Nothing needed to be said. Mike was still asleep when the girls woke up, and somehow they both managed to get off of him without waking him up. Neither girl was very strong but they managed to get him to more or less flop over on the couch, into a more comfortable sleeping position, Emma had eased a throw pillow under his head, and Hannah put the quilt over him.

Emma had gone up to her room, she said she wanted to draw Mike a picture, but Hannah didn't want to leave him alone, when he woke up, he would worry where they were. Uncle Tom had told her that Mike was also worried about her thinking that if she needed so much, he would be mad. Hannah knew that she may always be sickly. Her lungs were badly damaged and she would always have to be more careful. There was a whole list of stuff she would not be able to do, including basketball. She knew her violin was upstairs and while she was really rusty it was something she could do, so she went up and got it and some sheet music. She wasn't worried about if it woke her dad up, she just wanted to try and play again, Mike had always loved to listen to her play violin, and while it wasn't his first choice of music, he always said it was his favorite.

Mike realized that he was no longer holding either girl, and was lying on the couch at a very weird angle, but he was hearing the absolutely most beautiful sound. When he opened his eyes he saw Hannah sitting in the recliner, playing her violin. She must have been struggling, struggling to read the music, and struggling because the violin and bow was too heavy for her very weak arms, but she was playing. In the last week he had been a constant caretaker for her, and that part of his brain was telling him to tell her to stop playing, to save her strength. But the dad part of his brain was loving watching and listening to her play. Before he left for the Arctic and before the plague, Hannah's violin teacher had begun talking to Mike and Christine about sending her to Juilliard. They both agreed she was far too young to even think about it, they wanted her to just enjoy playing violin before it determined her future.

Juilliard was probably non-existent now and even if it did exist, it would be a long time before Hannah would have the strength to play professionally. But what caught Mike's attention more than her playing was the look on her face, she wasn't even reading the music, because her eyes were closed but there was a smile on her face that looked just like she had before, when she was playing violin, or riding horses. She had smiled plenty at him since Tom found the girls, but this was different. It was pure happiness. He hadn't seen it since before he left for the Arctic. She hadn't realized he was awake and watching her and so she just kept playing until her arms started to give out.

Hannah finally sit the violin and bow down and realized that her dad had been watching her, and he had tears rolling down his face. She had made him cry yet again! But this wasn't like this morning, because he also was smiling. She didn't feel that she had done that good of a job on the music she was playing but apparently her dad didn't mind the missed notes and occasional squeaks.

She stood up and walked over to the couch and sit down next to him, she wasn't sure what to say and apparently he wasn't either. She felt she had really hurt him by telling him about Lucas and he was mad. How did she apologize to him for hurting so badly?

"I am really sorry, I shouldn't have told you in that letter about Lucas, I just thought it might help you to know that he wasn't in any pain and knew that you loved him. I just didn't know how else to tell you. When Emma and I found you like that, I didn't know how to help you, and just hoped that Uncle Tom would know. I've never seen you like that, and it was scary. I was afraid you would get sick and die and I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't strong enough to help you. Please don't be mad at me."

Mike had put an arm around her and kissed the side of her head. He wasn't even sure how to answer but knew he had to. The poor kid was eating herself up with guilt. He couldn't allow that. He could hear Emma upstairs moving around and even though he wanted to talk to her, Hannah needed him more, and not as a caretaker. As her dad.

"Hannah, listen to me. I needed to know about Lucas, I would have had that same reaction regardless of how I was told. I will always hurt because of Lucas dying, your mom too. But having you girls here, it helps. Before Tom found you, I was barely getting by, just going to work and looking for you all. Nothing I did had any meaning, I was finding less and less reasons to smile. I am not angry with you for being sick, you will never be homeless again. You and Emma will always have a place, wherever I am. Tom brought up a valid point while he was here, you have needed me as a caretaker because of your needs, and don't get me, wrong…I've loved helping you and will do anything you need, anytime you need me. But you don't need a caretaker, you need your dad. If need be, I will hire someone to see to your needs, and I will just go back to being dad. I am sure Mallory will help me find someone. I will leave that up to you. You are to never, ever feel like you are inconveniencing me, I am not angry at you…just myself. I love you so, so much, more than you will ever know."

Hannah had been crying through his entire speech, and he had reached over and wiped the tears away a couple different times. She had kind of curled up under his arm and she was starting to cry harder, and was having some difficulty breathing. Mike didn't want to leave her but she also had to be able to breathe. Mike ran upstairs and grabbed her small oxygen bottle, face mask and the tubing and ran back downstairs. He just wanted to be her dad but right now her need to breathe was outweighing everything else.

He hooked everything up and put the mask over her mouth and nose and turned the oxygen up as high as it could go and then just wrapped her up into a huge hug. He could hear her breathing easing up a little and he knew she wasn't asleep. Emma had come downstairs at some point and sat down on his other side and would occasionally smile at him. Hannah finally pulled away from him, and took the mask off. He could tell she was worn out and seemed a bit spacey.

"Can I have some water? I am really thirsty."

Before Mike could even stand up, Emma had jumped up and ran to the kitchen, and she was back in a shot, handing him the cup of water and straw with a huge smile. As Hannah was drinking the water, he had to hold it up for her because her arms were too weak. Emma was standing at his knee, watching Hannah and he. He reached up and tickled her under the chin, and she gave him another huge smile.

"I love you both so much! You both are so amazing. Emma, you have that huge heart that always wants to help and Hannah, you have turned into such a beautiful young lady who is so strong and brave. I am so unbelievably proud of the two of you."


	19. Chapter 19

_**For some reason, I can see Mike's character as having a bit of a magic touch with babies...so bare with me, the chapter has a point, Please review! I am not an expert on babies, so some of this may not be actual fact.**_

 **Chapter 19**

They sit like that for hours, until he heard Emma's stomach growl. It was past time for dinner. Hannah had told him she didn't want him to hire an at home health aide to take care of her, and that made Mike happy. He wanted to be the one to take care of her but he also knew he was going to have to take time to just be her dad too, because she made it crystal clear that was all she wanted. He would have to figure out a plan for when he went back to work, because he didn't feel comfortable leaving her home alone, especially with her health issues. School was also going to be an issue for both girls.

Emma had begged for more chocolate chip pancakes, and he honestly was thrilled to make them for the two of them. Hannah didn't want orange juice because it had bothered her stomach when she drank it the first day she was home from the hospital, she was just afraid to say anything. She did ask for apple juice, but he didn't have any. Kara Greene would, so he texted her. She told him she would be there in a minute with it, and she needed help with Frankie. The little guy wouldn't settle down and Mike had a bit of a magic touch with him.

When Kara walked in, Mike was standing behind the kitchen island, with Emma sitting on the countertop next to the built in stovetop, trying to pour the entire bag of chocolate chips on her pancake and Hannah sitting on the barstool next to him turning sausage links. Mike was always good to the crew but tough. He just liked them to do their jobs. But the scene she saw then, made her laugh hysterically. It was not how anyone would have pictured Mike Slattery.

"Oh, hey. What's going on with Mr. Fussy Britches? Should be teething?"

Kara was shocked at how much parenting advise that Mike had given her, and how much it had actually worked. Colic, ear infections, belly aches, Mike had a cure for all of it. He was a bit of oxy moron. Tough captain, former prisoner of war, hard taskmaster…and a baby magnet. As much as the media didn't need to get ahold of Tom's lack of cooking skills, they didn't need to get ahold of Mike's skills with a baby.

"I think he is teething, he's trying to chew on everything but I don't feel anything. Which tooth would be coming in? Isn't he a bit young?"

Mike handed Hannah the spatula and took the bag of chocolate chips away from Emma, with a laugh, and washed his hands and grabbed Frankie from her. She had put the juice on the counter and walked over to make sure the girls didn't need help with their pancakes. Frankie had stopped crying as soon as Mike took him, and when she looked over at Mike, he had a finger in Frankie's mouth feeling around. Mike had walked into the powder room and grabbed a wash cloth and walked back in. He had his fingers out of Frankie's mouth and Frankie was giving him sloppy kisses which was making him laugh. He turned the faucet on hot and soaked the wash cloth, and then knotted it up and handed it to Frankie to suck on…and Frankie was instantly enthralled and had it in his mouth.

"It's a front tooth, but there is another one coming up that is probably hurting him more. Lucas had trouble with that one too. I'm sure you have all kinds of teething rings and such, but that wash cloth soaked in hot water will help more. He may also have some diaper rash too, Lucas also seemed to get it worse when he was teething, the girls, not so much. I think it is something different with boys but I don't know, definitely not an expert."

Kara and Hannah had been working on the pancakes while Mike stood and rocked Frankie back and forth, and for the first time in what seemed like days, Frankie was sound asleep. Mike might have said he was no expert, but he looked like a genius to her just then. She was a little overwhelmed since Danny was with Master Chief inspecting Fort Leonard Wood and her mom had gone back to Norfolk for a couple weeks. Being a basically single parent was a lot harder then she realized it was. And she also hated that helping her with Frankie had reminded Mike of Lucas, and Mike had gotten kind of quiet since he had mentioned his son. But he was still holding the sleeping baby, and Kara could tell by his face he was remembering holding his own baby boy. She had seen the girls walking across to Tom's that morning and then Tom running into Mike's house, she had texted Sasha and while Sasha was discreet, she did tell her that Mike had found out what Lucas' last hours were like and had a bit of a breakdown.

"Do you want me to take him? He hasn't slept like that in days…"

"Have you slept? I know Danny is at Fort Wood and your mom is away."

"Not much, sir. Between work and Frankie, no."

"Daddy, why doesn't Kara eat dinner with us, and then she can go home and sleep and Frankie will stay here with us…we'll help you with him!" Emma seemed thrilled with her idea and Kara could see Hannah brighten too, and even Mike had a small smile on his face.

"Oh no, sir. I couldn't ask you to do that, I appreciate the offer, Emma but I'm fine, really."

Mike could tell that Kara was exhausted and he doubted that she would be sleeping that night. He had watched Frankie several times, and even a time or two overnight, so he had a play pen in the garage that could be used as a crib, and both girls seemed really happy with the idea.

"It's not an offer, it's an order. You're exhausted and I've had a bit of a rough day, and Frankie is just the perfect cure. Hannah and I will finish supper while you go get his diaper bag, a sleeper and his formula and a bottle. Emma, you want to hold him? Go sit on the couch and I'll help you. Hannah, you'll have your turn after supper."

Kara could just laugh, there was no room for argument. Emma had practically skipped over to the couch and grabbed a pillow. She apparently knew enough about holding a baby to know she might need one, and Mike followed her with a still sleeping Frankie and was standing over the sitting Emma helping her position the pillow before he laid Frankie down.

"Hannah, are you okay with this? I know it's been a bad day, and I don't want to intrude. I think Frankie reminds your dad of your brother a little and I don't want to hurt him." Kara asked the young girl quietly.

"He's happy to help and it gives him something to concentrate on. It'll be fun to have him here, but just fair warning, I'm not changing any diapers! But would you care to French Braid my hair after supper? Might be easier to sleep."

Kara laughed and told her of course, she thought the world of both girls, they were both so sweet and so appreciative of everything. As she walked through the living room to go back to her house, she looked over at Mike and Emma and smiled. She had Frankie in her lap and he was still sleeping, while she looked at Mike as he was telling her something. Kara had grown up without a father and so watching Tom with Ashley and now Mike with his girls made her smile. If she and Danny ever had a little girl, she prayed that he had the same relationship with her. It was a beautiful thing to watch.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Supper was interesting to say the least, Frankie had woke up and Emma tried to feed him pancakes, which worried Kara and Mike had to reassure her that it would be okay, he would be changing the diaper anyway and he didn't much care. Frankie seemed to like it in any case. Kara would have always figured that dinners at Mike's house would be strict, but it was honestly a bit of a free-for-all. Hannah did okay feeding herself for the first part of the meal but then she tired out, and pushed her plate away, because she didn't want to ask to be fed especially since they had company. Mike was wise to the trick, and told her that Kara was not company but family and started feeding her. Hannah needed to eat to gain weight back, and Kara felt sorry for the girl. It also made her realize that Mike might need some help during mealtimes because his plate went untouched and the food got cold.

Kara helped Mike clean up the disaster of a kitchen and French braided both girls' hair. Mike told her he was trying to learn but he was all thumbs. The image of Mike braiding his daughters' hair made her laugh. One more thing the media couldn't get ahold of. Hannah was telling her about her old horse, Fruit Loop, and that she preferred to ride bareback, but Kara could tell from Mike's face, he was not a fan of that idea. Kara had horses growing up and told her that when she got better, she would love to take Hannah riding. She knew of a stable that she had gone riding a couple times, and it was only about thirty minutes away. Emma was scared of horses and so she was not interested in the idea at all. It was really a pleasure to spend the time with the girls and in reality Mike too. It gave her a whole different viewpoint on him.

Kara kissed Frankie goodnight and made Mike promise he would call if there were any problems, and hugged both girls. She knew Frankie was in good hands with Mike and she was not worried. She knew the day had been emotionally tough for the three very special people, and the fact that they would help her despite it, amazed her. They were truly a gift from God.

Mike would have never admitted it to Kara but he was a bit overwhelmed. He had to get hyper-active Emma settled down, Hannah needed her bandages changed, and Frankie situated. He could tell Hannah wanted to help him but her strength had completely been depleted. He would be lucky if she was able to walk up the stairs to her bedroom. Emma was too fidgety to be much assistance but he finally laid a quilt down on the floor and laid Frankie down on it, and Emma sit down on it with him to keep him from rolling off of it too far, and he ran up and got Hannah's bandaging. He normally changed them in her bedroom but tonight the couch would have to work, he just prayed it would be an easy one for her.

There was a little bit of pain but thankfully the blisters were healing well and there was no seepage. It surprised him but having her lay on the couch propped up with pillows and her feet on his lap was a little easier for him and she seemed a little more comfortable despite being in pain. He offered her some of the oral painkillers and she refused them. He hated seeing her in pain and trying to white knuckle it through it. Hannah was a lot stronger then him. Every time he changed her bandages, he especially hated seeing the scars on her feet, and knew there were others. He hoped that they would eventually disappear.

He fed Frankie, bathed him in the kitchen sink (which blew Emma's mind), and rocked him to sleep all while reading to both girls. He laid him down next to Hannah on the couch so he could set up the playpen in his bedroom and get Emma her bath and settled for the night. He hated it because he had barely spent any time with either girl, but they didn't seem to mind. He had looked in at Hannah and Frankie and she had him laid on her chest and both were sound asleep. It gave him a little time with Emma as he tucked her in, said her bedtime prayers with her and watched her drift off the sleep. It was especially cold out that night and so he put an extra blanket over her so she wouldn't get cold.

Mike gently picked Frankie up, trying not to wake either him or Hannah up, and while he was successful with Hannah, Frankie woke up for a brief minute and snuggled up to him and tried to eat his shirt. It made him a little sad, because Lucas had always done that too. When Frankie had been giving him kisses earlier, it had made him tear up just a bit. If Kara noticed, she hadn't said. He honestly didn't care if she noticed or not. He was tired of hiding the pain he felt from everyone. It honestly was just easier to not hide it. People seemed to understand it. He had set the playpen up at the end of his bed and laid Frankie down in it. The little boy was already back asleep and Mike shut the overhead light off but left the reading light on and went to tend to Hannah and lock up for the night.

"Hannah, wake up, baby girl."

"Uhh…did I drop Frankie? Where is he?"

"In my room, asleep. Come on, let's get you upstairs. Need me to carry you?"

"Maybe, I feel so tired, Daddy."

So Mike picked her up and carried her up the stairs. It had been a rough day for her and she was already back asleep before he got to her bedroom. He had got her bed ready for her after he had laid Frankie down and she had changed into fresh pajamas right after supper. She seemed to be in more pain then she was letting on and had woke up briefly when he laid her down, and cried out. He grabbed a glass of water from the bathroom and told her she was taking a pain pill period. He didn't want her in any pain. She grumbled a little but took the pill and washed it down with the water. He put her nasal cannula on her and turned the oxygen on as he as he could with the cannula; he didn't really want to put the mask on but would if he had to. The baby monitor was on and he tucked the blankets in under her chin, and kissed her forehead. It was just so hard to see her in so much pain, at least with Lucas; he knew he was not in pain now.

"Love you, Daddy!"

He thought she had already fallen back asleep and hadn't told her goodnight or that he loved her, but he bent back down and kissed her again, and whispered in her ear that he loved her too. He prayed as he walked out that she would have a peaceful night and that the pain pill would kick in soon.

Emma was sound asleep when he looked in on her and he readjusted her blankets. When he stepped into his room, Frankie was awake but looked like he could go back to sleep. He smiled at Mike and babbled at him. When his kids were babies, and would be awake in their cribs, Mike would rub their tummies until they fell back to sleep and it worked pretty quickly with Frankie.

Mike was emotionally spent; it had been an exhausting day. The anger had been confusing and had overshadowed everything, but now it was replaced with sadness. The bright side was that it allowed for memories of Lucas and Christine. Hannah had been right; neither of them would want him to be so sad. He changed into his pajama pants and t-shirt and laid down and was sound asleep within just a couple minutes. The sound of Frankie murmuring in his sleep, Hannah's concentrator and Emma's snoring lulled him very quickly.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Mike woke up at just after six am, and he could hear Frankie babbling and Hannah and Emma talking. The two girls were standing at the end of his bed, by the playpen, watching Frankie and when Emma looked up and saw that Mike was awake, she ran and jumped onto the bed with him and started tickling him. Hannah had come around to the other side and sat down beside him. He finally bear hugged Emma to make her stop, and looked towards Hannah. She was pretty pale and she seemed to be in some pain because her eyebrows were slightly creased. He tucked some hair behind her ear and felt for a fever, and was thankful there was not one. He could tell it was going to be a rough day for her.

"Do you want to lay down in here for a bit while I get ready? I'm not sure what time Mallory will be here. You might as well rest up." She nodded and more or less just kind of collapsed onto the pillows next to him. Emma was still laying on top of him with one of his arms around her just watching them. She had always been more of a cuddler than either of his other two kids, and he didn't mind it.

"Emma, do you want to stay in here with your sister and Frankie? Don't get him out of the playpen. I won't be too long, I promise…what do you want for breakfast, your choice?"

"French toast? And yea, I'll stay in here. Can I go get my drawing book though?" He nodded yes, and she jumped off of him, but not before kneeing him in a pretty sensitive area. He must have gasped, because Hannah's eyes popped open.

"Are you okay? What did she do?"

"Don't worry about it, what's going on with you? Not feeling good, or just wore out from yesterday? "

"Dad, you and I discussed this…I want my dad, not my caretaker. I am tired from yesterday, and I know its stupid to tell you not to worry but don't worry. I just get tired easy. Now, please go in and take your shower. I think I can smell you!"

It served as a reminder to Mike to stop stressing so much about Hannah's physical needs and focus on her emotional needs. He covered her up with the blanket and checked on Frankie, who had gone back to sleep. Emma came in with her drawing pad and pencils and he gestured at her to be quiet. The kid was like a bull in a china closet normally but today she just nodded at him and sat down on the floor by the dresser.

He showered and shaved quickly, because he was worried about how the girls would handle it, if Frankie woke up. Hannah had apparently woke up and Emma and her were sitting up against his pillows propped up on the headboard looking at Emma's pictures.

"Oh, good you don't smell anymore except for your stinky aftershave. Can I have bacon with the French toast?" Hannah looked at him completely serious. He wasn't even sure how to answer her, other than to jump on the bed next to her and start tickling her, which caused Emma to jump in the middle of them and start tickling Mike. And Hannah had joined in with her. They were all three laughing, and Mike knew then, they would be okay. There were huge obstacles, yet to tackle. But he would be okay, because his girls were okay. He kissed both girls on the top of their heads and told them they could stay in his room. Frankie was back awake and was starting to fuss a bit, and he knew Kara would be at his door wanting her baby back soon.

He was regretting his decision to babysit Frankie when he had to change the little boy's diaper. How had he forgot about this part? The girls had come down stairs but were steering clear of Mike and Frankie. Both their noses were wrinkled up. Mike finally just decided it would be easier to bathe the little boy again, and he didn't particularly want to use the kitchen sink, so he carried him back up to his room and the bathroom. He wasn't exactly set up to give a baby a bath and had no toys, but Frankie seemed thrilled to just splash around while Mike held him up so that he wouldn't slip into the bathwater, he was soaked.

Tom wanted to check on both girls and Mike before he started his day. He hadn't planned on taking the day before off but when he briefly explained to President Oliver about what happened to Mike, he understood and told Tom that if he needed to do that again, it would be fine. The door was still locked and he hadn't brought his key with him, Emma opened the door for him, without even checking in the side window before slinging the door open and giving him a huge smile. He knew Mike wouldn't be happy with that, but also didn't feel right about taking it up with him, so he had to gently remind both girls not to just open the door.

"Girls, I just came over to check on you and your dad, but you have to be careful opening this door. At least look outside before you open it so you know if it's someone you know. Your dad is pretty famous now, and he has made some enemies. It would absolutely destroy him if something happened to either of you. Promise me? I don't mean to be mean to you about it, I love you both too, but I can't watch your dad go through this again."

Both girls nodded at him, and he knew he had gotten through to them. Hannah looked a little pale and drawn and was pretty quiet, but Emma was bouncing around like normal. They told them that they had watched Frankie overnight and he was stinky so Mike was giving him a bath. As Tom headed up the stairs he could hear Mike talking to Frankie, and Frankie babbling back at him and splashing water.

"Come on Frankie, lets get you out of here. Your clean now and I'm soaked. I know its fun but I have breakfast to cook and I need to clean this bathtub before Hannah has her bath and your momma is gonna be here soon. " Mike had picked the baby out of the bathtub and the little boy promptly grabbed Mike by both ears and kissed his nose.

"I remember Lucas doing that too, Darian and I had kept the kids for you and Christine one weekend while you went on your anniversary trip. He was probably six or seven months old, and you all had been introducing new foods and the kid had some pretty explosive diapers. Darian had ran to the store, and so it left me to clean him up…my solution was the same as yours. Throw him in the bathtub. Anyway, he would grab me like that, and give me those big, sloppy, wet kisses."

Tom hadn't meant to hurt Mike but when he looked up, he could see the tears in his eyes. But he was also smiling at Frankie, so Tom knew Mike was happy to hear the memory. And then all of a sudden, Mike burst out laughing.

"Did Lucas pee on you too? Cause Frankie just did. Jeez, I'm too old for this crap!" He was laughing so hard that the tears were rolling, but he handed Frankie over to Tom with a towel to dry him off. Tom laid the baby down on Mike's bed and was handed a diaper and a onesie, and looked over at Mike, who's shirt was completely soaked in bathwater and baby pee. Mike walked over to the dresser to change shirts while Tom attempted to put the diaper and onesie on. Frankie was kind of wiggly and was still a little wet and had managed to get flopped over on his belly and was attempting to crawl across the bed, but his bare butt was up in the air because Frankie hadn't quite gotten the concept of crawling yet. Mike had gone around to the other side of the bed to try and catch Frankie and both men were hawling in laughter, Mike had not managed to get his shirt back on because containing Frankie seemed more important, so he was standing there shirtless.

Kara had come over to get her son, and Emma had let her inside, and a minute or so later Sasha came over, wanting to also check on Mike and his girls. Both women talked to the two girls for a minute when they heard the laughter from Mike's room. Hannah explained to them that Frankie had a gross diaper and Mike decided it would be easier to just bathe him, Mallory came in, mid conversation, also concerned about Mike until they heard him laughing upstairs.

All three women, very quietly crept up the stairs and around the corner to Mike's bedroom. Sasha snapped a picture with her phone, and then the women started laughing hysterically. The baby was trying his best to crawl over to Mike, with his naked butt sticking up in the air. Mike had knelt down by the bed, trying to get Frankie to come to him, all while Tom was almost doubled over in laughter. Neither of them realized that the women were standing there, until Frankie finally made his way to Mike, and Mike stood back up with the naked baby in his arms, and was not wearing a shirt. Again, not something the media needed to get ahold of.

"Why is the baby naked, and where is your shirt, Mike?" Mallory asked him.

"Well I had to give him a bath because his diaper was a disaster, and I was trying to dry him off, and then Tom had distracted me, and Frankie peed all over me. So I handed him to Tom and apparently Tom doesn't know how to put a diaper on a baby because Frankie got away from him and I had only taken off the wet shirt off…good enough explanation,ladies?"

Kara was struggling not to laugh at her boss, but took her son out of his arms, which caused Frankie to start fussing until he realized it was his mom holding him. Mike had grabbed a t-shirt and threw it on, because while he was very muscular, and most women didn't mind taking a second look at him, he was modest, and that was not something he was ready for, especially since 2 out of the women in the room worked for him and the third was essentially working for him, except she wouldn't accept money. Everyone agreed to go downstairs to give Mike a moment to resituate himself, and to get the bathtub cleaned up for Mallory and Hannah's use. Kara had grabbed the onesie and diaper and dodged into Emma's room to get Frankie dressed.

Five minutes later, Mike finally came downstairs. Sasha had started breakfast for the girls and Mallory was checking Hannah's vitals. Her blood pressure and pulse were a little higher than what she was comfortable with, and Mallory told her that once her bath and breakfast were done, Hannah was to stay in bed and relax. He knew that if he had suggested it, Hannah would have vetoed the idea but since Mallory did, she was okay with it. It did cause him to resent the nurse just a bit, but he also knew that it was important that Hannah not get upset with him when he tried to take care of her. The lines between caretaker and dad got blurred pretty easily. In Mallory's own way, she was trying to help Mike just be Hannah's dad, because that was all she wanted.

Breakfast ended up being an even bigger free-for-all then the night before had been. Tom and Sasha had decided to stay over and "help" and Kara and Frankie were still there, Emma was bouncing off the walls. They had decided to give Hannah her bath while breakfast was prepared and she would just eat it when she got done. Only issue was that Hannah couldn't walk up the stairs, so Mike ended up carrying her up to the bathroom. Kara had decided to help with the bath and bandage change, so that if Mike needed help, she could help and not make Hannah uncomfortable with her dad having to give her a bath. Mike didn't like the idea of having to do it, but he would if he had too, but it made him happy that both Kara and Sasha had said they would be happy to help. He knew there would be times that both girls would need help from a woman and to have so many friends willing to give him that? It made him tear up just a bit.

The bandage change was a little painful for Hannah and Mallory was going to have to drain one of the blisters. Mike had gone downstairs with Frankie and was trying to contain Emma during breakfast when Kara hollered for him to come upstairs. Hannah didn't want any pain medicine and Kara wasn't strong enough to hold the girl down and so Mike was the only option. What happened next, made Kara's heart break. She had always pictured Mike as a bit of a hard-ass but her views had changed, first with the way he dealt with his grieving crew, and then with her own son. But seeing him holding Hannah was just heartbreaking.

Mike had gone and gotten Hannah's oxygen tank and the mask because she was already having trouble breathing. After that was hooked up and the young girl's face was covered with the mask, Mike pulled her onto his lap and started rocking her gently, much the same way Kara might rock Frankie, he was softly singing a lullaby to her, it was one that Kara often sang to Frankie. She could see the tears rolling down Hannah's face and could see the tears in Mike's eyes. When she looked at Hannah's feet, she saw the scars along with the blisters. While bathing her, she had seen the scars on Hannah's back, underarms and behind her knees.

Hannah had let out a cry that could be heard around the mask, when Mallory got the blister drained. But what shocked Mallory and Kara was that Mike had groaned in pain too. Hannah had scratched his arms with her fingernails in pain. The young girl realized that she had hurt her dad and started sobbing, which only caused her breathing to get more labored. Mike was trying to comfort Hannah while Mallory finished the bandaging, and not get blood everywhere. Kara didn't know what else to do other than to grab some gauze and tape and use it on Mike's free arm to bandage it.

It was so sad. Mallory ended up giving Hannah a sedative to calm her down and help with the pain. It surprised that Kara that Mallory had just walked to Mike's dresser and grabbed the preloaded syringe off a handmade dish. It was odd that Mike would have a preloaded syringe like that, but then Mallory quietly explained to her and Mike that she had loaded it the day before in case Mike needed to be sedated a second time. Mike didn't seem to care that Kara knew that he was sedated. His only concern was Hannah. It didn't take long for her to get calmed down and start breathing at a regular rate. Mike looked like he had been in a fight though. Besides the deep scratches on his arms, Hannah had elbowed him in the cheek, his nose was bleeding and he was holding his side. Hannah hadn't meant to hurt him and they all knew when she woke up, she would feel horribly about the bruises. Mallory finished bandaging Mike up, and decided he had a cracked rib from Hannah elbowing him. He wouldn't go to the hospital though.

Kara went downstairs to give Mike some privacy. She had offered to take Emma home with her, but Mike refused. She had never felt so heartbroken after witnessing the bandaging. She prayed that Mike and both girls got some relief soon. She would have never been able to watch Frankie go through anything like Hannah was going through, and it gave her a whole new respect for Mike.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

It was the worse day Hannah had had since she got home from the hospital, originally he had refused when Kara offered to take Emma home with her, but Emma had come upstairs and begged him to let her go, and while Mike believed she was probably being put up to it by Tom and possibly Sasha and Kara, he was grateful. He hated the fact that he was constantly pushing Emma to a backburner. He knew she would eventually resent him for it, but he had to concentrate on Hannah's needs, and he knew Emma would be well taken care of and loved. If he couldn't be the one to take care of her and love her, he had to agree to allow other people do it.. He felt horribly about the whole situation, but Emma seemed thrilled to get out of the house for the day. Tom had come upstairs and told him the plan was, he would take Emma to the park for a couple hours to kick around the soccer ball, Kara would have her for part of the afternoon and they were going to hang around the office and if he needed anything to call. If Emma needed to stay the night at either house, Tom or Sasha would come over and get her clothes later in the evening.

Despite being sedated, Hannah wasn't resting well and seemed to be in a lot of pain. Mallory told him to stay with her in case her breathing become more labored and to keep an eye on vitals. She had updated Rios in case Mike ended up taking her back to the hospital. In one of her more lucid moments, Hannah had begged to stay home. Finally his house was empty other than he and Hannah. He missed the constant chatter and noise that Emma contributed because other than the sounds of the oxygen machine and Hannah's breathing, it was too quiet.

How was he going to deal with this when it was time to go back to work? Hannah's feet would eventually heal, but her lungs would cause her issues for the rest of her life. She would never be able to work outside in the cold, would never be able to do anything strenuous, would be more prone to pneumonia, and Rios had told Mike that it could eventually cause cardiac problems. Her heart had stopped for a full 7 minutes and all lifesaving measures had been stopped when God decided to step in and start Hannah's heart back. Mike was all too aware of how close he came to losing a second child. Rios didn't have the heart to tell Mike but he knew that there was a possibility that Hannah would not reach an old age. Mike just prayed that he wouldn't live to see that.

It was a miracle that Tom had found Mike's girls, and Mike thanked God everyday for that miracle, he didn't feel right asking God for anything else. His mom had taught Sunday School and his upbringing had been a strict Baptist one. Mike had dealt with the dirtier side of life since he become a cop and he had strayed further and further away from his faith, which had agitated his mom to no end. Christine had not had a religious upbringing so it was up to Mike to infuse religion into their children's lives. When he was home from deployments, he would make sure the three kids and he went to church every Sunday. When news of the Red Flu broke and he was trapped on the Nathan James, knowing Lucas was dead, and not knowing if his wife and daughters were alive…he had a lot of time to question God. And again, when they were evading the Immunes, when he was a prisoner in Takehaya's camp, when he looked for Christine and his girls…he questioned God. But in the last week and a half, he had a peace that he knew only God would be able to give him.

Mike knew he couldn't completely rely on his friends to help with his girls. Sure, they wanted to, but it was wrong to ask for that kind of help. He knew Kara's heart had broke watching Hannah and him that morning, and he knew she would be discreet and not tell the rest of the crew or office about it, but it made him hurt for the young woman. Tom and Sasha were older and Tom was all too aware of what Hannah's back, feet,legs and underarms looked like, he had been in the hospital room when they cleaned her up and from what Mike understood Tom had almost gotten sick. They had a maturity that Kara hadn't quite achieved yet.

Hannah finally woke up about noon and was starving. They agreed that Mike would carry her to her own bedroom, and she would spend the rest of the day there, and he would fix some of Bacon's chicken soup for her. It was the only thing that sounded good to her. He could tell she was in misery, so much so that she agreed to another pain shot after lunch. Mallory had told him that she could have another one after about one and after she had ate. She had not expressed much pain throughout the last week and so it hurt him to see her like this, and what hurt more was knowing that it could be a lifelong battle for her.

He had brought her lunch in on a food tray that Sasha had lent him and he had to help her sit up in bed because she was too weak to. As he was gently pulled her up in the bed, she hugged him and said, "I am so, so, sorry that you have to do all this, maybe it would have been better if I had just died in the hospital, Emma was safe then, it might have been better for her and you both."

"Don't you ever say that again, don't think it either. Emma and I would have not been better off if you had died. I love you, and yes, I hate what you're going through, and yes, I blame myself for it, but not in a million years, do I ever wish you had died, so I didn't have to take care for you. If I have to do exactly this for the rest of my life, if I have to retire, if I have to spend a fortune making sure you have the care you need…I will never wish that you had died. I love you. I have already lost your brother and your mother, and I cannot lose you. I know that the future you had before the Plague is all but gone, and we may have to revamp your education and Emma's future maybe impacted too, but I think she will agree with me, neither of us would have been better off if you had died. And you're Uncle Tom would have beat himself up too, that he didn't get you to the hospital soon enough, and Father Matthew and Sister Grace…you are loved by so many people. So don't you dare ever think like that again. I'm serious, Hannah, I never want to hear that again."

"Daddy, when I said I wanted you to be my dad and not my caretaker, I also meant I didn't want you to be the Navy Captain. You sounded like that just then too. And I promise, I won't say it again. Can't stop me from thinking it though."

Mike nodded at her, because he knew she was right. He couldn't stop her from thinking it and in reality, couldn't stop her from saying it either, but he could make sure she knew that he didn't agree with the statement. It did make him realize though, that if she was thinking it, Emma might be too. He sit down next to her, and began spoon feeding the soup to her. She had gotten pretty quiet and at one point reached out and touched the bruise on his cheek.

"I hate that I hurt you. I don't really remember doing that or scratching your arms either, and you keep holding your side. Did I hurt your ribs or something? "

Mike could tell she was deeply troubled by his various bruises and scratches but decided to lighten the mood. She needed to not worry about him.

"Nope, you didn't. One of the guys is getting married this weekend and his bachelor party was last night, I was only supposed to be the designated driver but they needed help because they got into it with a bunch of Army guys, somehow I ended up in the middle of it. Least I didn't end up in jail! "

He knew she didn't believe his tale but she started laughing anyways, which caused him to start laughing, which caused his ribs to hurt. But her laugh was like music to his ears.

After lunch, he helped her lay back down in the bed, put the oxygen back on and when she asked him to read to her after the pain shot was given, he happily agreed. He had only gotten through the first page when she fell asleep. Instead of tidying up the house, or do the mountain of laundry that had accumulated, he sit on her window seat and watched her sleep. He felt it was time for another letter for all three kids. He hadn't figured out what to do with Lucas' but it just felt right to write one.

" _Hannah,_

 _It worries me, that you think you would be better off dead. I know it may seem like I can't get out of the "Navy captain" or "caretaker" mindset but I truly love taking care of you. I hope there comes a day where you can feed yourself, bathe yourself, and can be a normal fourteen year old, but for the time being, I love this time with you, I just don't love the fact that you are hurting so bad._

 _I am so proud of your strength, and it inspires a lot more people than just me. Uncle Tom, Sasha, Kara, Mallory, Emma…all people besides me that you've inspired. You are an amazing young woman._

 _I know you're not feeling good right now, and it would be hard, but I would love to hear you playing your violin again. If you need me to hold it, I will. I just love hearing it._

 _I love you,_

 _Daddy"_

He laid her letter down on her nightstand so that she would see it when she woke up. Mallory had brought her glasses with her that morning, and he set them on top of the letter.

" _Emma,_

 _Your energy, your spirit, your smile, your heart…all amazing. I don't like the fact that I have spent so little time with you, and I still haven't forgiven myself for what happened the other day when you were pouring that milk. I will never forget the look on your face. But the way you instantly forgave me…just amazing._

 _I hate to keep promising you stuff when I haven't been able to do it, because Hannah has had so many hard days, I haven't been able to take you to the park, and have spent very little time with you. However, there are no shortage of people who are begging me to spend time with you. I know you really want some one on one time with me, and I will see what I can do to make that happen._

 _You remind me so much of your mom. She lit up every room she walked into and was completely selfless. A lot like you!_ _It's a reminder I need, especially right now, with things with Hannah being a little hopeless…you give me hope, sweetheart._

 _I love you,_

 _Daddy"_

" _Lucas,_

 _I know now, what your last hours were like. I pray it that you've found some peace. Hannah tells me you are watching over me…what you be thinking now? Would you be proud of me or what you want me to be doing something different? I definitely want you to continue watching me and your sisters._

 _My last letter to you was so angry and I apologize for that…I told you I wasn't angry at you for dying, but maybe I was a little? In any case, I am not so angry now. Hannah told me in a note about your last moments and that you dreamed that I was there with you. I hope that provided you some sort of peace and comfort. I was never the parent that was very comforting, but for some reason, it was me you dreamed about so all I can do is hope it helped you._

 _I do still love you,_

 _Dad"_

As with his earlier set of letters, those made him emotional. But it was still better than the anger he had felt. If anyone ever read the letters to Lucas, they would probably think he was crazy, but there was something oddly comforting about writing them. He wrote the letters to the girls because things needed to be said to them and his communication skills were sometimes a little lacking, but where Lucas was concerned, it was almost like Lucas was sitting next to him as he was writing to him, and it felt good. Pretty strange but he didn't care. It was almost like Lucas's presence followed him around at times, but it didn't bother him.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Hannah woke up feeling much better and even was able to walk herself to the bathroom. Mike stood close to the door but he knew she wanted privacy. She had read his letter and gave him a huge hug and even a smile. She did need to be carried down the stairs but she was able to reposition herself when he sit her down in the recliner. She asked for her violin, and he questioned it because she was so weak. She insisted, she wanted to make her dad happy.

Somehow Danny, Wolf, Miller and Burke ended up on "Emma" duty. They had taken her to the zoo that had just reopened, she had watched Danny train Halsey and played with Halsey's puppies. She was convinced she needed a puppy and had even picked out the runt of the litter, a young female German Shepherd named Molly. Emma had tried to convince him that Mike wouldn't care if they just brought Molly home with them, but Danny was not about to open that can of worms. He had only just gotten home from Fort Wood that afternoon, he didn't want to make the CNO mad, because even though Mike was on a leave of absence, he could still make his life miserable.

Miller didn't apparently realize that cotton candy and snow cones had an abundance of sugar in them, and Emma had ate a ton of both items, and now had a stomachache. They had planned on keeping her longer but wisely decided to take Emma back to her father, maybe Mike would have some weird cure for too much sugar. At least she was not bouncing off the walls. Mike was practically a genius when it came to parenting issues and Danny was looking forward to having his help with Frankie, he just had to survive bringing Emma who had just thrown up all over Burke, back to the man. Mike still scared all four men just a little, and they all knew that he was fiercely protective of his daughters.

As they walked up the sidewalk, with vomit-covered Burke carrying Emma, they all heard violin music. Kara had told them to not bothering knocking, to just announce themselves as they walked in. As they walked in, Mike was sitting on the coffee table knee-to-knee with Hannah and was holding her violin while she handled the bow. They had apparently not heard the four men walk in and quite honestly no one said a word. Even Emma was watching them, despite still not feeling better.

When the song ended, Wolf and Miller both clapped a little. Burke shifted Emma around because he didn't want her to get sick all over him again, and Danny was shocked. This was not at all how he pictured the CNO.

"What the hell is wrong with Emma? She was perfectly healthy when she left this morning, now she looks absolutely horrible." Mike had sit the violin down and had stood up and crossed the living room in 3 steps, the poor girl was not her usual vibrant self and when he held out his hands to her, she instantly jumped into his arms. Burke was okay, but her daddy was a much better option.

"Um, well, uh, She had a bit too much sugar. Captain Chandler warned me that her stomach was still sensitive, but she was having such a good time, and said she loved cotton candy, and I didn't realize just how much sugar was in a snow cone, let alone three of them." Miller had made sure that Danny was between them when he said it, Mike's temper was pretty legendary, but all four men were shocked when Mike just laughed. The vomit that was covering both Emma, Burke and now Mike didn't even seem to phase him.

"But I had lots of fun, daddy. I got to see the giraffes and kangaroos at the zoo, but I didn't like the snakes and spiders there. And Lietunant Greene showed me Halsey's new puppies, can I have one? There is one, her name is Molly, and she is the runt, so she cant really work like Halsey because her leg is hurt. I don't know what will happen to her but I need a dog. What will happen to Molly since she can't work?"

"Oh you need a dog, huh? " Mike choose not to tell her that the puppy would most likely be put down, he was going to play the game, but his mind had already been made up, Emma was going to get a puppy. She had asked for so few things, and honestly Mike didn't mind the idea of a dog. It would be something that was totally Emma's, he just wasn't going to tell her that yet.

Mike had instructed Burke to go clean up. He knew that Burke, Wolf and Miller had a wild night planned out, going to whatever bar had the cutest girls. He could put on one of his shirts if he needed. Burke started to argue when Mike firmly but quietly said, "Trust me on this one, having a nine year old's techno-colored vomit all over your shirt, is not a good way to try and get laid." None of them even wanted to ask Mike if he had personal experience on the subject, but Burke did run up the stairs to grab a shirt and wash the vomit off the side of his neck.

All while this was going on, Wolfe had walked over to Hannah and picked up her violin. He had sit down beside her and helped her prop the violin under her chin as Mike had done. They were talking about Bach and all kinds of other composers and Wolf was telling her about a chord that she hadn't learned yet. She handed the violin to him, so he could show her how to do it. It was a huge shock to see big muscular Wolf handling a child sized violin and bow, but Hannah was beyond thrilled to have help. Miller had said something about snapping a picture of Wolf playing but it only took one look from Mike to shut the idea down. They could tell how happy Hannah was, and although generally pretty serious, Wolf had a huge smile on his face.

"My mum made me take violin lessons at the same time as my Martial Arts lessons, she felt it was was important that I have a little more culture than what Martial Arts provided, what she didn't plan on was the fact that I would like it almost as much as fighting. I still play violin, mostly to relax. Had I not joined the Australian Navy, I would have ended up in the Australian equavilent of Julliard."

Even Mike was shocked at that revelation, he would have never guessed it, but an idea occurred to him, there were very few people that he would trust his very sick daughter with, and Wolf was on the short list, she would need further lessons in violin, especially since it was one of the few things she could still do, and Wolf had an abundance of patience with the sick child.

"Wolf, if you're willing, would you want to give Hannah lessons, her old violin teacher had tried to convince her mom and I to send her to Julliard but we felt she was too young. Now her circumstances are a lot different and you would have to come here to give her lessons, and might have to hold the violin from time to time. If you don't want to, I certainly understand…"

"Of course, sir. I am probably at about the same level as she is, but if nothing else we could just practice together. I have all of Mondays off, and the afternoons on Thursdays. Would an hour on each of those days work, say at 1400?"

Mike couldn't help but notice how big Hannah's smile was, she was intrigued by the idea. He wouldn't care how often Wolf decided to come over, Hannah was thrilled with the idea. They agreed on the time and days. Tom had told him that Wolf had asked him how he could help Mike, and this was a perfect solution.

Mike had cleaned up Emma, while talking to Wolf, all while giving her a glass of grape juice and telling her to drink it slow. She was sitting on the countertop and was looking brighter.

"Sir, if I may ask, grape juice? With an upset stomach, is that a good idea?" Danny asked him, he was amazed at how good at multi-tasking Mike was. He was still having trouble learning how to change Frankie's diaper and talk on the phone at the same time.

"It will restore the ph balance in her stomach. The sugar upset the balance and it has a chemical in it that is good for that. Although, fair warning, if she vomits again before the stomach settles, Miller is coming back over to clean it up. Its not pleasant. Remember Danny, pineapple juice is a natural antibiotic and chilled, it is good for a sore throat, heated apple juice also helps with that too."

Hannah had finished the glass and while still looking a little rough, had returned to her normal cheerful self. She ran upstairs to change clothes and brush her teeth. It gave Mike a chance to arrange for Molly's safety until she was weaned. He didn't want there to be any possibility of Danny putting the puppy down. Molly did have a hurt hip, which meant she couldn't be a breeder and couldn't be a work dog, so with food being at a premium, she was just a mouth to feed, and would be put down, unless Danny was able to get her adopted and Emma was the perfect candidate. Hannah even seemed excited about the idea but agreed to keep it a secret.

The four men left and it was just Mike and the two girls. Hannah fell asleep again, and even though Emma was tired from her day, he could tell she was wanting some one on one time with Mike, but didn't want to ask for it. That was her way, she was entirely too selfless to ask for anything for herself, and it had shocked him when she expressed an interest in having a dog, but even that, it was like she was a little afraid to ask for.

He had a thousand things he could be doing, but Emma had fallen asleep on his lap and while he could have easily moved her off, he wanted her to wake with him still holding her, if at all possible. He knew that her various sitters had showered her with attention and love, but for a change he needed to be the one, giving her time. Hannah had woke up but told him to stay put, she knew that Mike felt like he was neglecting the younger girl. She was able to walk herself to the first floor powder room and even was able to get herself a glass of water. Mike watched every move she made, or at least the ones that he could. It just felt good to hold his baby girl.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Emma finally woke up about four, and when she realized Mike was still holding her, she sit still for a bit. It felt good to have her dad holding her. She would never tell him, but she did wish Hannah wasn't quite so sick so he could spend more time with her. She kind of wished they could take a time out together, but didn't know how to suggest it, without upsetting him. She knew that Hannah was still having a bad time and her dad was so scared of losing her, he wasn't so scared of losing Emma.

Mike knew Emma had woke up but could tell she was being just a bit clingy, so he let her be. He hadn't spent nearly enough time with her, but Hannah's needs were always on the forefront. Emma had told him on multiple occasions that she was fine, but right now, her body language was telling him different. She hadn't realized she had done it, but when she woke up, she had put her small hand over his and held onto it. He finally kissed her on top of the head, acknowledging that he knew she was awake. She jumped of his lap and sit down on the other side of the couch. She smiled at him, but Mike could tell the smile was a bit of an act.

"You ok, sweetie? You seem a bit off, worn out from today? "

"I'm okay, I just heard Rick tell Carlton that Molly would probably have to die because of her leg, and it's not fair, its not her fault she can't work or have babies. Why does God have to be so mean sometimes?"

Emma had huge crocodile tears in her eyes, she was the kid that tried to save hurt birds, and got mad when Mike used worms to fish with. Mike still wanted to maintain the surprise of giving Molly to her but also had to calm Emma's heart. If Emma had one failure it was that she was a little too sensitive and her big heart would eventually cause her a lot of hurt. He loved that about her, but he could see it causing her a lot of pain in the future.

"Emma, I don't know. There is a possibility that some nice little girl or boy will end up with Molly. Danny won't put her down until he absolutely has not choice. Want to help me with dinner?"

Emma agreed but he could tell her mind was on the puppy and whatever else was bothering her. He had to spend some time alone with her, in the very near future. He had attempted to tuck her in every night, and did what he could to have a few minutes here and there with her, but Hannah was generally always in the next room, needing something. Mike would never resent Hannah for needing help, but he knew that Emma, while she would never admit it, was beginning to resent Hannah and Mike.

He would talk to Mallory and see if she could stay with Hannah for the day the next chance he had. She had been adamant to him that if he needed help to ask. He would trust most all of his friends with Emma, but Hannah was a different story. Her health was so precarious and he knew that Emma would not forgive herself if Hannah had an issue and it wasn't properly handled while her and Mike had an outing.

What he didn't realize was that Hannah was also conspiring to get him and Emma out of the house, she had already spoke privately with Mallory and Mallory was planning on spending the next day with her so Mike and Emma could go out. They decided not to say anything on the chance that something fell apart and Mike needed to stay with Hannah. The other part of her plan was that Mallory would be spending the evening and possibly the night with them so that Mike could have some time to himself during the evening. She needed Tom for that part of the plan though because she knew her dad would never leave voluntarily. Sasha had come over with four more containers of chicken soup from Bacon, and while Mike went to switch laundry from the washer to the dryer, she let Sasha in on her plan. There was little to no hope of getting Tom over to her house so she could talk to him privately. Sasha would pass everything along and have Tom come up with some excuse that he needed Mike at work, and instead take him out to dinner and drinks.

Dinner was a pretty quiet affair, Hannah still wasn't feeling well, and Emma was just not her cheerful self, and at times was downright temperamental. Mike had to feed Hannah and so his own dinner went untouched. When he wasn't helping Hannah, he was having to scold Emma, which he hated doing. He had made her favorite vanilla pudding for dessert but she didn't even want it, instead asking to be excused, so she could go get ready for bed. When Mike told her that he would come upstairs and tuck her in, she told him not to bother, because he was too busy with Hannah and she would be fine. The words stung Mike deeply. He started to give her a hug, but she scooted away from him which hurt even more.

By the time he had Hannah situated in her own bed, bandages changed and falling asleep, Emma had already gone to sleep. When he bent down to kiss her, he noticed her face was wet from tears which meant she had cried herself to sleep. The letter he had wrote her sit on top of her desk, still untouched. It broke Mike's heart to see Emma hurting, and know that in large part, he was the cause of it.

Thankfully the night went smoothly and all three of them slept well. Emma wasn't competly herself but she was at least smiling and Hannah seemed to have a good start to the day. He made Emma's favorite breakfast, but she didn't seem too interested in it, and went straight back to her room when she was finished picking at it. Mike was becoming really worried about his youngest daughter. She never passed up her favorite foods, and was always so happy that seeing her like this stressed him out. Hannah seemed to sense his concern and tried to do everything on her own.

Mallory came in at about 8:30, with a large tote bag in hand. He was a little surprised, but she quietly explained to him that she would be spending the day with Hannah. Hannah had asked her to stay with her so that Mike could spend some time with just Emma. Mike offered to pay her and Mallory told him it was her day off now, and she would much rather spend it with Hannah then at home alone in her apartment. He could sense some loneliness in the young woman's eyes, but choose not to remark on it. The young woman had been a godsend to him, and if staying with his very sick daughter gave her some comfort, well, Mike would let her help as much as possible. He trusted her with Hannah's care, partly because of her training but also because Hannah loved her.

Emma was laying on her bed with her door halfway open, working on some drawing. Mike had no clue what they were doing that day, but he did know he was going to get her out of the house and try not to worry about Hannah. Mallory had promised she would call if there were any issues but to not worry and to focus totally on the nine year old. He walked in, walked to her closet and got her coat, hat, scarf and gloves. Emma was watching him, not quite sure what he was doing.

"Come on, let's get this stuff on. You, me, go!"

Emma's smile was huge, and as he buttoned her coat and zipped it, she questioned what they were doing, and he shrugged, and let her know that it was entirely up to her. He could tell her mind was spinning with ideas as he helped her with the scarf and hat. The gloves were a little big for her tiny hands, and he knew he was going to have to at least stop by and get her a pair of gloves. Hannah and Mallory were mid bath, and he hollered that they were headed out, but asked how the feet looked. Mallory let him know that they looked perfect and to have a good time.

Mike was thankful he had bought a full sized double cabbed truck, and he quickly had Emma buckled in safely. She hadn't stopped smiling, and her smile was pretty infectious.

"So, where to first? The only stop I am going to ask to make is the store to get you some gloves that fit better, otherwise the day is all yours."

"Can we go see Molly? You'll just love her, please…"

He couldn't tell the little girl no, he was still not letting on that as soon as she was weaned, Molly would be coming home with them. He texted Danny to let him know that they were on their way, and to please not let on that Emma was going to be the little girl who got to take Molly home eventually. Emma chattered the entire drive, kicking her legs against his seat. He could see in rear view mirror, that she hadn't stopped smiling.

The little girl skipped into the barn that housed the service dogs, hand in hand with her dad. Mike was having trouble keeping up with her and when they got to the stall that housed Molly, her siblings and her mom, Molly was practically shaking with excitement. Danny was waiting on them and picked the puppy up and brought her out for Emma to play with, away from the siblings and she immediately sit down on the floor and Molly ran straight to her. Mike could see the puppy limping very slightly, and knew that despite the limp she would be an amazing companion for Emma.

They spent an hour at the barn, and then Emma asked to go see her Uncle Tom. The two of them had a special bond. He knew Tom was in meetings, but when he texted, Tom told him to bring her by, he had a fifteen minute window. What Tom forgot to mention was that the President would also be there. But, thankfully, the President didn't seem to mind the chattery nine year old. In fact, it seemed like he quite enjoyed her. He had not had a chance to meet Emma and Emma had all but ignored Tom when she realized she had a captive audience with the President. They talked about Molly and the fact that she "needed" a dog, her drawings and several other things. Emma promised that she would draw a picture for the President's office, and when Tom acted hurt that he didn't have one, she crossed her arms over her chest and told him, she guessed she could draw him one when she had time. Kate had walked in with coffee for the three men and a hot chocolate for Emma, and bursted out laughing at that. Mike finally decided to allow the two men get back to what they had to talk about. Tom had told him he would fill him in later and to enjoy his time with Emma. She gave Tom and the President a huge hug.

It was lunch time, and Emma decided she wanted pasta. It was something he had tried to stay away from due to the sauces. He just hoped that it didn't upset her stomach but he couldn't tell her no. There was a pottery studio next door to the restarant and she painted Mike a new coffee cup. Pottery was not Mike's thing, but Emma was so selfless, even trying to make her day about him. He had gotten several hugs throughout the day. He knew he was going to have to make "Emma days" a more regular occurrence. As she finished up Mike's coffee cup, she decided that since Tom was drinking his coffee out of a plastic cup, he needed one too, so Mike helped her with a second coffee cup, painting it a dark blue with "Uncle Tom" etched on it. He knew that Tom would treasure the cup and would probably never actually use it, but he wouldn't tell his sweet young daughter that.

The rest of the afternoon was spent going to the store and getting Emma new gloves. Her hands were so tiny, and he finally found a pair in the toddler section. It did hurt him a little that she was so tiny. She had always been a little small for her age, and had inherited Christine's tiny frame and now with being severely malnourished, she was actually the size of a five year old. He had also bought her a soccer ball of her own, and they went to the park to kick it around. All in all, it was a great day. Mike was a little worried about Hannah, but was determined to focus on Emma, and he knew that Hannah was in very capable hands. He got her another hot chocolate and him a coffee and they sit in the park on a bench and drank them. He knew it was time to go home, but he was honestly wanting to prolong the day.

"You know, Emma, we can do this again. I know you are having trouble not being jealous of Hannah right now, even if you won't admit it. You are an amazing little girl, and I have definitely been neglecting you, trying to care for Hannah. It shows a lot about your character, that you will allow yourself to be pushed to a back burner so that someone else can be cared for. I am so proud of you, and I love you so much."

"I love you too, Daddy. I'm sorry if I was mean to you. I was just afraid to ask for some time alone. You are so worried about Hannah, that something might happen to her, that it didn't feel like I mattered because I wasn't sick. I thought if I acted like something was wrong, it might worry you too. I guess I was right, but it was a wrong thing for me to do. I have had fun today but I know you've been worried about Hannah today. I hope you had fun though."

Mike was completely stricken by Emma's confession. It was a lot worse than he realized, and he honestly didn't have an answer for her. He was going to have to try a lot harder where Emma was concerned. He just pulled her close and hugged her tiny body to his.

"You are to never worry about asking me for some time. I will make a point to take you out like this more often. You do matter, and I hate the fact that you feel that you don't. It makes me feel like I am failing at all this. It is hard to balance everything, and you haven't even gone back to school and I haven't gone back to work. I am looking at years of care where Hannah is concerned, she might never completely be back to her old self. But you? I can't keep sliding you to a back burner to care for Hannah. Its unfair to you, and you'll only wind up hating me for it. I can't have that. I don't have a clue how I am going to make it work, but I promise, you do matter. Your opinions matter, when you hurt, it matters to me."

He could feel her shivering against him and knew that she was getting cold, the last thing in the world he needed was for her to get sick. He hated that the day was ending, and knew when they got home, he would be back to putting her on a back burner to care for Hannah. He was thankful that at least Hannah realized that Emma was needing time too. It was going to be a very delicate balance. He had walked over to the trash can to throw their cups away, and then walked back and picked Emma up off the bench. She was perfectly capable of walking, and a little old to carry around, but he enjoyed having her so close even though they were just walking to the truck.

"I couldn't ever hate you, Daddy. I couldn't. But you are wrong. You need to focus on Hannah, which means I am going to get all burnt up on the back burner. Maybe some day she will be better though and I won't get too burnt. "

Mike wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at her weird analogy, but her hope that Hannah would get better, was inspiring. He kissed her on the cheek and sat her in the truck and as he helped her with the seatbelt. He had to make it clear to her that while she felt her place was on the back burner, he was not going to let her get too "burnt."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Hannah and Mallory had had a great day as well. Mallory was thrilled to be able to help out and had made it very clear to Hannah that if she thought Mike and Emma needed another day, she was to ask for it. Mallory didn't sleep much and when she did she just crashed out of exhaustion. Hannah knew that her younger sister had died from leukemia, and her mom had been very neglectful of Mallory to care for the younger sister, May. After May died, her mom drank herself to death, and her dad killed himself. Mallory was only fifteen, and become a ward of the state. She married at seventeen, but her husband was abusive. They had twins, a boy and a girl. Mallory had put herself through nursing school despite having two young children and working part time waitressing gigs. She didn't divorce her husband, and he did come around, just to take what money she had and beat on her.

When the virus hit, the twins died. Her husband had come home in a drunken rage, and after beating Mallory, pulled a knife on her, and stabbed her in the stomach. It was still the early days of the virus, but there was still some law enforcement around, when they responded to the scene, because a neighbor had called for help, he pulled a knife on the officer, and the officer ended up shooting him. Mallory recovered from her injuries, and devoted herself completely to nursing. She hadn't given all the details to Hannah but the little bit that Hannah did know, broke her heart. She only knew about the sister who had been sick, and the neglectful mother. Mallory had made it a bit of a personal mission, that Emma not ever feel neglected, and she would do anything to help both girls. She was only 29 but had already endured so much tragedy. Mallory didn't think she could ever trust a man, but Mike and his friends gave her reason to believe that not all men were like her husband. It was hard for her to explain why she was investing so much time in a family that she didn't know that well.

Mike showed back up with Emma about 4:30 and Mallory had dinner almost ready. He insisted she stay and eat with them and commented that he noticed that her driver's side headlight was out that morning when she pulled into the drive. Mallory was completely shocked to see that he had bought a headlight to put in, and while she finished up dinner, he grabbed her keys, and disappeared with the car. What she didn't know was that he had fixed the headlight, put air in all four tires, and filled it up. She wouldn't ever accept money from him but it was the least he could do. She had never had a man be so kind to her and have no expectations. It was kind of refreshing. She knew Mike was very much grieving for his wife and he was off limits to her because of that, besides she was not ready for anything romantic either, despite everything her husband had done, she still wore her wedding band.

Supper was fun, Emma had returned to her normal self, and it was pretty obvious that she and Mike had an amazing day. Hannah was able to feed herself and was doing really well. Mallory helped clean up everything, and Mike got the feeling that she was either hanging around her or was avoiding going home. Either way, he enjoyed the adult conversation. Emma suggested they play a board game and while Mallory and Hannah seemed like they had a big secret, he agreed, everything was going great until Tom rang the doorbell and walked in.

"Mike, I need you to come with me, we're having some issues with one of the former regional leaders and they are trying to cause an uprising. It is going to require a military presence, which is something I can't authorize myself. You can come as you are, I just need help."

Mike missed the wink that Tom gave Hannah because he had ran up to get his boots. While Mike was upstairs, Emma gave Tom the coffee cup she had made for him. Tom was very touched by the gesture and gave Emma a huge hug. Mike had walked back downstairs and gave both girls hugs and kisses. Mallory had already told him she would stay for however long she was needed and he told her to make herself at home, she could use the extra bedroom, there was an extra toothbrush in his bathroom vanity, and if she needed a t-shirt to sleep in, she was more than welcome to one of his. He hated the idea of leaving the girls for an undetermined amount of time, despite how much he trusted Mallory. He told her his cellphone was on, and he would be available.

They had agreed to just use Tom's truck, since they were both headed to the same place, but when Tom didn't go in the direction of the office, Mike looked at him like he had lost his mind. Tom wanted to be well away from the house before he told Mike there was not any issues at work.

"So here's the thing, Hannah asked me to get you out of the house, away from both girls. I knew you would never readily agree to that and the only way I could pull you away was to tell you that there were issues at work. I will understand if you want me to turn around, but I do think you need the time away. There is a ballgame we can go to, or we can just go for drinks. I am your designated driver if that is what you choose. Its up to you."

Mike was shocked at how much conspiring Hannah had been doing, and he could have easily asked to be taken back home, but he did honestly need some time away, Emma's confession had put him in a bit of a tailspin, and he hadn't quite come up with answer for her. He did think a beer sounded good, but refused to get completely hammered. If he did start drinking, he might have trouble stopping considering the mess his life was at the moment. The girls were well taken care of and so he decided to just go with it.

He agreed to go to the bar for a beer or two. Fortunately Tom understood why Mike didn't want to get carried away. He could tell there was something on Mike's mind and he hoped that he could get it pulled out of him before it festered.

Mike and Tom were both very recognizable and while both men were wearing ball caps and were trying to be discreet, everyone in the bar knew who they were. Tom had settled in with a soda, but the drinks just kept coming. People were grateful for what Mike and Tom had done, bringing the cure home, and it seemed wrong to refuse the alcohol. Mike was no lightweight and could easily out drink about anyone, but it didn't take too long before he was pretty sloshed. Mike was a funny drunk who never held back from saying what he felt needed to be said, even if it didn't really needed to be said.

"Did you have a good time with Emma today? I could tell she was really enjoying it when you and she came to the office to see me."

Mike had gotten pretty pensive and started fidgeting with the straw on one of the drinks. He finally confessed to Tom what Emma had told him at the park. Tom could tell that Mike was very deeply affected by the little girl's confession and it had him hearing something that he never thought he would hear his friend question.

"Maybe it would be better for Emma if I gave her up to someone who could love and care for her the way she deserves. I know it would seem like I would be choosing one daughter over the other. But Emma deserves better. She is an amazing girl and so many people love her. I would be doing it to help her. It would hurt like hell but she needs a parent who can be 100% devoted to her. I love her, but I am hurting her so deeply, and it will permanently scar her. She would be better off. Maybe you and Sasha would take her? At least then I could see her if you allowed it, and even if not, I would know she was loved and cared for."

Tom looked like he had been slapped, and he honestly wanted to knock Mike out of his chair for even thinking it. Tom adored his own kids, and if something ever happened to Mike, he would adopt Mike's kids in a nanosecond. He also knew that Mike's words were being prompted from the alcohol and Mike would never be able to give Emma up, but it was on his mind.

"If you think for one second, that giving her up wouldn't scar her, your dead wrong. Mike, I can't believe that you're even suggesting this, my God! That little girl would be completely devastated if she knew you even were considering this. Would I take her? In a heartbeat…but only if you were six feet under. I know you feel like you are this horrible father, but you're not. The fact that you are even thinking this, proves how deeply you care about her. I don't have an answer for you. I know that you feel that you have slid Emma to a back burner, and she feels like that is her place in life and her thoughts and actions don't matter. Hannah won't always be this sick and how would you feel if you had given Emma up, to care for Hannah and in the process completely destroyed your relationship with Emma? If you do give her up, there is no going back. You will have lost a second child, albeit not to death, but that fate, rejecting her? It's worse, because you made the choice. Sasha and I will help where we can with Hannah to give you more time with Emma. I know you don't trust anyone right now due to her health but you know we would do anything to help. Mike, you can't even think like this, my God. "

Mike looked almost small in the chair. Tom knew he hadn't convinced Mike not to think about giving Emma up and if he was in his shoes, Tom wasn't even sure he wouldn't be considering the same thing. The important thing was that Emma never find out what Mike was considering. Tom knew that in the end Mike would never actually be able to give the little girl up but just the idea of it, would destroy Emma worse then being "burnt" on the back burner. If Mike did pursue it, then Tom would take the little girl, just so she at least had someone she knew. It would permanently destroy their friendship and Tom wasn't sure he would even allow Mike around the little girl. He just hoped the thought would go away when Mike sobered up and would never be uttered again.

Neither man was in much of a mood to talk at that point. Tom was shell shocked by Mike's question. Mike felt like a complete failure for even thinking it, he adored Emma and needed her smiles and her amazing love for him, but she did deserve better than what she was getting. His theory was that she would be better off with someone who loved her. He loved her, but he couldn't allow her to be hurt, and if things continued at the rate they were, Emma would be completely damaged. So it was better to just let someone else have her who wouldn't hurt her. If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go. He just hoped that whoever took her, would allow him to see her from time to time. He was much more serious about it then even Tom realized. There were hundreds of families who had lost children and would be happy to give a girl like Emma a home. Mike would just prefer it be a friend. Tom didn't know it but he had made an appointment with his attorney when he got home from his day with Emma, to weigh his options where she was concerned, to see what it would take to have his parental rights terminated and have someone adopt her. Once his rights were stripped, Mike would have no options on who Emma was placed with but he could hope it would be a friend. He just didn't know how to tell her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

The rest of the evening was pretty quiet and Mike asked to be taken home about eleven. As they pulled in, and Mike was getting out of the truck, he told Tom about the attorney. It was to just weigh his options at that point, and he wasn't completely decided about terminating his parental rights to Emma. Tom didn't like the idea of Mike giving Emma up legally or in any regard and although he hadn't talked to Sasha about it, he had to make a suggestion, because he knew it was not just alcohol talking now, it was guilt.

"Mike, why don't you ask Emma what she wants? Don't hint that you're thinking about giving her up legally, just thinking about letting her stay with someone until Hannah gets better. See if she okay with that. I would be willing to bet, she won't be. Talk to her before you go to the attorney. Once that paper is signed, there is not any going back and Emma will be completely destroyed regardless of what you think. Sasha and I will keep her if that is the case until Hannah is a little more on her feet. You will communicate to her that she is not worthy of love if you let her go. Giving her up will determine a very sour future for that little girl. I honestly don't think you have it in you to do it. You love her too much."

Mike walked back in, and found Mallory in the living room, he had texted her that he was on his way home and so she had decided not to stay the night. She told him about how excited Emma was telling her about her day with her daddy. She picked up on the fact that Mike was very conflicted about something but choose not to pursue it.

Mike checked on Hannah, who was sleeping soundly. When he got to Emma's room he was surprised to see her reading lamp still on. She was laying on her bedroom floor looking at some pictures that were in her baby book. Christine had put books together of all three kid's pictures, and Hannah had her's in her room, Lucas' was in Mike's closet. He sat down next to her and started looking through the pages. She smiled up at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Emma was four months old when Mike finally got to meet her, he had been deployed and initially he was terrified that he wouldn't have a good bond with her. But money had been tight, and Christine needed to go back to work, so as soon as Mike got home, he become a stay-at-home dad, at least until his next deployment. Emma was a happy baby who caused him very few issues, and bonding with her was easy. In fact, his bond with her was a little stronger, maybe because he was home with her during some of her more formative months. He had shipped out a week after Lucas was born, and Hannah was three months old when he deployed, so he missed a lot with them. Emma had him almost completely to herself until she was eighteen months old, because Hannah was in preschool and kindergarten and Lucas and her were eighteen month apart.

"Emma, I need to ask you a question, and when I ask you this, please don't think I don't love you or want you. Would it be better for you, if you went somewhere else to live for awhile? Somewhere, where you would have more attention and love. It would be until Hannah got better and then we would reevaluate. I don't think I am giving you what you deserve here, and I have no idea how long it be before I can give you what you deserve."

Emma's eyes had filled up with tears and her bottom lip was quivering. She jumped up and ran to her bed, and dove in headfirst. It was exactly the reaction Mike didn't want. Tom was right, he had just completely destroyed Emma and hadn't even mentioned the legal side to what he was considering. He sit down next to her and picked her up. When she had stood up there was a picture in her hand, that had been loose, it was one of Mike holding her up in the air and giving her kisses. She was about a year old. It was now crumpled up. Mike sat it down on the night stand and just pulled her close. She sobbed into his shirt, gut wrenching sobs. It seemed like they sit there for an hour, waiting for the sobbing to subside.

"I don't want to live anywhere else. I told you I was okay but you tell me you don't want me anymore. What did I do that was so bad? Is it because Hannah got so sick taking care of me? I am sorry I am causing you so many problems and you hate me…"

"Emma, stop. I love you, but I am hurting you. That is why I asked. I want you here, I just don't feel that I am able to give you what you deserve and you'll end up hating me, and I couldn't handle that. I know I've hurt you even worse now, and I have no idea what to do to make it better. I will make everything work, I just hate that you keep getting the short end of the straw, keep getting "burnt." Its not fair to you. Please talk to me."

She didn't talk but she also had stopped sobbing, she would occasionally sniffle into his shirt, and both fists had his shirt bunched up, and he knew she wasn't sleeping because she was moving around too much. He thought about pulling away so he could see her face but she was clinging to him, and if he pulled away, she might view it as a rejection. The twin bed was really tiny for the two of them and he considered just picking her up and walking to his bed but for some reason he stayed put, looking around at all her baby and toddler pictures.

"Daddy, why do you think I am not happy with what you are doing? I know you'll go back to work, and I will go to school and we will have even less time for "Emma Days," but if I go to live somewhere else, I won't even get that with you. And besides if I went to live somewhere else, they maybe mean to me. I don't think you would like that too much. You say you love me, and I believe you, and I love you too. But can we not talk about this again? It really hurts and I want to forget about it."

She had pulled away from him, and looked at him in the eyes, but she still had her hands fisted with his shirt, almost like she was afraid to let him go. There were still tears on her face and he had also been crying. She reached up and touched his face where the tears had been. He didn't have any words for her, he just nodded at her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek where the tears had been. He could tell that he had hurt her very deeply and she would probably never forget what he had said, but he also knew she was a very forgiving and compassionate soul and she would do what she could to repair what he had messed up.

"Can you stay in here with me tonight? I know I'm getting too old and you probably don't really want me to sleep in your bed, but I want you to sleep in here with me, please? I won't get mad if you break the bed cause you're so heavy. I know I just had an "Emma Day" but I think I want an "Emma Night""

He stood up, leaving her sitting on the bed, and turned the blankets and sheets down, and kicked off his boots. He picked her back up and laid her down properly and laid down on his side next to her. It was going to be a very uncomfortable night for him. He hadn't said anything more to her, just nodding and acting. He didn't trust his voice. He had ripped his baby's heart out and she had already forgiven him. He didn't deserve her.

"I love you, Daddy! "

"I love you too, baby, I'm so sorry…"

She had put her hand over his mouth, and said, "Leave it at I love you, I really want to just forget it. Can't you do that for me?"

Mike nodded at her and wrapped his arms around her, and she snuggled up against him. She seemed to fall asleep immediately, Mike just hoped he could. He was going to cancel the appointment with the attorney, there was no way he could give her up now. Tom had warned him that he would ruin Emma if he suggested it, but then told him to ask the little girl about it. Mike wasn't sure if he even slept that night. All he could do was try and figure out the ramificaitons of what he had said.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Emma woke up just as happy as always. She jumped off the bed, ready to start the day. Mike felt like he was a hundred years old, between being hungover, cramped up from laying on the tiny bed all night, and being emotionally drained, Emma laughed at his grumbling. . As soon as the attorney's office opened up, Mike called and cancelled the appointment. Emma might be willing to forgive and forget it, Mike would never forgive himself for saying it and would never forget the shattered look on Emma's face.

Hannah was having a rough day, and Mike decided to not tell her about his suggestion that Emma go live somewhere else. Hannah would have a coronary if she thought that Emma would be living elsewhere. While Mallory bathed and bandaged Hannah, Mike made a point to spend a little more time with Emma. He could see a little sadness behind her smile, and while she seemed happy, Mike knew it was a façade. It was too wet and rainy outside and so Mike couldn't take her to play soccer, he had made several different suggestions but Emma didn't seem interested in any of them. He finally put one of her favorite movies in, and Emma curled up next to him on the couch and within a half hour was sound asleep.

As much as Mike wanted to, he couldn't stay cuddled up with Emma all day. Hannah had settled on the recliner and was also asleep due to the painkillers Mallory had given her after the bandage change. He worked on laundry, cleaning, and read through some work emails. He was sitting at the kitchen table when Emma woke up, and started to sit next to him, but instead he pulled her into his lap. Hannah was still sleeping and he needed some time with Emma. While she was still smiling, he knew she was wounded deeply.

"Emma, I know you told me you want to forget what happened last night, but I can tell you're hurting and trying to not be mad at me. It's okay to be angry, I'm angry at myself for even thinking it. You're allowed. I never said it or thought it because I didn't love you or wanted you here, I just don't feel like I am being fair to you, and thought it might be better if someone else took care of you for a while. I don't deserve you or your love. You are too good for me. I love you and I know I've hurt you. I can't ever say sorry enough. Emma, how do I fix this?"

She reached up and fixed the collar on his shirt, he could tell she was trying to find words to express how deeply she was hurting. She had kind of cuddled up into him and was sucking on her bottom lip, a sure sign that she was nervous.

"Don't say you don't deserve me, Daddy. I love you. Yea, I'm hurting right now, and I may be a little mad but that doesn't make me not love you. I am sure that there will be times that I will hurt you but that doesn't mean you'll stop loving me and I know that. I know and understand why you thought it would be better if I lived somewhere else, and maybe you're right. But I don't want to. I am trying to not make you not have time for Hannah. You just love her more right now and its okay. I know you love me. I really loved spending time with just you yesterday, but I won't ask for any more time. Maybe if I hadn't wanted time with you, you wouldn't have felt that way. I know how much you're trying but I don't mind not having any more days with just you, just so I can stay living here with you and Hannah. You will still tuck me in, and watch movies with me sometimes, right? "

"Emma, I love you exactly the same amount as what I love Hannah, and Lucas. But I will admit I love all three of you a little differently. I love you because of your heart, the way you are so forgiving, so selfless. The way that despite how badly someone hurts you, you still love them. I loved my time with you yesterday and quite honestly I had more fun than I've had since before I deployed to the Arctic, I love being able to tuck you in, watch movies and play games with you. I want more "Emma Days" and I don't want you to feel guilty for wanting them too. You spread sunshine where ever you go and I need that right now, I always need it but right now, I'm hurting because of how sick Hannah is, and I miss your mom and brother but being around you, it helps with that. My heart hurts right now, for a lot of different reasons but you help me with that. I hated the idea of you living somewhere else, and I'm not even sure that I could have actually let you go. I hate myself for even suggesting it, but I promise you, it was done in love. Part of the reason that I've allowed you to go with Uncle Tom, Sasha and everyone else, is so at least someone is giving you the love and attention you deserve. I love you, never question that and never question if I love you less than I love Hannah or Lucas. Its exactly the same amount. If you want to forget all this, it's forgotten. But I am so, so, sorry for the hurt I've caused you. I can't unsay what I said, and you can't unhear it. Those words are going to stay in your head for the rest of your life, and every time you look at me, they will be there."

She patted his cheek, and said something that made him smile, "You know what else will stay in my head? All the times you've told me you love me, that you're proud of me. All the times, even when you're busy with Hannah, that you've made me my favorite food, read to me, played cards with me, wrote me letters, or cuddled with me. I bet all that will make what you said seem so tiny I won't even notice it. I am worried about something else though."

"What's that?"

"You're supposed to be the head of the whole Navy right? Can't you make it to where Molly won't have to die? Or maybe President Oliver can?"

He couldn't help but to laugh at that statement. His daughter had just tried to make him use his influence to save a puppy. It did say a lot about her heart. He told her he would see what he could do, he still wanted to maintain the surprise of Emma receiving the puppy. It would be another week before Molly would be ready to leave her mother but he suspected Danny was hurrying that along. The idea of lobbying the President of the United States to save a puppy was amusing at best, but he could see President Oliver going along with it. Emma had him wrapped around her little finger.

The rest of the day was spent watching movies, playing a board game and just relaxing. Emma's smiles had returned and there was no sadness behind them. She had finished Tom and the President's pictures and they decided that he would check with Mallory and see when she could stay with Hannah so they could spend another day together.

Hannah had sensed that there was something was wrong and despite having a bad day, asked for very little and went along with anything that Emma wanted. He had to carry her several times around the house and at one point had to help her to the bathroom, but Emma had helped with the more personal aspect of that chore. He could tell that Hannah was very deeply ashamed of it, but Emma's general attitude helped.

He had asked Tom to come by in the evening because while Mike was not going to go to the attorney to terminate his rights concerning Emma, he did need to make a plan for the girls in case something happened to him. He knew that Tom would help him, just as if something happened to Tom, Mike would adopt Sam and Ashley. He could never allow the girl's to be in the position that they were in when Tom found them. He also had decided to give Tom power of attorney in case Tom ever needed to make a medical or legal decision concerning him or the girls. Since the virus had hit, the legal system was not held to same regards that it once had been, but Mike needed to know that someone he trusted would look after the girls and keep their best interest at heart. Mike didn't have any family other than the girls, and there was a distinct possibility that Hannah's care would have to be continued for years after she had reached adulthood. He knew that Emma would help, but he didn't want either girl saddled with caring for the other when they had their own lives. It was a lot to ask Tom but he knew that Tom wouldn't want him to ask anyone else, and Tom had also set up that if something happened to him, and Sasha was for some reason not able to take his kids, Mike was next in line and even if Sasha did take them, Mike would still be in the picture.

Hannah decided to go to bed fairly early, and Tom came in, in the middle of the bandage change. He had not been shown how to do them, and Mike did feel he needed to start trusting other people with Hannah's care, if for no other reason, for Emma's sake. Tom wasn't thrilled the idea of having to see the scars on Hannah's feet but he did learn how to do them. Mike tucked both girls in, said their prayers with them, and kissed them goodnight. Tom had gone downstairs to see if he could find something on the tv to watch that was not a chick flick. He got them both beers and sat down in the living room with Tom, there was a rerun of a football game that took place before the Red Flu.

"So, I did talk to Emma about letting her live elsewhere for a while, it went over like a lead balloon and I didn't even mention the fact that I considered it being a permanent situation. That is definitely off the table and I am honestly glad it is, I couldn't have done it. It has caused some hurt feelings where she is concerned but I think she'll be okay in the long run. Not sure I will be though. What I needed to talk to you about is, if something happens to me. I need a plan in place for the girls, and I was hoping that if that happened, you would be willing to take them in? I know it's a lot to ask, especially considering Hannah's health and the fact that she may require long term care, but I cannot allow them to be in the same position as they were when you found them. There is no one else I would want to care for my kids then you and Sasha. I do understand if you say no. I know you have it set up that if something happens to you, I would take Sam and Ashley and I still would, but with Hannah's situation, it wouldn't just be until she turned eighteen. I also would like to set it up so that if something happened, you would make my medical and legal decisions, and put you on my bank accounts and the deed to the house. All of it would only be if you wanted to and I do think its something you should go home and talk to Sasha about. I trust you, and I know that you would love my girls exactly the same way you do Sam and Ashley. You have done more for me than anyone, and I love you just like a brother."

"I'm touched Mike, and I can tell you, the answer will be yes. I will talk to Sasha about it but she'll agree. I know that Hannah may require care for the rest of her life and I would provide whatever care she needed. Changing the subject, because I don't think you're done with it, Emma didn't handle the suggestion that she live somewhere else very well? I hated to even suggest that you talk to her, because I knew that even the thought would devastate her, but until you talked to her, you were not going to leave it alone. She's okay now? "

"Yeah, she says she is, but I do think its still on her mind. I have never seen her so devastated. I don't think I'll forget the look on her face. I had the appointment made for the attorney, and was going to have my rights stripped where she was concerned and have her put up for adoption. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I obviously didn't tell her about the legal stuff, just asked her if it would be better if she lived somewhere else for awhile. Definitely not one of my better moments or decisions. And I honestly don't think that when it come down to it, I would have been able to do it. I can't believe I ever thought it was a good idea. I still think that I am giving her the short end of the straw but she seems completely okay with it. Part of the reason why I want you on the legal paperwork, is to keep me from doing something stupid like that. When I think of the damage of what could have happened…"

"Mike, its really not stupid and in your shoes, I'm not even sure I wouldn't have done the same thing. You have a lot on your plate right now but there will come a time that Hannah will have a somewhat normal life, and you can just be a dad to her."

After a brotherly hug, Tom went on home and Mike locked up for the night. Mallory had the next night off so she had said she would stay with Hannah the next day to give him some time with Emma. He had told her what had happened, he figured she would judge him for it but she didn't. He just hoped that Emma was truly okay.


	28. Chapter 28

Sorry if I startled you all with the last two chapters, and it will be discussed some more, but I promise Mike will not be giving Emma up. It will actually give them a connection they didn't have before, and it is really meant to be a happy story. I know it seems unrealistic for the character, but he was desperate and guilty, so it become a part of the story! Please review!

 **Chapter 28**

Mike had some reservations about leaving the next day, Hannah had another bad day, and she woke up and almost immediately started crying in pain. She couldn't walk, had to have Mike feed her even though she had been able to the last couple meals. Emma had told him they didn't have to go but Mike felt that she was just telling him that because she knew he didn't want to leave Hannah on such a bad day. He asked Hannah if she wanted him to stay and she told him to go with Emma. Mallory was going to be working for two weeks straight before she got another day off and so it was the last chance Mike and Emma would have for a couple weeks. Emma told her that they would make it a shorter day out, and Hannah seemed happy with that prospect.

Emma told Mike she was okay with just delivering the pictures to Tom and the President, they could go home afterwards. Mike got the feeling that she was still a bit sad but choose not to remark on it, Emma had been clear that she didn't want it to be constantly discussed. He was hoping that Tom might be able to draw Emma out of it, and he had texted Tom to tell them they were coming, and he was going to find an excuse to leave Emma with Tom for a couple minutes in hopes that Emma would unload on Tom. He hated to do that to his friend but he knew that Tom would be the listening ear that Emma needed, because she was afraid to hurt Mike and would also be discreet. He didn't even mind if Tom didn't tell him what was said.

They delivered the picture to the President first, and he immediately hung it up by his desk. Emma "mentioned" about how because of her leg, Molly might get killed and "hinted" that surely the President would be able to stop it from happening. While Emma was using the restroom, Mike clued the President in on his plan to surprise Emma with the puppy and the President decided to play along with the little game, telling Emma he would see what it would take to give the puppy a stay of execution. The happiest Emma was, was when she talked about the puppy and trying to convince anyone who would listen that someone "needed" the dog, she wasn't even lobbying for herself to get the puppy.

Tom had clued Kate in on the fact that Mike was going to try and leave Emma with Tom for a bit. He didn't tell her a reason why, just that he needed her to come up with something that would take Mike away for about a half hour. Emma had been pretty upbeat with the President but when they got to Tom's office, it was like her mood changed, like she was done with putting on an act. She wouldn't hold Mike's hand and even talked back a little. She was trying to act okay but Mike saw through it, and was trying to be patient with her; he had caused the problem after all.

About fifteen minutes into their visit, Kate came in and asked Mike to look over some reports and make a few phone calls to people who wanted to talk to the CNO, not the acting CNO. Mike knew it was an act but played along with it. Tom was showing Emma something on the computer and he excused himself for a few minutes.

"So, Emma, you seem a little upset about something. I know you are worried about causing your dad any problems so how about you tell me about it, and I will decide if I need to tell your dad about it? It's better to get things off your chest, because it can cause a lot of pain if you let it stay there."

Emma was sitting in a chair next to him, and he noticed that she was sucking on her bottom lip and was fidgeting, telling him that she was nervous. He leaned over and grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. He and Mike had decided that Tom would discreetly text Mike when she was done talking. Mike knew that there was a possibility that Tom wouldn't tell him what was said.

"Daddy asked me if I thought it would be better if I lived somewhere else because of Hannah being so sick. He says it's because he doesn't think he is paying enough attention to me or is loving me right. But when you come over to our house last night I heard him telling you that he had an appointment with the attorney about having his rights stripped away and putting me up for adoption. I don't understand about him having his rights stripped away but I do know what putting me up for adoption means. It means he doesn't want me anymore, but I don't know why. Is it because Lucas died and now Hannah is sick and I am not sick? He blames me? Hannah always made sure I had the warmer clothes and more food and that is part of the reason why she is so sick, so it is my fault. Maybe it would be better if I didn't live there anymore, so he didn't see the cause of why Hannah is so sick every day. Also does putting me up for adoption mean I would go someplace with people I don't know, so I couldn't even see Daddy and Hannah? I would still want to see them."

Tom took a deep breath, because he wasn't too sure how to answer her. She had obviously not heard the entire conversation the night before, just the most damaging part of it. She had turned to where she could see his face and he knew he was going to have to come with an answer very quickly.

"There was a lot more to the conversation than what you heard, Emma. Your dad is afraid that he is hurting you because of all the time he is having to spend taking care of Hannah. Trust me, he would have never actually been able to put you up for adoption, and the reason he approached me with it, was because he wanted me and Sasha to take you, which we would have. He wanted to be able to see you, and know that you were loved and cared for, more so then what he feels that he can do right now. I told him to ask you first, before he made any decisions. He didn't want to talk to you about it, because he knew even mentioning it would hurt you. He loves you so, so much, Emma and I promise you, he only thought about it, because he doesn't feel he is doing a good job where you're concerned, plus he feels guilty about not finding you and your sister and your mom sooner. He is afraid that you will end up hating him. I know you're hurting right now and you don't have to forgive him. I also know that he was only considering it because he thinks you deserve better. I promise you that he has cancelled the appointment to have his rights stripped away and to put you up for adoption. He never really wanted to and I promise you that when it come down to the wire, he would have never been able to let you go, especially to a stranger. I can also promise you, and I am saying this as a dad, for him to even consider giving you up so that you can get the love and attention he feels you deserve, it shows how deeply he loves you. He was willing to sacrifice his relationship with you so that you could have better than what he thinks he is providing you. If that isn't proof of love, I don't know what is. If he had gone through with it, and let you go, I promise that it would have torn him to pieces, knowing you were out there and he couldn't have you again. It would have hurt you, but it would have destroyed him. Emma, I don't know what else to tell you, but I promise he loves you so much. I know you are hurting, mad, and feel rejected but I am seeing this from his perspective as a dad, and it was a huge act of love for him to just consider letting you go. Also, he doesn't blame you for the shape that Hannah is in; he just blames himself for that. Tell me what you're thinking or if I've helped you. I suppose you need to make a choice as to rather you continue to live with your dad and Hannah, and if you decide you don't I will tell your dad, so you don't have to."

Emma was in deep thought, her brow was creased up and she was fidgeting with one of the buttons on his shirt. Tom prayed that he had gotten through to her because if she decided she no longer wanted to live with Mike, he would have to be the one to tell him, he honestly wasn't sure the reaction Mike would have, but he wasn't going to subject a nine year old to it. He had smoothed his hand over her hair and gave her a big smile. She looked up at him and gave him a huge smile. When Emma was happy, Mike always joked that her eyes even smiled. They would sparkle. Her eyes were smiling now.

"I don't want to live anywhere else. I guess I wasn't thinking about what it was like for him and I know he is sad because he knows that I'm mad at him. I shouldn't have heard what you were talking about, it was wrong and I am sorry. I was doing okay until I heard what he said last night, I guess I thought it was something he was just thinking about but then when I heard him say he had an appointment to see the attorney, it made me realize that it might not matter rather I wanted to stay with him or not, he would give me away anyway. I thought if I was mean to him, it wouldn't hurt so bad when he did give me away. I just don't know where to go from here, but I do know I don't want to live someplace else. I love him and Hannah and I'm scared that if he gives me away, I will end living on the streets again and I really like my room that you guys made for me. Can you help me tell him that? I don't want to make him mad or upset and he listens to you."

"I will, but I promise you, he isn't giving you away. And I would not have allowed him to give you to a stranger or for you to live on the streets again. You would have moved in with me, Sasha, Ashley and Sam. Just remember, him even considering it was just proof of how much he loves you. Now, I am going to tell you, I am going to talk to your dad about this. He needs to know about some of the stuff you've said and I know you may not want to tell him, so I can. Is there any part, you don't want him to know? I don't know that I won't tell him, but he needs to know that you blame yourself for Hannah being so sick and for Lucas dying. I don't think he would handle it if you were sick too. He is overwhelmed taking care of Hannah and feels he can only be her caretaker, and is having trouble being her dad, which is what Hannah wants. But with you, he gets to just be your dad. He doesn't have to worry about your feet needing bandaged, if you can breathe, if you'll get sicker. He just gets to be your daddy, and that is what he wants. He loves taking care of Hannah and would do anything for her but it is weighing on him."

She nodded at him, and gave him one of her huge smiles, and Tom knew then that she would be okay. She gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and said, "I just love you, Uncle Tom!" All he could do was laugh and tell her he loved her back. He texted Mike to come back in and when Mike walked in, Emma jumped up and ran to Mike and gave him a huge hug. All the pain and hurt was gone. Tom knew that Mike would be hurting for a long time, but at least Emma would be able to move past it. Tom let Mike know that they would talk later. Emma decided to get him involved in the plot to save the puppy and the rest of the visit was about her "needing" a dog, and Molly "needing" to be saved. Even the President thought so. Mike had let him in on the surprise the night before and so he just acted along with it.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Emma was just like her old self, happy, laughing and smiling. Apparently whatever she and Tom talked about had eased her mind. He hadn't gotten a hug from her that morning, but now she was full of them. They had promised Hannah that they would come home earlier, but Mike at least wanted to take Emma for lunch. He texted Mallory and asked her if it was okay if they stay out for a little longer, and she texted back that Hannah was doing a bit better and wanted him and Emma to enjoy themselves. She did mention that Hannah was craving a strawberry milkshake and he didn't have the ingredients.

Emma and he ate lunch at a burger place that had just reopened. The place was becoming known for their milkshakes and so Mike decided to get Emma, Hannah, Mallory and himself shakes when they left. Emma was still talking about the puppy and Mike was tempted to just tell her that she would be getting Molly, but it was just so cute the way she was trying to get everyone involved in saving the dog and he was really looking forward to her face when he gave her the dog.

They finally got home about one, and he woke Hannah and Mallory up as he and Emma walked in, but Hannah was thrilled with the milkshake, even though he or Mallory had to hold it for her. Mallory was exhausted and not looking forward to her long work week of night shifts. She had been napping on the couch when he come in, and he could tell she was scared that he was mad at her for resting when Hannah was sleeping, she felt she should have cleaned the house instead of sleeping. Mike had dealt with a lot of abused women as a cop, and although Mallory wouldn't talk about her past, she gave him every indication that she had a traumatic relationship. He had touched her arm one day and she had jerked away from him. The young nurse was doing so much for him and his girls and was shocked when she realized that he had filled her car up. It made him think that she had never had a nice thing done for her. She had let it slip that her thirtieth birthday was in a couple days and Mike had already decided he was going to do something for her. He had no idea what her interests were outside of nursing, and so he had texted Rios with his plans. Rios told him he knew she was needing a better pair of nursing shoes and stethoscope. He told him the brand of stethoscope that would be best for Mallory and where to go to get the nursing shoes. He just had to figure out the shoe size, but he was going to see if Hannah would help him with that. Mallory refused any type of payment for what she was doing so it was the least he could do.

Hannah was trying really hard to have a good day but she was struggling and Mallory was concerned because she had dropped three pounds. She was eating okay, and Mallory told Mike that if she voiced wanting a certain food, to go ahead and fix it for her and not to worry about the bland diet. The only thing she ever voiced wanting besides the milkshake was Bacon's chicken soup. Mike hated to ask Bacon for more and so he asked for the recipe. He suspected that Bacon was just going to show up with some of the soup. He was thankful for so many people jumping in to help. When he had texted Bacon for the recipe, he told him Hannah had lost some weight and she didn't have any extra to lose.

Emma was trying to engage Hannah in all kinds of activities, and he knew Hannah was trying so hard to be a part of them but she fell asleep twice while holding cards and then she just couldn't lift her arms to hold the cards. Emma had an abundance of patience for it, but Hannah didn't. Hannah was like Mike in that her patience was thin and she did lash out of Emma a couple times. Emma was so good hearted but he could see the tears that she was trying to fight back. She finally just sit down on the couch with her drawing book, and was drawing Hannah a picture, in hopes that it would lift her spirits.

Hannah had also lashed out at Mike, but he could counter it a little better than Emma, but even with that, it did sting. It was really hard to play the dad role when she was needed so much, and when she did lash out at him, he often times would just kiss her on the forehead and tell her he loved her. He didn't like excusing the behavior, but she was speaking out of pain and frustration. He just had to remind himself and Emma that there would come a day where Hannah was not in such pain.

Mike fixed more of the soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, but didn't get to eat a bite of it because Hannah had to be fed and asked to be put to bed early. Mike had to carry her upstairs and realized that he hadn't turned her bed down before he brought her upstairs, but Emma had followed them up and did it for him and then helped Hannah into a fresh set of pajamas. The bandage change fortunately went off without a hitch and she refused the pain shot, but agreed to the oral painkillers. He asked if she wanted him to read to her and she just shook her head. His heart was breaking, it seemed like he would get a step or two ahead with Emma and then Hannah would lose ground.

" Hannah, are you upset that I spent another day with Emma or are you just hurting? I know I haven't been able to do much of anything fun with you and I'm sorry. I love you and I hate seeing you like this."

"Its fine that you and Emma can go out, I'm just hoping that there will come a time that you and I can do something fun. I want to ride horses with you but I know I can't right now. It doesn't seem fair, and I'm afraid I will never get to that point. I am looking forward to my violin lessons but what if I can't even hold my violin? Wolf may not want to help."

He assured her that Wolf was aware that she might not be able to lift the violin and he knew that Wolf had an abundance of patience. He was going to have to find something that he could do with Hannah and quickly. He kissed her good night and told her he loved her. She had been on the oxygen all day and so all he had to do was turn the baby monitor on. He had asked her to find out what size shoes Mallory wore and what he was planning. She wanted to go all out and have a cake and everything. Mike knew it would be a little unconventional to have a cake with breakfast but that was the only way he could do Mallory's birthday due to her work schedule. The next day was going to be pretty warm and he had already arranged for Tom and Sasha to have Emma for a couple hours. He was hoping that getting out of the house would help Hannah.

Tom came over after both girls went to bed, and insisted that they talk in Mike's office. When he explained what Emma had overheard, Mike understood why. He felt horribly about the whole situation and wasn't sure how to make it right. Tom had told him that he needed to address Emma thinking that he blamed her for Lucas' death and Hannah's illness, and to make it clear that he was not going to give Emma away and then let it drop. They discussed the plans for the next day and Tom said he and Sasha and the kids would come over for Mallory's birthday breakfast on Sunday. Mike just hoped that Hannah would have a better day and he was looking forward to spend some time with her. He loved his time with Emma but Hannah needed time too, that didn't include bandaging or making sure she had enough air. Both girls were excited that they would be able to do something for Mallory, they both depended on her a lot.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

If the past couple days had been rough for Hannah, Saturday was amazing. She was able to dress herself, without Mallory's help, the bandage change went perfectly, she could walk without Mike's assistance and she was happy. She was able to find out that Mallory wore a size 6 shoe and her favorite color was green. Hannah also found out that Mallory had put herself on a rather strict diet, but wanted a cheat day. Mike couldn't understand why Mallory thought she needed a diet but he would definitely be providing the cheat day, it broke his heart when Hannah told him that the diet was not so much about losing weight as it was to save money because Mallory's rent had gone up.

Emma was thrilled to go with Tom and Sasha. Mike had talked to her a little bit while Mallory and Hannah were in the bathroom and changing the bandages and had made it very clear to her that he wanted her home with him and he loved her, he also let her know that he didn't blame her for Lucas' death or Hannah's illness. She didn't say a whole lot about the matter, but he could tell she was moving past it.

Hannah didn't want to, but Mike insisted on having her wheelchair and her portable oxygen tank with them just in case she ran out of energy later. She was afraid that people would look at her funny, but Mike honestly didn't care. Most people had moved past judging others due to what the Red Flu had caused. People just didn't care anymore.

The first stop was to get the shoes. He knew Mallory preferred a solid, dark color due to blood and other fluids that she came into contact with as a nurse. They picked out the best pair that the store had, a pair that was rated for long hours.

The stethoscope was a little more difficult to pick out. He finally just called Rios who happened to be close, and so he stopped by to help Mike and Hannah. Rios had initially pointed him towards a cheaper version because he wasn't sure how much Mike was willing to spend but then mentioned that Mallory actually worked as a pediatric emergency room nurse more often and there was a special stethoscope for them, which was quite expensive. They happened to have a seafoam green one that could be inscribed in that version. The store offered discounts for doctors and nurses and so Rios hung around so that Mike could get the discount, although Mike didn't really care about it. Rios was going to have to work the next day so he wouldn't be at Mallory's birthday breakfast. He seemed surprised when Mike invited him, pre Red Flu it would be highly unusual for Mike to associate with the enlisted or junior officers on such a personal basis, but the lines had been blurred, and Mike was honestly glad. He felt it was stupid to have those rules in place, and while he maintained a professionalism with everyone, he had found himself becoming friends with several members of the crew that he wouldn't have ordinarly been friends with. The amount of help they had given him was part of that. He felt the least he could do was offer his friendship for all that they had done for his girls and he.

Mike and Hannah were both hungry and Mike did want to take Hannah out for lunch but she was nervous about it because she didn't want people to see Mike feeding her if it become necessary. They picked a small diner that had a more private dining room so if Mike had to assist Hannah in anyway, she wouldn't be embarrassed. He didn't care but he did care that it bothered her so much. She had done okay in the stores with walking but was losing steam and choose to sit in the wheelchair at the diner. Fortunately their waitress was very understanding and patient with her. Hannah was able to feed herself most of the meal, and decided she did want dessert, which was pumpkin pie and whipped cream. He was shocked when she not only ate her slice but also ate part of his slice of apple pie. Hannah had inherited his sweet tooth and he couldn't tell her no.

He made a quick trip through the store to get the breakfast and cake items, and a card for Mallory. Hannah was losing ground quickly and choose to stay in the truck, which Mike didn't like at all. He had texted Tom before he left the store that he might need help getting her inside and so Tom met him at the truck with Emma and they carried her and her wheelchair up the steps and laid her down on the couch. Before she went to sleep, she made Mike promise that he wouldn't decorate the cake until she woke up. She wanted to put sprinkles and everything on it.

Sasha came over and helped him wrap the gifts and told Mike that Tom and she had gotten Mallory a set of scrubs because some of the ones that she noticed Mallory wearing were a little thin. Emma helped him with the cake but agreed to wait to let it cool and for Hannah to decorate it. She had decided she wanted to draw Mallory a picture and so while Hannah was sleeping, Emma sit at the kitchen table with Mike while he wrote the card out.

" _Mallory,_

 _I can't thank you enough for what you've done for my girls and myself. I am not sure we could have gotten through the last two weeks without you. You have truly been a godsend for all of us._

 _You have never passed a judgement when I screwed up with either of the girls, and have given me some very sound advice. I can tell you have some real life experiences that have taught you what you know, and while I can tell it causes you pain, please know I appreciate you advocating for my girls when it is needed, and helping me when I found out about how Lucas' last hours were like. Most people would have ran away screaming, when faced with that, but you didn't and you handled it with such grace. I am glad that both girls look up to you the way that they do, I would be proud if they grew up to be anything at all like you are._

 _The shoes and stethoscope is actually a very small token of our appreciation for everything that you've done and in my opinion not nearly enough. I do have receipts if the shoes don't fit right, but I am telling you, you're not taking them back because you feel it is too much or too expensive._

 _Love,_

 _Mike, Hannah and Emma"_

Mike wasn't sure how the gifts, the card or the breakfast would be received but he felt it needed to be done. Hannah woke up feeling a lot better, and helped decorate the cake. He let her read the card before he sealed it, and he could see the tears in her eyes. She had told him about Mallory's sister having leukemia and dying and her mother and father's reaction to it. Mike understood now why Mallory advocated for Emma so strongly even though Hannah was her patient. He had had a background check done on her while Tom had been talking to Emma. It didn't tell a lot other than several police reports regarding domestic issues between Mallory and her husband, Bradly , and the final report where Mallory had been stabbed and her husband shot by the officer. It also revealed that her twins had died from the virus. He could tell Mallory didn't want to talk about it so he never brought it up. His heart went out to the young woman. While he had tragedy in his life, he still had his girls and a host of friends, Mallory didn't seem to even have many friends outside of work. He could tell she was well loved there, and Rios spoke very highly of her, but it seemed all she did was work, help Mike and his girls and go home. Mike just wanted to do something nice for her and he felt that it was going to be the first time in possibly her entire life that anyone had done anything for Mallory.

The rest of the day was spent decorating for Mallory's party, and figuring out who exactly was coming. Word had spread what Mike was trying to do, and Danny and Kara were going to be there, Russ was coming by, President Oliver and Maggie, Burke, Wolf, and Miller, Garnett and Jaffe were also stopping by. And it sounded like everyone was bringing some type of gift. Mike had texted Tom that he thought he might need to go to the store for more food.

Hannah and Emma were both excited about Mallory's party, Mike felt a little bad that they hadn't really celebrated Hannah's birthday but Hannah didn't seem to mind. She was just thrilled to be able to help Mallory out. Emma just loved the idea of having company, and even asked Mike if Danny could bring Molly to visit.

The girls had trouble settling down but it was due to excitement. He finally got them to go to sleep in his room watching a movie. Thank God they had gotten him such a big bed because his girls ended up in it more often than not. He had never agreed with co-sleeping and knew that it was probably not good due to the girl's ages but he frankly didn't care. He had spent a year and a half wondering if they were even alive and so if they wanted to sleep in his bed, he would allow it. There would come a day they wouldn't want to.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Mike got up about five am to start breakfast. Mallory generally showed up about 8:30, so he had plenty of time. It was more or less a surprise party. He had biscuits that he had made the night before, sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage, fried potatoes, and a couple fruit trays. The girls got up about 6:30 and both went ahead and got dressed. Hannah was having a good day and was actually walking around very well, but she did opt to stay off her feet so none of the blisters broke before her bandage change.

Tom, Sasha, Sam and Ashley came in about 7:30 and he made sure that Tom stayed out of the kitchen. He wanted it to be perfect for Mallory and Tom had no skills in the kitchen. Tom kept the kids occupied. A steady stream of people started coming in about 8. Fortunately several of the Nathan James crew lived on the same street, so cars could be parked in other drives.

Mike had given Mallory a key to the front door, and so when the last guest came in, Mike locked the door. Rios had texted him when Mallory left the hospital and that she was completely unsuspecting. When Mallory did finally pull in, and unlocked the front door, he could tell she seemed tired, but when she heard the yells of "Surprise," she immediately started tearing up. Both girls gave her a hug and led her to the recliner to sit down. Most of the guests, she didn't know but was outgoing enough to talk to everyone. Mike had fixed her a plate of breakfast and took it to her because the girls were keeping her in the recliner. Everyone else just served themselves.

The kitchen table was absolutely full of gifts. He knew there were several sets of scrubs, a bag to carry her gear in, spa sets, candles and all kinds of stuff. Sam and Ashley carried over all the presents and cards to her after she ate her breakfast. Mike had gently pulled his family's away from them so that she could open it a bit more privately. He suspected the card was going to cause all kinds of emotions and he didn't want to embarrass her in front of so many people.

She opened and read every card, and exclaimed over every single gift and gift card that she received. At one point, she made the remark that no one had ever bought her a birthday gift or had a birthday party for her. The house started clearing out, before the cake was ate. Most people didn't care for that much sugar so early in the morning. She hugged everyone that came and thanked them for what they had done. He had noticed that she seemed a bit more nervous hugging the men but she still did. He had worked with a lot of victims over the years and recognized the signs of her being severely physically abused but she managed to push through it, to thank everyone. Finally the house emptied out, with the exception of him and his girls and Mallory. He finally brought out the gift that they had picked out for her and Hannah handed it to her.

As with all the gifts, she opened the package first and then read the card. By the time she was done, tears were running down her face and she was almost sobbing. She hugged both the girls and Emma insisted she try on the shoes to make sure that they fit, and listen to her heart so they knew the stethoscope worked. Before it was all said and done, Emma had listened to her own heart, his heart, and Hannah's. No doubt that the stethoscope worked and Emma was fascinated.

Mike had started the clean up, and the girls had gone upstairs. Mallory had gone ahead and given Hannah a shower and changed the bandages. He could tell she was completely overwhelmed by everything and was struggling to come up with words. He had started carrying the presents to her car and when he opened the door, he found bedding in the backseat and there was a bag of clothes in the trunk. She was living in her car. He took the packages back in and set them on the table. Mallory was upstairs with the girls, braiding Emma's hair and he could hear all three of them laughing. He wasn't sure how to even deal with her living in her car. Hannah had mentioned to him that morning that the reason she was dieting was to save money for groceries because her rent had gone up. It was already so cold out, and he could not allow her to live in her car. He had an extra bedroom and he just needed to figure out a way to tell her that she would be staying with them.

She finally come downstairs and fortunately the girls were still up there, Mike didn't think he could talk to her about such a personal thing, around the girls. Mallory would likely be very embarrassed that he had figured it out. She started gathering up everything but Mike stopped her and told her they needed to talk. He hollered up and let the girls know that he would be in his office if they needed anything and guided Mallory in there, he did leave the French doors open because due to her history, he didn't want to scare her.

"Mallory, I was a cop before I joined the Navy, and so I tend to just sit back and observe people. I can tell you have been abused by a man at some point in your life and my guess is, he did a real number on you…but that is not what I want to talk to you about, it's personal. What I do want to talk to you about, is I went to put your presents in your car and found the bedding and the bag of clothes. That tells me, you have been living in your car, probably showering at work? How long?"

Mallory was looking at her hands and he could see the tears in her eyes. He came around the desk and sit down in the chair next to her's. He could tell she was embarrassed and upset.

"About a month, my landlord had seized the property after the Red Flu hit, and every month he raised the rent since I wouldn't have sex with him. I'm not sure what I am going to do when it starts getting colder, that's why I didn't mind staying with the girls, being here with them gives me a warm place to stay and its easier to sleep than in my car. I didn't have anywhere else to go, no family, and the friends I do have, I would never ask for help from. I am trying to save money to get another apartment but housing is kind of at a premium now and rent is massively expensive. Most landlords charge a huge fee for rent or expect certain things. Just not something I am willing to do, I'm not that desperate…yet. If you don't want me around the girls, I understand. What bothers me, is he locked me out of the apartment and won't let me get anything. It's probably gone now anyway but I just wanted a couple pictures of my babies. And he told me the only way I could have them is if I had sex with him. I am scared to death that I am going to forget what they looked like, and so I want the pictures. Does it make me a bad person, that I actually was considering it?"

Mike had never been so mad. He could understand where she was coming from, he had hundreds of pictures of Lucas but he had a fear that he would forget Lucas' voice, his laugh. He hurt for the young woman, and she was so scared that he would judge her for even considering it. He couldn't.

"No, it doesn't make you a bad person, and I understand it. I know you are going to say that you don't want to, but I want you to stay here, I have a guest bedroom that while not perfect, will be perfectly adequate. I have no expectations, I don't expect sex as a payment. I don't expect anything more out of you then what you've been doing. As far as the pictures are concerned, write down your address and your landlord's name. I will be taking care of that today. Do you mind staying with the girl's for a bit while I deal with it? You can go to sleep, Sasha and Kara are close by and the girls will be okay. I am taking Tom and Danny with me because I honestly don't want to end up in jail. And I am serious, Mallory, I want you to stay here with us. I know the girls will be thrilled."

Mallory nodded at him and when he handed her the pen and paper he could see that she was shaking. Mike wanted to respect her personal space but he felt horribly for her. As he walked beside her, he put an arm around her and side hugged her, it surprised him when she leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"Thank you, I don't know what to say. The party, all this, I just cant believe it, I've never had anyone do this for me, no one has ever told me that they love me or appreciated me and not expected something in return."

Mike got her settled and explained to the girls that he would be out for a bit and Mallory would be sleeping. The girls were playing a board game and seemed okay with everything, he had told them that Mallory would be staying with them for awhile and they seemed so happy.

Tom, Danny and Wolf met him at Tom's truck, they would ride together to the apartment. Wolf happened to have gone over to Danny's after the party, and when Mike called, was more then willing to help out. Danny had some trouble understanding how Mallory could forget what her kids looked like.

"Danny, I hope to God you never lose a child, it's a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But imagine if Frankie died and all you had left was his pictures, and someone wouldn't let you have them. It would make you desperate. I have a lot of pictures of Lucas that I can look at anytime I want to, but I do understand it because I'm already forgetting what his voice sounded like, what his laugh was like. The landlord tried to force Mallory to have sex with him to get the pictures back. Those pictures mean more to her then anything else. So yea, she would have been willing to have sex, but I can't allow it. I just hope you aren't ever put in the situation that you're scared you'll forget what your own child looked or sounded like. It's a special kind of hell."

The occupants of the truck went silent. Mike was thinking about Lucas, Danny was regretting what he said, Wolf was coming up with a game plan to keep Mike out of jail, and Tom was thinking about a home video of a beach outing with Mike's family. It had Lucas on it, along with Christine and Darian. He needed to get a copy of it made immediately. He had not realized that Mike was forgetting Lucas' voice and he could only imagine the pain of that, but it was the one thing he could fix somewhat. He would never ease the pain that Mike felt over Lucas' death but he could give him the memory of Lucas' voice and laugh back. He had to stop to get gas and he discreetly texted Sasha, she knew where the video was, and Alicia Granderson who said she could get the copy made immediately. She was still at Danny and Kara's and they happened to have the proper equipment.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Mike was glad that he had someone with him to stop him from doing something so stupid. Mallory's landlord was a piece of work. When he let him know that Mallory wanted the pictures back and he was there to get them, the man alleged that Mike must be really enjoying Mallory to go to all this trouble for a bunch of stupid pictures of a couple rugrats, and besides it wouldn't matter, he had burnt all of her belongings since she wouldn't give him the sex that she was obviously having with Mike. Mike didn't care about what he was saying about him, but it did bother him that he was basically calling Mallory a whore. If the four men spent anymore time around the greasy landlord, they were going to do something stupid. And so they started to leave, an older man who was in his early sixties stopped them, he had been in the background while they were talking to the landlord. The man was wearing a ball cap that stated he was a Vietnam veteran. Mike and Tom were both children of Vietnam veterans and hated the way that the world had forgotten those heroes and didn't appreciate them. While they wanted to get out of the apartment complex, they both felt compelled to talk to him.

The man's name was Matthew, he let them into his apartment, which was cluttered and there were pictures of his platoon on the walls. He had been a Marine, and the only one that came home, and there were times he wished he hadn't. All four men understood Matthew's sentiment. Mike wasn't sure if he was just needing someone to talk to or if there was an ulterior motive but he kind of liked the crusty old man.

"So the landlord is a jacka-, anyway, he only thought he was burning Mallory's pictures. It was just shoeboxes full of papers. He had left the apartment door open one day, and I snuck in and got them and replaced them with the papers. I wasn't able to get any of her other belongings but I knew the pictures of Allie and Liam were important, and I think there are a few of her sister too. None of her idiot of a husband, she needed to be rid of him anyway. Please tell me that wherever she is, she's safe now? I got into some Agent Orange in 'Nam and its caused all kinds of issues, anyway Mallory would help me with my medication, she's a sweet girl who has had way too much tragedy. She deserves to be taken care of, instead of being taken advantage of."

Mike assured the man that he was the one that had taken Mallory in, and that she had been helping with his sick daughter, and that there were no expectations for her staying at his house. He and Tom thanked Matthew for his service, and Matthew made the remark that no one had ever thanked him for serving, but he was still proud of the time he spent in the Marines. He didn't seem to know who they were, and the anonymity was refreshing.

Normally Mike would not have invaded Mallory's privacy by looking at the pictures but he was a little curious about the twins. She didn't talk about them and so he knew she was in a lot of pain over their deaths. It was a pain he understood all too well. The pictures stopped when the two adorable kids were about two, so Mike figured that was how old they were when they died. Lucas had only been five when he died and it seemed so unfair that such young children had died from the virus. They hadn't had a chance at life. He also saw pictures of Mallory and her sister. He could tell by the sister's pictures that she had cancer of some sort. She was the reason that Mallory advocated for his Emma and was beyond grateful for that, Mallory had been in Emma's shoes.

They finally got home, Kara, Alicia and Frankie had come over to make sure the girls had lunch since Mallory was upstairs sleeping. He had noticed that Alicia slipped Tom what looked like a dvd, but Frankie was fussing and so Mike had taken him to get him settled. He could tell it sometimes frustrated Kara that Mike could get the boy calmed when she couldn't, but Kara and Danny were still nervous and Frankie sensed it, Mike had been when Hannah was little too, but had lost that nervousness after having three kids.

Everyone finally left, except Tom, he seemed to be hanging around. The girls were both wore out and ended up sacked out on the couch, and Tom had guided Mike towards his office. He could tell there was something on Tom's mind and he figured it had something to do with the dvd, Tom didn't seem bothered with the idea of Mike moving Mallory into his house.

"When you were talking in the truck about forgetting Lucas' voice, I could tell it bothered you. I can't help you much with what you're going through where Lucas and Christine are concerned but I can help you remember their voices and laughs. We had taken the kids to Virginia Beach just before we shipped out to the Arctic and Darian loved videoing everything. When I went through the Norfolk house, I found the video. I kept it so the kids would be able to hear Darian, and not forget her voice, and I had Alicia make a copy of it for you. I know it will be hard to watch it, and I honestly think it might be a good idea to hold off on letting the girls watch it, keep it to yourself for a bit. I'm sorry I can't do more to help you. "

"Thank you. This is incredible, Tom. That day was such a fun day. Remember Sammy and Lucas burying you and I in the sand? They thought it was so funny. I had sand in crevices I didn't even know I had. And Lucas got so sunburnt. He hated when Christine put the sunscreen on, because I didn't use any, and he thought he should be just like me. Is this ever going to stop hurting, ever going to get any better?"

Tom felt for his friend, but was glad that Mike was remembering happy memories. He knew that Mike had felt upset at himself for feeling such anger at Lucas for dying. He didn't have the answers that Mike needed. He knew that Mike would hurt for the rest of his life, that Lucas dying would shape everything that Mike would do. It had changed the way Mike parented the girls, it changed the way Mike dealt with people when they needed help. He knew that Christine's death also was a devastating blow and Mike sometimes excused the fact that he didn't feel he was grieving for her, because their marriage was troubled. Tom knew that there had been talk of a divorce and that the plan was, when Mike returned from the Arctic, he and Christine would be going into marriage counseling but then the world went crazy, they had, had trouble for awhile. Despite that, Mike loved Christine and missed her.

"Mike, I don't think you're going to ever stop hurting, but you will be able to move through it, you will always have the pain, but you will get use to it, and the memories like the one where you and I were buried in the sand, will make the sad things, seem okay. I am not an expert on this, and I obviously have never lost a child. You have now and seeing you go through it hurts. You know if I can help in anyway, to call."

Mike thanked him, and put the dvd into his desk drawer. He wasn't quite ready to watch it because he would be seeing and hearing Christine and Lucas, but he would also see Hannah and Emma when they were healthy and vibrant. Emma had woke up when Tom left and was just laying on the couch. Mike sat down next to her and she sit down on his lap.

"So are you okay with Mallory living here?" Mike asked her, he was intending on asking Hannah too.

"Yea, Im okay with it. The only thing I'm not sure of, is when she moves into your room with you, Hannah and I won't be able to come in and sleep in your bed or wake you up in the morning. I won't like that too much."

"She is staying in the extra bedroom, not my room. Where would you get that idea?" Mike was confused by Emma's statement.

Emma scrunched her nose up at him, and in a very serious tone said, "Oh she may stay in there for awhile, but eventually she'll move into your room and you'll get married and then you'll have to use the extra room for the babies you guys have…I want another baby brother by the way."

Mike was completely confused and shocked. Emma had apparently decided since Mallory was moving in, that her and Mike were going to get married. He had only just found out that Christine had died less than two weeks before and was very much grieving her loss. He was in no way ready for a relationship, marriage and babies. Emma was obviously okay with the idea and had interpreted Mallory moving in as a relationship between her and Mike, something Mike needed to get cut off at the pass.

"Em, I just found out about your mom, I can't think about getting married again or having more babies right now. I love your mom and it's too soon for me to think about it. I like Mallory just fine, as a friend. And I am having her move in because its much safer here for her, than where she was staying and plus I need some help with you and especially Hannah. I still feel like I'm neglecting you, and having Mallory here more will help me spend more time with you and be more of a dad to Hannah instead of a caretaker."

Emma just smiled at him and scrunched up her nose, "Daddy, Mom would want you to be happy and you won't be happy if you're alone. Me and Hannah want you to be happy too, and we really like Mallory. I promise, the two of you are gonna get married and have more babies. Besides in the card you wrote for her birthday, you told her you loved her. When you love someone like that, you get married. Duh!"

Emma jumped off his lap and went upstairs, not even realizing how confused she had left Mike or the fact that Hannah had woke up and heard the biggest part of the conversation.

"She's right, you know? Mom would want you to be happy and to move on. She'd really like Mallory. She has been dead for almost seven months and you seem kind of lonely. Maybe its time to date again? I would a lot rather see you with Mallory than someone we don't know. Plus she is really pretty and nice. I know she seems scared of you, but that's only because of her husband being so mean to her. I know you'll treat her good, and than she wont be so scared of you. I do think Emma is kind of jumping ahead with the marriage and babies thing, but I don't mind if she moved into your bedroom, and I don't think she would mind if we come in and wake you up sometimes. I think it's a good idea."

Mike was completely flabbergasted, he had not figured this was the way the girls would interpret Mallory moving in. Yea, Mallory was pretty and as bad as he felt about Christine, he did feel a little bit of an attraction to her. But she had been through hell in her previous relationship and he noticed that she was somewhat scared of him. Neither of them were ready for a relationship, him due to grief over his dead wife, and her because her husband had been so abusive. He would guess due to her age, that her husband was probably the only man she had been with, and he had set a bad example. Mike had dealt with abused women when he was a cop, and he had observed that many times, they would get out of one abusive relationship and go to another relationship that was equally as damaging. He could set her up with anyone of his friends, and he knew they would treat her well, but she wasn't ready for that. None of his friends would ever abuse a woman, but he didn't want her in a situation she wasn't ready for. He just couldn't figure out why he felt an attraction to her, and wondered if she had noticed it too…but he would never admit it either. He had only just found out about Christine less than two weeks before and she had been the love of his life. He couldn't already be attracted to another woman? Or maybe he was interpreting the appreciation that he felt towards her as attraction. Either way, he wasn't ready even if the girls thought he should be. He was going to have to warn Mallory though.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Mallory was scheduled to go into work at midnight, and so Mike made a point to stay up. He had a supper plated up for her to eat either beforehand or to take to work with her. She got up about the same time that the girls were falling asleep and told them both good night. Mike had gone downstairs while she showered and got ready, he had to figure out how to talk to her about what the girls were saying. He didn't want her blindsided.

She choose to eat before work because she never knew if she would have a lunchbreak. She could tell Mike was antsy about something, but couldn't figure out what.

"So are the girls okay with me staying here? I am enjoying it, I slept better than I have in a long time. I was surprised how quiet you all were. I knew I didn't have to worry about my landlord sneaking into my apartment when I was sleeping, it felt safe, and I've never had that."

"The girls are more than okay with you being here which is what I need to talk to you about. I am serious about there not being any expectations for you staying here. Definitely not any sexual expectations. I don't feel that I'm ready for anything however my girls have decided that since you've moved in, you will eventually move into my room, we'll get married and have babies in Emma's words. I have no idea where they've come up with that at, but I just wanted you to know. Emma is pretty insistent on it. It's actually a little embarrassing."

Mallory started laughing, because she could see Emma giving Mike the business about it. She knew Mike wasn't ready and honestly she wasn't either. Her husband had routinely beat her and was demanding and rough in the bedroom. He would have never made sure she had a plate of dinner before work. She could tell Mike was extremely uncomfortable, that it was even being suggested, she knew Mike had no expectations.

"Duly noted. It's kind of sweet. I know you don't expect anything like that and I appreciate that. I'm not ready either, and it would be odd. Your girls are beyond precious for thinking it, and I'm glad they are okay with me being here. They love you a lot and they want you to be happy. I will deflect any comments that are made."

Mike was still uncomfortable about the whole situation, but at least Mallory knew and understood that there were not any expectations. He gave her the pictures and explained that it was Matthew who had rescued them. She had teared up and excused herself to put them in her room but not before she gave him a hug. She was still a little uncomfortable and scared around him but he was forming a plan to help her with her confidence.

He grabbed her keys while she was upstairs and went out and started her car and removed the ice from the windshield. He was a little worried about her driving home in the morning because of possible ice on a bridge between the hospital and the house and her tires were not in good shape. He thought about letting her take his truck but knew she would reject that. He wrote the size of the tires down on a slip of paper and decided he would be ordering her tires rather she liked it or not. It was not safe to drive with bald tires, he would do the same for Christine, or in reality anyone of his friends.

As she was leaving, he told her to call or text when she got to work and to do the same in the morning so he knew when she was on the road. She didn't even try to argue with him, just nodded as he opened and shut the car door. She had never had anyone take care of her like Mike and his girls did. She truly felt safe.

Mike went back inside and cleaned up the kitchen and locked up the downstairs, he checked on both girls, adjusted Hannah's oxygen and put an extra blanket on both their beds. It was bitterly cold out. As he was getting ready for bed, Mallory texted him that she was at work and thanks for all that he was doing. Mike couldn't understand what it might be like to never have had someone to take care of you, never love you, never help. It was sad, and overwhelming.

About three am, Emma came in and got in bed with him. She said she was okay, and had actually had a good dream, but wouldn't tell him what it was, and wanted to stay with him. He didn't mind. She had curled herself around him and was sound asleep very quickly. She had all but forgotten him asking her if she thought it best that she live elsewhere. Mike was terrified that it would still come back to haunt him so all he could do was treasure the moments like this.

Hannah ended up waking him up about five am due to some pain. He had hoped she was getting past the pain but she had gone pretty hard the last couple days. He gave her the oral painkillers and insisted she stay with him and Emma. Before he even realized it, he was sandwiched in the middle of the two of them and they were both curled around him. Mike didn't sleep soundly after that, mostly due to the awkward position he was in, and being concerned about Hannah and Emma.

He finally got up about six thirty and let the girls stay in his bed. After showering, shaving and checking on Hannah again, he went downstairs to start breakfast. Mallory texted him shortly after eight that she was headed home but was going to stop by a store to get blackout curtains for her room. He told her if she wanted to pick out some paint chips too, he would repaint the room. It was white and was kind of impersonal.

Hannah was doing better when she woke up, and was really excited about her violin lesson later that day. He hadn't thought about it when he had Mallory move in, but it might be a little disruptive for her sleep schedule. He could put them in his office though, but he was really enjoying the idea of hearing and seeing Hannah play. He would have to ask Mallory when she got home if the violin music would bother her.

She came in about nine with the curtains and some paint samples that she thought Mike might like. When Mike explained to her, it was her room and she could paint it whatever color she liked, she showed him a light green that she liked. It would coordinate with the curtains she had picked. After breakfast, she and Hannah went into his room for the shower and bandage change while he hung the curtains up. Emma was full of ideas for Mallory's room, she wanted it be nice. He had decided to get her a new bedroom set, he needed something better for in the guest room anyway. Mallory had commented several times on the white bedroom sets in the girls' bedrooms.

He texted Kara and told her what he had planned and needed help…again. The plan was he and the girls would sneak out after Mallory went to bed and they would meet at the store to get the bedroom set picked out, and she would help him pick out a comforter and rug for it. Hannah was doing pretty well and he would just put her in the wheelchair so she was exerting herself too much. The girls wanted to be a part of it.

Mallory finally laid down about ten am, and Mike quickly got the girls bundled up and in the truck. Hannah was pretty pale but she was determined to be a part of what they were doing. She was proud of Mike for taking such good care of Mallory and helping her. Kara and Frankie met them at the furniture store, and picked out a rustic white queen sized bedroom set, new mattress and boxed springs, night stands, and a dresser and mirror.

Thankfully, there was a home décor store and paint store close by and Kara helped Mike pick out a bedspread, bedding and rug. They also picked out a painting for above the bed. Hannah had found out that Mallory loved the Rocky Mountains and the painting was a landscape. They also picked out some frames for the pictures of her kids and sister. The paint color was picked out and bought. The girls had told him that they were getting hungry and Frankie needed to be changed. Mike insisted that Kara go with them to lunch. She had done a lot for him and the girls and he needed her and Sasha's help to give Mallory's confidence a jolt.

While the girls were playing with Frankie, Mike explained to Kara that he wanted Mallory to have a makeover, hair, make up and clothes. Other than her scrubs, Mallory had no other clothes. And he also wanted her to take some self defense classes, and felt she would feel better if a woman taught them. He could easily teach her how to defend herself but given her circumstances, it might be a bit uncomfortable. He had plans of taking her to the range and teaching her how to fire a handgun. He could tell Kara had something on her mind, and so he asked her if she thought he was doing too much for a stranger, and he did tell her what the girls thought.

"No sir, I don't. Mallory is an amazing person and she has had a rough go. What you're doing for her, it will impact the rest of her life. As far as what the girls think, maybe they are giving you their permission? I realize that you have only known about Christine's death for a couple weeks and she has only been gone for six months, but you had been gone for a year before that. You had all but given up the hope that she had died, so in a lot of ways, you had already gone through the grieving process. Maybe its right that you move on. Sir, I apologize if I've overstepped and it certainly was not my position or my intention, and I will be completely discreet about all of this. I truly think its an amazing thing you've done, and I will get together with Sasha on the makeover, do you care if we include Alicia?"

Mike was a little shocked at how blunt Kara was but was happy that she felt comfortable being so honest. He let her know that he did appreciate her candor and discretion and was in no way offended and to include whoever they felt would contribute. He did let her know that he was not ready for anything beyond a friendship at this point.

They barely made it home before Hannah's violin lesson, and as badly as Mike wanted to listen to Hannah play, he needed to keep the noise level down for the day sleeper in the house, and so he shut the door in his office so that the violin music wasn't heard all over the house.

He had to make a plan to get the room pulled together while Mallory was at work that night. The furniture was quietly delivered and stored in the garage. He had mentioned needing help getting it moved in but would have to wait until Mallory left at seven thirty for her twelve hour shift. Wolf immediately said he would help and would draft a couple of the guys. Kara had already planned on coming over and helping. The girls were thrilled because they would get to help.

He did take advantage of a little time with Emma. She was still regaining strength, and wore out almost as easily as Hannah. He would have loved to take her out to play soccer but instead curled up on the couch with her and watched a movie. She was not overly talkative but it was out of exhaustion. He knew Tom and Emma's talk had helped her a lot but she still seemed a bit upset sometimes, but at least with Mallory being there, he would have a bit more time for her. He was beginning to wonder if there was something more wrong then his conversation with her, she seemed to get upset when Christine or Lucas was mentioned. Danny had texted him that he needed another couple days with Molly and than she would be ready. Mike was beyond ready to see Emma's face when she was handed the dog. He felt that it might help Emma a bit.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Hannah's violin lesson went perfectly, and he could tell both she and Wolf enjoyed it immensely. Emma had finally fell asleep in his arms and while Mike probably should have laid her down and went on about his day, he just hated to. Wolf understood and gestured for him to just stay sitting. They would be back at about seven thirty to get the room set up. Hannah had ended up in the recliner asleep. Both girls had an exhausting day and their night was going to be long too.

Emma woke up just as Mike was drifting off, and she tried to put her blanket over him, but when his eyes opened back up, she smiled at him.

"I love you, Daddy and I am really glad you decided I could stay here, just hope you don't change your mind."

"I love you too, Emma, I never really wanted you to live somewhere else, I just hated how much I was pushing you away. I would have never forgiven myself if I let you go. I just hope it gets better now, that I have more time since Mallory will be here. Don't ever think I suggested it because I didn't love or want you, it was because I love you so much and wanted the best for you. I just felt like I couldn't provide it. And I'm not changing my mind."

Emma gave him a big hug and kiss and started tickling him. He really needed to start dinner but this was much more important. He had not done this type of thing before the plague and it weighed on him. Lucas had only known him as uptight and strict but the girls would know him differently.

He had supper on the table when Mallory came downstairs and she ate before she left for work. She was a little quieter but said it was because she hated twelve hour shifts but the overtime was nice. She had asked Mike about rent, and he told her to just save her money because of the help she had given Hannah. He didn't miss the look Hannah and Emma exchanged but choose to ignore it. She kissed both girls good night and squeezed his shoulder as she walked by. As soon as she walked out the door, they all busted up laughing.

He didn't want Hannah upstairs due to the paint fumes so she agreed to stay down in his office framing some the pictures on Mallory's kids. She wanted to help do something. Emma had decided that Mallory needed a picture for her room and that kept her from being underfoot. Wolf, Burke, Tom, Kara and Danny showed up with Frankie and Kara stayed downstairs with Frankie and the girls while the guys painted and moved furniture. Her job wouldn't start until the paint was dried. Fortunately Mike had gotten a quick drying paint and the furniture was set away from the walls with fans blowing.

While they waited for the paint to dry, they all sit down around the kitchen table with beers. Hannah was still in the office but Emma had come in with them and was sitting on his lap, drinking a root beer. Someone made a comment that Mallory was going to love her room and so Emma decided to stick her foot directly in Mike's mouth.

"She'll love it, but I don't think she'll stay in there long. She is gonna end up staying in Daddy's room, and they'll get married and have babies, but the light green will look good for either a baby girl or boy, although I want them to have a boy."

Mike had covered his face with his face in embarrassment and everyone was laughing hysterically. Emma didn't quite understand their reactions and choose that moment to run off towards the office.

"Kids say the darndest things, huh, Mike? I am just wondering what Emma's time frame is? Maybe you should have bought baby furniture instead today?" Tom decided to make light of Emma's comment, because he knew that Mike was slightly embarrassed. He knew Mike felt he wasn't ready for a relationship so soon after finding out about Christine's death.

"Yea, sorry about that…Emma has let her imagination run away and I really have no explanation for that…"

Mike didn't embarrass easily and so to see him like this really hilarious, however the only one that would dare to comment was Tom. Everyone else just laughed, but Tom had already decided he was going to help Emma out a bit and play matchmaker, Mike and Mallory just didn't know. He was going to slow her down a bit, he could tell Mike was uncomfortable with the idea.

They finished with the bedroom and Kara went to work and she made a comment when the time came, she would be happy to help with baby boy's nursery. Mike just rolled his eyes and left the room to change Hannah' bandanges and tuck Emma in before the little girl completely embarrassed him. Tom caught Emma before went to her room and told her if she really wanted Mike and Mallory together, and Hannah was okay with it, he would help, however he thought they needed to be a bit patient.

"Oh, yeah! I know Hannah loves Mallory and I do too! Daddy is a little stubborn and he needs help to make his mind up!"

Emma was so serious when she told Tom that, and everyone started laughing again. Mike didn't know it, but he had a half dozen matchmakers in his house and by the end of the week, that number would be tripled. Kara and Sasha had already discussed what the makeover was going to consist of, and they knew that might help things along. Mallory was a beautiful woman without fancy clothes or makeup, but when they got done she would be a knock-out. Plus Kara was looking forward to helping Sasha teach Mallory some self defense moves. They were not only going to improve her outward appearance but also the way she felt about herself on the inside. Neither woman had ever been in an abusive situation, but it was something that could happen to anyone and they wanted to make sure that Mallory would never be in that position again, and if she ended up with Mike, she wouldn't be.

Mike suspected that the girls were conspiring with Tom on how to play matchmaker, and decided to just leave it be. They meant well, and it was coming from a place of love. He wasn't completely against the idea, he just felt he owed Christine a little more time.

Hannah's bandage change went beautifully despite the fact that she had been on her feet a lot that day, she was tired but not complaining of any pain. She was excited to see Mallory's reaction to the room and had really enjoyed her violin lesson. She tried to convince Mike to let her sleep without the oxygen, but Mike insisted she leave it on until they had talked to Rios, or at the very least, Mallory. He was afraid that she was over-exerting herself, and she was upset because he was back to being the caretaker, instead of just dad. It kind of shocked Mike, but she even acted a little like a typical teenage girl, all sulky and mad. He shouldn't indulge either of the girls when they acted out, but it was so hard to get onto them, two weeks beforehand, he didn't even know if they were alive.

Emma went to bed without much fuss and they had put Frankie in the playpen in Mike's bedroom. It didn't take much to get the room up to Kara's standards. The reason Mallory had worked a twelve hour shift that night was to give herself sometime off on Saturday and Sunday. Kara and Sasha had planned that day to take Mallory for her makeover. Mike hadn't told Mallory anything about that plan.

After a fair amount of joking about converting the room back into a nursery eventually and Kara and Sasha taking Mallory to a lingerie store and them asking Mike what he wanted to see her in, everyone left, it was fun to joke about but they all knew Mike wasn't really ready. Tom was still going to help Emma play matchmaker, but he would also be careful about it, as an adult he knew and understood some of the emotions at play, where Emma did not. Frankie fussed a bit but eventually calmed down and went with his parents. It was a little after one am, and Mike locked up, checked on both girls and went to bed himself. He was exhausted too but looking forward to Mallory's reaction.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Mallory came home exhausted, she would have to do another twelve hour shift that night and so she ate a fast breakfast and got Hannah showered. Mike told her not to worry about Hannah's bandages, he would take care of them,to just go in and sleep. Neither girl or Mike let on that the bedroom had been redecorated.

When Mallory walked into the bedroom and flipped the light on, she was completely shocked. The bedroom was beautiful. Painted the light green that she had picked out, there was new bedroom furniture, a new bedspread that was a green with blues, yellows, reds and browns in it. There was a side chair and table with a reading lamp. There were a few pictures of her twins placed here and there. Her favorite one was sitting on the dresser, the one that the nurse had taken when she had them. Her husband hadn't showed up for the labor and delivery, and so it was up to the nurse to coach Mallory through the difficult birth.

Mike, Hannah and Emma were in his bedroom while he changed the bandages and he noticed Mallory walk in, but figured she was just checking on Hannah before she went to bed. Mallory leaned down and gave both girls a kiss on the forehead and thanked them for her bedroom being redone and gave Mike a hug. She was completely overwhelmed by everything and didn't have words.

"You've done a lot for us, and it's the least we could do, besides the bedroom needed to be redone anyway. I will warn you, Kara and Sasha are planning on taking you out Saturday after you've had some sleep. Something about getting your hair done, make up, clothes, all that stuff. Its on me, so you enjoy. And no arguments. They will also be working with you on some self defense moves soon, they are both very good teachers and I think its something you'll benefit from. I am also planning on taking you to the range at some point and teaching you how to shoot. Given my position with the government, and some of the things that I have done, I've made some enemies and I would prefer that you know how to defend yourself in case something happens when Im not here. It's unlikely but not impossible."

Mallory agreed and went on bed. She had decided to just go with whatever Mike decided. It was not worth argueing about anyway. She wasn't sure why he had decided to help her the way he was but it was nice to be taken care of for a change. It was the first time in her life that she ever felt like she was a part of something, a family. Although she really wasn't a member of their family, Mike didn't seem to have any reservations about treating her as such. The girls seemed happy with everything that was going on and to her that was all that really mattered.

Mike spent the rest of the day , just cuddling with the girls. He had a mountain of cleaning and laundry to do, but they were both a bit worn down from the night before, and Hannah did have some pain. He finally convinced her to take an oral painkiller about ten, and she ended up on the couch with him and Emma. They hadn't even bothered to change out of their pajamas. Lunch ended up being soup in coffee mugs and grilled cheese sandwiches. Hannah had an appointment with Rios the next day to check her progress.

Her feet were slowly healing, and she had gained some weight back. She was still a lot weaker than Mike would like her to be and he knew that she was getting frustrated. They had already spoke with the school and Emma would be going back when the school started back after Christmas, and would be in Sammy's class. She was behind in almost everything but the teacher had told Mike that was the norm now and not to worry about it. Hannah would take longer to get back to school and Mike had already hired tutors to homeschool her until she could. They would also be starting after Christmas break. Tom had insisted that he would step in for Mike until at least the first of January and if necessary, he would afterwards. Mike knew that Hannah would still have some bad days where he would end up working from home and he was glad that Tom and President Oliver understood it.

Emma was so thrilled to be starting back to school and talked about it almost constantly. She was more of a social butterfly then what Hannah was. Mike almost hated to let her go to school because it would mean less "Emma Days" but she was so excited about it. He was scared that the thoughts of him giving her up would creep back in, as much as Emma said she had forgiven and forgotten them, he felt they would always play a role in their lives. It was a scar on their relationship. Emma was really an amazing young girl and rarely mentioned it, and if Mike would bring it up, she would clap her hand over his mouth and shush him. She refused to think about it, dwell on it. But it was never too far from Mike's thoughts, not that he would give her up, but that he had thought about it, considered it. If Emma wasn't so forgiving, it would have seriously damaged their relationship, even if Mike hadn't given her up. It was all about Emma's personality.

He finally wiggled his way away from both girls to fix dinner. Emma ended up waking up and decided to help him cook dinner. She really wasn't much help but he didn't mind. She would set on the counter next to the stovetop and would help him pour stuff in…sometimes too much salt or pepper, but oh well. She was happy just spending time with him and it was easy to include her.

Mallory came down about 5:30, he could see she was exhausted but she said the bed was just so comfortable, and the paint color was so relaxing. She had a twelve hour shift that night and then an eight hour evening shift the next day. She had asked Mike several times about paying for the room or rent and Mike finally just told her to save her money, he wanted her to stay there because she was helping him with his girls, that was payment enough.

Hannah had asked her about sleeping without her oxygen, and Mallory knew Mike was not in favor of the idea yet and it honestly was not a good idea. What Mike, Rios and Mallory didn't want to tell the girl was that it could be a permanent fixture in her bedroom. She wanted to have a normal life, and Mike wanted that for her too, but her lungs were severely damaged. The scars from the burns and being whipped would fade, she would gain the weight back, but the psychological scars and the damage to her lungs would never fade. Mike hated watching it, he could deal with the health issues but the frustration bothered him. He didn't have an answer for it. He had never been a patient person, but it required him to be. Mallory had the patience of a saint with both girls, she actually reminded him a little of Christine in that respect.

Mallory headed to work, and the girls helped him clean the kitchen up. Emma was going to stay with Kara the next day while Mike and Hannah went to her doctor's appointment. Mike was afraid it was going to be very difficult for Hannah, Rios was already aware that she was wanting to go off the oxygen and was consulting with a lung doctor. He knew he should have gotten Hannah the best specialist that he could, but he also liked her seeing a doctor that Mike knew and was personally invested. He knew Rios was consulting with the best that there was, and if he got in over his head, he would pull another doctor in.

They would be doing some lung x-rays and tests on her lung capacity. Rios had also mentioned having a counselor talk to Hannah and possibly Emma. Mike was not against the idea at all, God knew the girls needed help that he couldn't provide. But when he mentioned it, both girls completely disagreed with the idea. If they wanted to talk to someone, maybe they could talk to Father Matthew, or possibly Russ. They were comfortable with Russ and he had visited a couple different times. Mike was not going to force either girl to talk to someone that they didn't know about something, so deeply personal. Hannah didn't have an issue telling Mike when something was bothering her, Emma was a bit tougher because she was still a little scared that if she complained Mike would make her live somewhere else. It was a mindfield with both girls, but they seemed to be muddling through.

Emma actually opted to go to bed first, and while he was tucking her in, she was fidgeting with the picture of the two of them when she was a baby, it had gotten crumpled up and Mike had laid it on her nightstand. He knew something was on her mind, but she had asked him to not bring letting her live elsewhere up constantly.

"Daddy, Uncle Tom said that if you had given me up, it would have really hurt you, is that true? I know you're not going to now, but I wouldn't want you to be hurt. I'm just curious."

"Emma, I didn't want to give you up, still don't. I had only brought it up because I wasn't able to give you the attention you deserve. Yes, if I had gone through with it, I would have never gotten over it. But I don't think I could have. Uncle Tom told me that it would be like losing a second child, only it would hurt worse than Lucas dying because I would have choose it. And you would be out there , and I couldn't have you back. Even if you had gone to Uncle Tom, he would have had trouble letting me have you back, simply because he would be afraid I would hurt you again. But, its not an issue now, because you aren't going anywhere, this is your home and now that Mallory is living here, it means I get to spend more time with both of you girls, just being your dad which is all I've ever wanted. I love you, Emma."

She nodded at him and yawned. "I love you too, Daddy. I really like having Mallory here, she reminds me a little bit of Mom. And if you and her get married and have babies, maybe you'll have one like Lucas, so you won't be so sad."

"Mallory can't replace your mom, not for me and not for you girls. She and I have not even discussed any of your plans because I'm not ready. I still miss your mom and I'm not ready to move on. As far as my being sad about Lucas, a new baby isn't going to help with that. I would love that baby, but I could never replace Lucas. There will be days that I am sadder, his birthday, Christmas, when certain memories come up, but I will never be able to replace him. But on those sad days, I will still have good memories and I will still have you girls. I will cry from time to time but you and Hannah will make me smile. When and if I am ready to start dating, it won't be to replace your mom, she will always have a special piece of my heart. She gave me three beautiful children and some of the best years of my life. But I am glad I would have your blessing. Now its bedtime, wake me up if you need anything, ok?"

She nodded at him, "Daddy, I wish you didn't have to be so sad about Lucas and Mom all the time. It doesn't seem fair. But I'm glad me and Hannah can make you happy. I love you and good night."

He kissed her good night and told her he loved her again. It bothered him that she was so bothered that he was sad, but it was just typical Emma. Always worried about someone else. It was one of the many reasons that so many people loved her.

Hannah settled pretty easily, her bandage change went well, and the blisters were almost completely healed. She was still arguing not wanting the oxygen but at least she didn't sulk when he told her she had to have it on. She had starting needing it less and less, but at night she did still wheeze from time to time, which always scared Mike. He knew that Mallory and Rios were worried about her being out in the dead of winter, expecting a setback. All he could do was pray it didn't happen. She had been studying a little getting ready for school, and seemed genuinely excited about being homeschooled and was thrilled with her violin lessons. Mike just wished he could find something that he and Hannah could do together that didn't involve bandage changes, or being worried about her breathing. He was clueless, but he knew that there were times Hannah just wanted him to be her dad. Having Mallory around helped some with that, but it didn't solve everything, because from time to time, it was Mike that had to tell her that she couldn't do something and then she got mad at him, and he was in the caretaker mode.

"So I was doing some checking, there is an indoor gym, has a basketball court and swimming pool. Rios has been adamant that you not play basketball outside, but hasn't said anything about not playing at all, and has mentioned swimming might help too. I know that you are wanting to spend some one on one time with me, and we are limited with what we could do, but we might be able to play some basketball, just you and me. Tomorrow might be a little hard after your appointment, but we can see what we can do."

"Do you want to play basketball or go swimming?"

"I want to spend time with you that doesn't involve bandaging or adjusting oxygen, not that I mind that stuff, but yea, I would much rather play basketball or swim. Much more fun. But I want you to want to do it. If you would rather do something else, then I will see what I can come up with. I know you're getting frustrated and I don't have any other answer for it. I wish I could fix this for you, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, and I do blame myself. I am trying to just be your dad, because that is what I want and I know you want it too. I love you, and I hate that you have to go through all this medical stuff. It isn't fair. "

Hannah had listened to everything he said, and instead of talking just leaned forward and hugged him. He could tell she was crying, and he figured it was out of just pure frustration. All he could do was hold her and let her know how much he loved her. Despite the frustration, she was taking everything amazingly well. He would be mad as hell if he had to go through what she was, and be constantly told no.

"I don't know about basketball anymore, but the swimming sounds good, do you think I can go under water? I know you can swim but I'm not sure if I can even remember how to. I would slow you down…"

Despite her hesitation, she was genuinely excited and smiling. Mike was a skilled swimmer and he wouldn't allow her to do anything that would put her in danger. He assured her that she would remember how to swim, and he would have Mallory find a swimsuit, which in the winter would be interesting, not to mention that he was very particular about what his daughter wore. He would much rather if she was going to swim, it would be with him, not some lifeguard who didn't understand her issues. He had a lot more training than they would anyhow.

"Good night, sweetie, remember wake me up if you need anything. I look forward to being able to swim or whatever else you decide. I am already planning on us eating out tomorrow, so figure out what you want, your choice. I love you."

"Love you too, and by the way, you are doing a really good job with all this. I know you've been kind of overwhelmed and you and Emma have been going through some stuff, but we both think you're doing really good. Mom would be so proud of you! Also thank you for having Mallory move in, I really love having her here. Good night!"

Mike was a little shocked by her statement, he honestly thought he was doing horribly with both girls. He was either bumbling things up with Hannah or with Emma. He thanked her, kissed her goodnight and reminded her to wake him up if she needed something.


	36. Chapter 36

**I don't know much of anything about skin graphs so I might be completely wrong on all of it, so give me some artistic license here please! Please review!**

 **Chapter 36**

The appointment went much better than Mike anticipated. Hannah's lung capacity was almost completely normal. The lung doctor was also there and encouraged the swimming, but not the basketball yet. He agreed that if Hannah could stay inside, that was best, especially during the winter. She asked him about the oxygen at night, and he told her that she could try it, but not to get frustrated if Mike ended up putting it back on her in the middle of the night. Mike still used the baby monitors so that wouldn't be an issue, he knew he would have some pretty restless nights full of worry without her on oxygen but he also knew it was a matter of independence for her.

The blisters on her feet looked incredible and Rios said that they could go to just monitoring them, no bandaging twice daily unless one of the blisters popped back open. Rios gave her some cream for the scars on her back, feet, underarms, and legs. Rios and a nurse had examined the scar on her back because sometimes scars like that would break back open, and it was the first time Mike had actually looked at it. It made him sick. The burn scars would fade, but the one from the whip was a keloid scar, and there was no fixing that. He and Rios stepped out while the nurse helped Hannah with her clothes.

"I know it sounds stupid considering everything, but that scar on her back? Will it fade? I know it's a keloid and I have more than a few of those, but I HATE her having one. There has to be something you can do? A lotion or cream? I'd rather she not go through any procedures, but that shouldn't stay with her for the rest of her life. "

Rios had listened to him patiently, he could tell Mike was angry and Mike's temper was volatile at best, and this was concerning his very ill daughter so that upped the ante.

"I hate telling you this, but yea, the scar will be there forever. I will talk to a plastic surgeon who has worked with domestic violence victims who have been scarred. She is amazing and might have a solution, however it may involve a skin graph and I am not sure given her general health, Hannah could have her skin taken, would you be willing? Her blood type is obviously the same as yours, and it would be easy for her to heal up from it if she didn't have to provide the skin. You would have a great deal of pain, but I am sure you would be happy to endure it. I can't say for sure, that it's the answer, but it would be the normal treatment…"

"Call the surgeon and get whatever needs to be set up. I'm off until the first of the year but can take time off further out if need be. She won't be in any pain? I don't care about me, but I don't want her to hurt. Won't the skin tones matter? She is dark complected, and I'm lighter complected…"

"I'll talk to Dr. Wilson, the skin in that area might be a little discolored post procedure but it will still look better. Sir, you need to be prepared, they will take a portion of skin from your hip or possibly your calf, given the size of her scar, at least 8 inches long and 3 to 4 inches wide. It will be extremely painful and you need to be prepared. It won't be bad for her, but for you? It will be agonizing. They normally use skin from the victim but given Hannah's situation, it would be best to use a donor and since you're her father, you're her best option. I just don't want you thinking this will be easy. I understand your reasoning, and in your shoes…yeah, I would do the same thing. Let's get some blood work on you just to make sure you are completely healthy. Do you want to tell Hannah or wait until you know for sure?"

Mike choose to wait, not because he was concerned about his pain, but he was adamant that Hannah not hurt. Rios took blood from him on the guise that he needed to do a check up since Mike had endured so many blood donations in Takehaya's camp. Hannah knew Mike had been a p.o.w. and didn't question it, other than out of concern for Mike. They both assured her that all the tests that had been done previously had come up clean, and there were not any symptoms, it was just a matter of safety. Hannah was still concerned but seemed to let it go.

They choose to go to the burger diner that Mike had taken Hannah too when they were getting Mallory's birthday gifts. At first Mike thought it was because Hannah knew they had a private dining room and the waitress was patient but then Hannah told him she didn't care about that stuff, she just wanted some more pumpkin pie. She had apparently worked up an appetite, because she ate her cheeseburger, all of her onion rings, part of his French fries, a strawberry milk shake, a piece of pumpkin pie and part of his piece of chocolate pie. She had left the hospital weighing 72 pounds, lost 3 pounds at first while she was home, but gained that back plus 8 pounds. She was still underweight but she was gaining ground. If Mike didn't know any better, he would have thought that he was having a conversation with a normal fourteen year old, not one who had severe health issues, was scarred, had watched her mother and several other people be murdered, had been homeless for months, taking care of her nine year old sister, or had been pronounced dead, less than a month before. It was amazing.

They checked out the indoor gym and agreed they would wait until Mallory found a dad approved swimsuit. Mike had found out that it would be almost completely private from two to three everyday and they had an area that Emma could play in. Mike would prefer to find other accomodations for Emma, someone he knew and was comfortable with. Leaving either girl with a stranger bugged him. Mallory had told him that on days that she worked eight hour shifts, she normally woke up from about one thirty and stayed awake until four or five, and then would take a nap before work, she would be happy to stay with Emma. Her sleep schedule had changed since she had been living at Mike's because she felt safer.

They went home and rescued Kara from Emma, they had been working on math trying to get Emma caught up. Kara had told Mike that she was doing remarkably well with it. Both girls were very intelligent, and took after Christine in that respect. Lucas had struggled with what little bit of school he got to go to before he died, and was much more interested in dinosaurs and baseball. Every time Mike saw a graphic of a dinosaur, it hurt Mike's heart. He hoped some day that would get better.

When they finally got home, Mike quietly spoke to Mallory about the possibility of a skin graph, with him as the donor. She was familiar with Dr. Wilson because of her past as a domestic violence victim and told Mike that she was an amazing doctor and Hannah's scar would be almost completely gone. She also had warned him about the pain that he would be in but she knew Mike's mind was made up. He had already received a call from Dr. Wilson, she wanted to make sure Mike's blood work came back okay and they would proceed. His and Hannah's appointment was in two days and if all the blood work looked okay, than the surgery would be towards the beginning of December. Mallory told him to find out the date and she would take off work, she had plenty of vacation time built up, and he would need help. She also would find a dad approved swimsuit for Hannah, and laughed at Mike's specifications on it…no bikini, he wanted the back covered as much as possible, preferred one piece, etc.

Mike finally told Hannah that he was wanting to have the skin graph to cover her scar, and they would be going for an appointment with Dr. Wilson in two days. Dr. Wilson had mentioned using Emma's skin but Mike was adamant that Emma would not be going through that kind of pain. Mike had a high treshhold for pain and so he was sure he would be fine.

Mallory headed to work and Mike started supper. Hannah was a little worn out from her day out and was looking at swimsuits on Mike's ipad in the recliner. Emma was working on some math problems Kara had given her. He kept hearing, "Hey, daddy, look at this..." or "Daddy, can you help me with this?" Before the plague it would have driven him crazy, now it was refreshing.

Hannah found a swimsuit that Mike was semi okay with, and they decided to order a size larger than what she needed, until it fit better, Hannah agreed to wear one of Mike's shirts to the pool. He had not realized it but Emma didn't know how to swim, and so he promised her that when it got warmer out, he would teach her. He had been deployed quite a bit of the time when she was at the right age to teach and Mike refused for her not to know. He had taught Hannah and he would teach Emma, he just wished he had a chance to teach Lucas.

For some reason, Mike had been thinking about Lucas a lot that day and both girls had picked up on it. It was weird the things that reminded him of Lucas, the dinosaur graphics, teaching Emma how to swim, the fact that Lucas would have loved his chocolate pie at lunch. He had spoke with Russ and asked if it was normal. Russ' daughters had been dead for a couple years even before the Red Flu, and he was the only person that Mike felt comfortable asking. Garnett was still struggling with losing her daughter, and in a lot of ways was in worse shape than Mike. Russ let him know that it was completely normal and it would go on for the rest of his life, but told Mike that he was associating it with good memories so that was a good sign.

After supper both girls landed on the couch with him in the middle, they picked a movie, and ate popcorn. Lucas was still on his mind a lot, he would think that would Lucas would have liked the movie, would have wanted root beer, Mike would imagine him curled up with them. A couple different times he had teared up, and one time Hannah reached up and brushed a tear away. She didn't say a word, just seemed to understand. Both girls curled up that much closer to him and eventually went to sleep. He couldn't understand why this particular day was so hard. It wasn't Lucas' birthday, the anniversary of his death had passed, it was just a random day, Mike just choose to focus on his two girls, its what Lucas and Christine would have him do.


	37. Chapter 37

**I still don't know anything about skin grafts so I might be totally off base, but please review! I am going on vacation next week and so I am trying to finish this storyline before hand.**

 **Chapter 37**

The appointment with Dr. Wilson went as well as Mike expected it to go. His bloodwork came back clean; he was the picture of health. It bothered Mike that he was perfectly healthy, while his daughter was not. Dr. Wilson examined Hannah's scar and agreed that a skin graft was the best option. She assured Mike that Hannah's pain level would be minimal, if not at all. Mike had warned her not to let Hannah know about the significant amount of pain Mike would be in. If Hannah realized what his pain level would be like, she would never agree to the surgery. The nurse took Hannah back to the waiting room and agreed to sit with her so he could get the specifics on his part of the surgery and so Dr. Wilson could make sure the donor skin had no unusual marks or scars.

There were three possible areas that skin could be taken from, Mike's calf, hip or his own back. He had checked and the Navy would have no issues with him having a skin graft, it helped that things had been relaxed since the Red Flu. Dr. Wilson choose to take some skin from his left calf, and some from the middle of his back. He had been shot, stabbed, and burnt as a cop and as an officer in the Navy. She remarked about some of the scars and he just shrugged. The burns were from his rookie days when he was a cop, there was an apartment fire, and a baby was trapped, and Mike didn't wait on the fire department. He got burnt, but the baby lived. There was the scar from where that Immune had shot him and then dug into the wound, plus a few others. Mike never thought much of them, all he cared about was the large scar on his daughter's back.

She warned him of the pain that he would be in and explained the procedure to him. He reiterated that he didn't care about the pain that he would be in, just as long as Hannah would be okay. He made sure that the doctor was aware that Hannah's health was precarious and he wanted her life protected at all times and at any cost. She let him know that he would probably be essentially flat on his back for about a week and infection could be a concern. He didn't care about any of that. Dr. Wilson had seen various press conferences and knew Mike was a very to the point person, and she also knew that Hannah had to come out of the surgery perfectly healthy.

He collected Hannah and got headed home. The surgery was sit for a week from the coming Monday. It was now Friday. Hannah was pretty quiet and seemed to have something on her mind. Mike was determined to have the surgery. Hannah had read a brochure about skin grafts while she was waiting for her dad. She was well aware that he was going to be in a lot of pain but she also knew her dad's mind was made up.

"You know you don't have to do this, right Dad? I know you think you do, but you don't. I love you for wanting to do it, but it's not necessary. You're going to be in a lot of pain. I know you blame yourself for everything, but going through this pain, you don't have anything you need to be punished for."

Mike nodded at her and reached over and squeezed her hand. He wasn't completely sure why he was so adamant about the surgery but because of him being gone, Lucas and Christine were dead, and Hannah was horribly scarred and would have health issues for the rest of her life. If him enduring a little pain, lessened her's, well it was a tiny price for him to pay.

They had gotten Emma from Sasha and went home. Mallory had a second shift and so she was headed out the door as they headed in. She asked for the surgery date and told Mike she had already planned for and put in for vacation. He told her it wasn't necessary, that he would be fine, but he knew Hannah would need help with her dressing.

"Mike, you're going to need help too. I think you're minimizing the pain you'll be in, but it will be worse than anything you've been through. When you were trying to corral Frankie that day, I saw some of the scars on your chest and stomach and I am not asking what happened, but it will be worse than all that. I know there is not any talking you out of this and I understand your reasoning, but just be prepared. I will be here to help you and Hannah. "

Mike nodded at her and reminded her of her makeover the next day. He was actually looking forward to the end result. As much as he felt that he wasn't ready, and that he was still grieving for Christine, Mike had definitely noticed the pretty redhead. He kept telling himself that he owed Christine more time, that she was too young for him, that he wasn't ready, that she wasn't ready but there was something there. He just didn't know what it was. He had been with Christine for seventeen years, and had been married for sixteen. He loved her, had never even thought of another woman, and despite all their issues, would never think about cheating. It just wasn't him. Even when he couldn't find her, he never looked elsewhere. There had been opportunities, when they come home after defeating the Immunes, people were desperate and he and Tom both had women throw themselves at them. Obviously neither of them acted on it but the opportunity for a casual fling was there. He would just not lower himself.

He told Emma about his and Hannah's surgery, and that he would be laid up for a while, he expected her to be upset but instead told him that if he wasn't sleeping, she would keep him company and then asked why they weren't peeling her skin off to help Hannah. She had a weird way of interpreting things, and it was too difficult to explain the process to her, so instead he just told her that she was too small and the doctor thought it best to "peel" the skin off from an adult and Mike didn't want Hannah to have a stranger's skin on her. She accepted that at face value.

He had made an appointment with his lawyer and bank to set things up and get Tom's name on everything. Emma had heard a little of the conversation and knew he was talking with an attorney's office. After he hung up, he sit down with her and explained that he was simply getting some stuff set up and it was just for his upcoming surgery, that she was definitely still staying with him and not to worry. She just smiled and hugged him. She was not nervous about the appointment, and had asked for an "Emma Day" before his surgery. He agreed, Molly was due to be picked up Monday, Emma just didn't know it. Mallory was already planning on a "Hannah Day" for Monday so it would all work out.

After supper was eaten, the girls settled into a board game and he was cleaning the kitchen up, when Tom came in. He had texted him and told him of the surgery and the appointment with the lawyer to get Tom's name on everything. He wanted to make sure that Tom was still okay with everything and that Sasha agreed.

"Yea, she's good with everything. She understands the concern. I'll go with you to the attorney and to the bank so I can sign any paperwork needed. My concern is with the surgery. I have the same blood type as you, and so I would also have Hannah's blood type. If it would be better, I can have the skin graph. I know and understand why you want to do it, but I was the one that held you back from finding Christine and the girls, so it's my fault that she is scarred like that. Besides if the roles were reversed, you would do the same for Ashley or Sam."

Mike was completely shocked by Tom's offer, but he understood his reasoning, and was thankful for it. He would do the same for Tom's kids in a heartbeat.

"I truly, truly appreciate it Tom. I don't blame you for what happened. I can't ask you to go through that kind of pain, but yes, I would do the same for Sam and Ashley. When I seen the scar on her back, something in me just snapped. She is not going to like the pain level I'll be in but she would like you being in pain even less. I do appreciate everything that you guys are doing for me and the kids. And you know if you need some time with Sasha, I am still available to babysit Sam and Ashley?"

Not much else was said, Tom planned to take the day of the surgery off, because he would not only have to make Mike's medical decisions, but if anything arose with Hannah, and Mike was not able to make the decision, someone would need to. He made sure he was clear on what Mike wanted for the both of he and Hannah.

Tom left and the girls got ready for bed. He kind of missed Hannah's bandage changes because it meant that there was less time spent with her, but he also knew it was important for Hannah to regain some of her independence and for him to just be dad, and not have the process of bandage changes and turning the oxygen on. He still made sure the baby monitor on, and would remind Hannah not to shut it off. She had done that the second night she could go without oxygen and Mike had woke up about three am and realized he couldn't hear her breathing, ran into the door frame, stubbed his toe and tore the toe nail off. He ran into her room, and woke her up. She was fortunately breathing very well and didn't quite understand Mike's panic. Mike was furious, but choose not to address it until the morning. He had made it very clear to her, that turning the baby monitor was not an option. Fortunately, Mallory backed him and Hannah did listen to her. He felt like it had taken ten years off his life.

Hannah had started not liking to be tucked in, and that bothered him too, but he also knew it was the norm for fourteen year olds. She would still let him hug and kiss her goodnight. Emma was still all about getting tucked in, being read to, and cuddling. Rather he liked it or not, both girls were growing up and he had to just deal with it.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Mallory, Sasha and Kara were meeting at Mike's to go to one of the newly reopened malls. Alicia would be with them for part of the day. There was an appointment made for a haircut and color, manicures and pedicures and new make up for Mallory. Plus there were all kinds of stores to buy new clothes at.

Mallory had red, curly hair. She had been thinking about having it cut off for a while but her husband had demanded she keep her hair long, more because it gave him something to grab her by. She told Sasha that, and they picked out a bob that would look adorable with the curls. The hair stylist loved her hair color and decided to just put some highlights and lowlights in it. She didn't see a reason to change such a beautiful color completely. It turned out beautifully and made Mallory look even more incredible.

Mallory opted to not have a manicure because of her nursing, but did agree to the pedicure. That didn't really bother Sasha, Kara or Alicia because it was something they couldn't really have. They all had lunch at a sushi place inside the mall, and it gave them a chance to just visit. The three women were intrigued with Mallory and saddened with what little bit of her story that she would tell. They were confident and secure, and Mallory was not. She admitted that she was concerned that Mike would get tired of helping her and she would end up back on the street, or worse yet, was expecting something that she felt he wasn't ready for. It made them realize that Mallory might be a little more ready for it then she realized but she didn't feel that Mike could have those feelings for her, and used the excuse that he was not ready. All three women knew Mike had feelings but in part, didn't feel he was ready, and also felt guilty for feeling them. They choose to go on about their day, and let nature take its course. They knew Emma and Tom were playing matchmaker, and so they decided their part in it was to just give Mallory the confidence.

Mallory had an amazing figure, she was fairly short, but had curves that made all three of them a little jealous. She saw it as fat, but she was actually very solid. They picked out skinny jeans that accented Mallory's butt and her muscular legs, and found a couple tight shirts similar to the ones that Sasha frequently wore. They also found some sweaters and leggings. She found a pair of boots that would work with the jeans and leggings. When she would comment that she liked something, Sasha and Kara would find the same style and toss them in the cart in varying colors. Mallory told them it was too much money to spend, and they just told her Mike had made them promise that Mallory would have everything that she wanted, and they didn't want to disappoint him.

All joking aside, they also decided to go to a lingerie shop, not necessarily to get Mallory the sexy lingerie that had been discussed and joked about, but to get her the panties and bras she needed. They also got her some pajamas that were tasteful. Mallory was very modest. . Alicia had to leave but had given Mallory a big hug and let her know how much she had enjoyed the day.

They went to a makeup store and honestly had a blast experimenting. They knew that Mallory would rarely wear the makeup but it was still fun. She had a beautiful complexion. What surprised Kara and Sasha was Mallory's eye color. It was an almost icy blue-green.

While she had been trying clothes on, they had noticed the scar on her stomach but neither of them had the courage to ask what had happened. Tom had found out from Mike about her husband and so both women let it go. They had found her some workout clothes and headed to the base gym. Mike could easily teach her the self-defense moves that they would be teaching her, and eventually it would be better for a man to help her, because she could figure out how to use his superior strength against him, but for the time being, she was still a little scared of men.

Thankfully the gym was empty and so they went to work. They had agreed that they were going to start her with the basics and when the time come Mike or even Tom could take over. Wolf had given them some pointers and essentially told them to get Mallory mad, make her imagine whoever had hurt her and let her go. That was the tactic they used, and by the time they were done, Sasha and Kara's arms were aching. Mallory had a lot of aggression where her husband was concerned. He had done a lot more damage to her than anyone realized but she was starting to open up about it. She had told both women about how he would leave for months at a time, come home drunk and beat her, and would take things to places that Mallory was not comfortable with in bed. Kara finally asked her if he had ever raped her. It broke both their hearts when Mallory looked at them confused, and essentially told them since they were married it wasn't considered rape no matter how much she didn't want it.

They would warn Tom to be careful with his matchmaking and would hope that Emma would take her time too. Hannah was okay with her dad and Mallory being together but was not playing matchmaker, more because she knew that Mike needed to take some time.

They finally headed home but agreed to another girl's day. They had all had a lot of fun regardless of the weighty issues that Mallory had. The back of Sasha's SUV was packed with shopping bags and Mike would have his hands full carrying everything in. Mallory had bought some of the stuff herself, not feeling right about Mike buying her bras and panties or make up. Mike was saving her a lot of money that she didn't have before. But she was also hanging onto some money because she suspected her car's transmission was going out.

When they got home, Mike and Emma helped them carry bags in, and set them in the laundry room. Mallory mentioned that she thought maybe she had gotten too much, and that she had bought a little of it herself, she also told Mike she thought the transmission was going out in her car, and was trying to hold onto money to purchase a new car. Mike let her know that they would go and look for a new car for her before his surgery because he didn't want her caught without a car. He would just simply make sure she got a good price on it. As far as the clothes were concerned, she had gotten far less than he had planned on and had not intended on her paying for any of it herself. He had gone out to figure out what was going on with the car, and she showed the girls some of the purchases. They were just as excited and Hannah had come up with all kinds of outfit ideas. She was getting a little tired of wearing comfy clothes all the time, and decided she could live vicariously through Mallory. They also played with the makeup and discussed getting their own pedicures. Now that Hannah's feet were almost healed, a pedicure might actually do her some good, and that was not something she wanted to go to Mike with. Emma just thought it sounded like fun, but it did bring something to her attention that would also hurt Mike. She had asked the girls if Christine had ever taken them for pedicures, and Hannah had said she had but Emma teared up.

"I don't remember if she had or not…I kind of remember her but it's like the memories are getting dimmer. And I can't remember Lucas at all. I just don't want to tell Daddy because it will make him sad and maybe a little mad that I can't remember them well. It does help to have all these pictures around though."

Both Mallory and Hannah hugged Emma, and Hannah told her that Christine had taken them both when Emma was about five for Hannah's birthday. Emma had insisted on getting her nails painted electric purple and Hannah had gotten hers painted pink, and Christine had gone with a red. By the time she was done, Mallory could tell Emma was starting to remember it and had brightened up.

Mike came in and confirmed that he and Tom had looked at the car and the transmission was going out, and he suspected the radiator was on its way out. He had an appointment with his attorney on Monday to get Tom's name on some stuff and after they got done, Tom had said he and Sasha would watch the girls while Mike and Mallory went car shopping and for her to figure out what she wanted.

They ended up ordering pizza and playing board games that night. Mallory loved how Mike and his girls included her in their family time. The girls loved her new hair style and color and Mike complimented her on it. Hannah was still arguing with Mike about the baby monitor issue and Mallory refused to be put in the middle of it. She understood Hannah's viewpoint but she also knew Mike had a huge fear of something happening to either daughter. She told Mike privately that she agreed with the baby monitor staying on for a while longer but also reminded him that in a week, it was him that would need to be monitored. He asked her if she thought it was safe for Hannah to go under the knife. She was shocked that he had never bothered to ask about himself, just Hannah. She had warned him of the complications that he could face and that Hannah would be up and moving really quickly.

He put Emma to bed, and had given Hannah a kiss goodnight. Mallory could tell that even bothered the girl, but Hannah adored her father and would not tell him no. She knew Mike was smothering the girls just a bit, but in his shoes, she would be too. Plus, the next week it would be the girls doing the smothering and Mallory figured Mike would be getting a taste of his own medicine. She also knew it would all be done in love.

The girls had gone to bed and Mike was sitting on the couch reading some of the pamphlets on what would happen to the recipient of the skin graph. He was neglecting the ones about being a donor. Mallory sit down on the opposite end of the couch and handed him one of them and he just laughed at her. He drank a beer and she had a glass of wine and they discussed what type of car she would be getting, Hannah's swimming sessions, and Emma getting Molly. She told him of the conversation about Christine that she and the girls had earlier and told that honestly the best thing to do was let Hannah help. She knew it bothered him but he had admitted he had expected it.

Sasha had told him quietly what Mallory had told her and Kara at the gym. He was absolutely disgusted, not at Mallory but in general. He was glad Bradly was dead, because if he wasn't… Despite the problems he and Christine had, he never laid an abusive hand on her, had never done anything that she wasn't completely okay with. They actually had a very loving, passionate marriage and their sex life was great. The problems they had were due to lack of communication, and him taking so much time away from the family. Mike hated that his relationship with Christine had been strained at the time of her death, but he knew that Christine knew that he loved and adored her.

Part of the reason Mike was doing everything he was doing for Mallory was because he wanted his girls to see that they deserved to be treated well, and in his own small way, it was the way he could set an example of how they should be treated in the future. No father wanted his daughter to be treated like Mallory had been and if something even close to like that happened to either of his girls and he was alive to see it, the man would wish he had never met Mike's daughter. Mike fumbled up a lot where his girls were concerned, telling Emma that he had considered giving her up, arguing with Hannah about the baby monitor, but he loved and adored them and would come completely unhinged if anyone hurt them like Mallory had been hurt.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Sunday went by quickly, Hannah was not feeling real well and Emma was a bit emotional and ended up just cuddling up with Mike. It was the only thing that Emma seemed to want. Mike knew she was missing her mom and brother and was tempted to tell her about Molly to brighten up her mood. At one point she told him she was forgetting Christine's voice. Mike knew that the video from Tom was still in his desk drawer and although it would be painful for him, decided Emma needed it. He explained to Mallory what he was going to do and that he was going to take Emma upstairs to his room and put it in. She would keep Hannah occupied if she woke up before they came back downstairs.

He grabbed the dvd, took it upstairs and got it ready to play in his dvd player in his bedroom, then went downstairs and picked Emma up off the couch. When he got her upstairs she sat down on his bed. She thought he was mad because of her missing her mom and she was in trouble.

"Emma, I know you're sad, and I'm sad about that. Uncle Tom made me this video because he heard me tell someone that I was forgetting what your brother's voice was like. I miss your mom's voice too. I haven't watched it yet, because I knew I would probably cry, and I didn't want you girls to see that again. So we are going to sat down and watch this video, and cry together if we need to. It's a happy video and you'll see and hear and Aunt Darian too. "

Mike laid down on the bed next to her, and both of them laid on their stomachs and Mike clicked the play button. The next forty five minutes they watched the video and cried. But they also laughed too. And talked about that day at the beach and how Lucas had buried Mike and Tom in the sand, that led to several other happy memories. Mike had thought watching the video would be hellish for him, and while it was hard to see Lucas and Christine happy and laughing, it helped watching it with Emma. Her mood improved greatly and she hugged him. He decided to go through Christine's box with Emma. He wasn't quite ready for Lucas' but it was time to go through Christine's. She asked about getting Hannah but Mike decided that while they would hold some of the stuff out for Hannah, he needed Emma's help.

They sat on the bedroom floor and slowly went through the box. Christine had, had a habit of keeping what she felt were keepsakes. There were concert stubs from the first concert they went to together, a dried flower from the dozen roses from their first Valentine's Day, random pictures, and a pair of earrings that Emma wanted Hannah to have, he had given them to Christine their first Christmas together. Emma wanted his cuff links from his tux from their wedding day, but Mike told her he would keep them safe for a couple more years. Christine had a collection of snow globes and there was one from New Zealand that Mike had gotten her when he was deployed there, he wanted to keep it for some reason. Emma had a few random things she decided to keep including a notebook that Christine wrote her favorite verses, poems and songs in. She had gone back to her bedroom, after giving Mike a hug and kiss.

Mike had found a letter in the box that he didn't remember seeing when he packed things up back in Norfolk. It had been in her jewelry box. He had been pretty emotional that day and he could have missed it. His name was on the outside of the note in Christine's familiar writing. He knew it would be hard but he had to read it.

" _Mike,_

 _If you're reading this, than you're probably alone. I hope that you've somehow found the girls though and you're keeping them going. I am sorry about how I told you about Lucas, you deserved to know more. I should have been more gentle. I was angry but he was also your son. He was not in any pain, he was pretty much delirious towards the end and kept imagining that you were there with him. I couldn't be, but it comforts me that he thought of you. He knew I was close by and he was dreaming of you. Nothing more can comfort me more than that._

 _I know you and I had our issues and I probably contributed to the problem. I had agreed to you joining the Navy and knew what I was getting myself into. I was always so proud of you, when I saw you in your uniform, I knew that you were fighting to make this world a safer, better place for our kids and grandkids._

 _Mike, I love you and you gave me some of the most beautiful years of my life, but I'm gone now, and you need to move on. If you find the girls, they are still young and they need a mother figure in their life and you need someone too. You need someone who can make you smile again, someone who will support you, maybe better than what I ever did. Don't stress if its too soon, I don't want you moping around waiting for some weird time frame to pass before you go out. Your mom always said God had a plan, and if that's the case, than I would hope that by the time you're reading this, there will be someone already there for you. It sounds strange but I dream of you with a beautiful redhead…strange right?_

 _You don't need my permission but I also know you think you need my blessing, and you have it. If she is who I dream of, than she will be amazing for you and our girls, and who knows maybe you'll have another little one…I also picture a baby boy you name after Tom in a light green nursery? I know, strange right?_

 _Seriously, Mike, go out and don't mope around because of me and Lucas. Neither of us would want to see you do that, the girls will be looking at you as an example and they need to see you moving forward._

 _What we had was beautiful and I will always loved you. I know that you are probably beating yourself up because we had hit kind of a sour note but it was not your fault. Not really mine either. Just happened. You were an amazing, loving husband and father and I know our girls will love you dearly, and I also know your redhead will need an amazing, loving husband like I know you are. Something tells me her past has not been a good one. She will have an amazing life with you and our girls, and baby Tommy._

 _Lucas and I will be waiting on you, but I don't want to see you for another fifty or so years!_

 _I love you,_

 _Christine"_

Mike was completely shocked and blown away by Christine's letter. He had no idea when she wrote it, or how he felt. He could hear Mallory downstairs talking to the girls and he was looking at his and Christine's wedding picture. It had been a small wedding attended by his and her parents, her younger sister, Tom and Darian. Tom served as best man and Darian was maid of honor. They were also engaged and within a month, the roles were reversed. Mike was best man and Christine was matron of honor for them.

He put the letter in his dresser drawer, and walked downstairs. Hannah was sitting up and some of her color had returned and Emma was helping her set up a board game. He kissed both of them on the top of the head and told Hannah he had a some of her mom's stuff for her in his room when she was ready for them. She nodded at him, and than asked him if he had finally found her mom's letter.

"You knew about it, why didn't you say anything? "

"Because Mom said to let you find it, you would look through her jewelry box at some point and it would be when you were ready."

Hannah had his personality, but sometimes glimpses of Christine showed through. He kissed her forehead and she told him Mallory was looking at cars on the computer in his office and she and Emma would be fine. Emma had scrunched her nose up at him and mumbled something about a baby brother. He just shook his head at the two of them and walked into his office.

"I hope you don't mind me using your computer. I think I've settled on this jeep, what do you think? Good in the winter, plenty of room for the girls. Price seems good, but I don't know about those things, does fit into my budget."

Despite what Christine's letter said, he wasn't ready. It was nice to know that he had her blessing when the time come. Mallory had kind of drawn back when he walked into the room, she had expected him to hit her. He knew she was going to have to get past and threw a lot before he could ever think about having a relationship with her.

He leaned down next to her and looked at the ad, the price would definitely be coming down some when he spoke with the dealer. He appreciated the fact that she was considering his girls in the purchase of a new vehicle.

"Not some sports car, I can see you in a convertible?"

"Nah…not my thing. I want something more practical and I've always preferred SUV's. The winters around here can be nasty and a jeep seems right, don't you think?"

By that point she had wrote down the dealer's information and shut the computer off. As they walked out of the office, Hannah looked at him expectedly, he just shook his head at her. She understood it a little better than Emma. They ended up putting a movie in that they all agreed on, and lounged on the couch. It was a happy evening. Emma was in a lot better mood and had curled up under his arm.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Monday was just crazy. . Emma did seem a little nervous about Mike seeing an attorney and he reminded her that it was just so that Tom could help make some decisions during the surgery the next week, and that her place in his home and his heart was secure. Emma just smiled and hugged him. But her eyes were smiling.

The meeting with the attorney went well, Mike had Tom's name put on his house, his living will and power of attorney's for himself and both girls. If something happened to Mike, Tom would take over the girls care and would raise them until Emma reached age eighteen. Once Hannah become an adult, she would be able to make her medical and legal decisions, but if she become incapicipated, then Tom would again take over and make whatever decisions for her, unless Emma had reached the age twenty one, and at that point, she could make them, but with Tom's help. Mike had money set aside for the girls' education and Hannah's medical care, that his military benefits might not cover. Mike was by no means wealthy, but he was comfortable. Mike did tell Tom that he was also to make sure Mallory had a home and whatever she needed, nothing was happening at that point because neither of them were ready for it, but he still wanted her cared for. Tom had a huge grin on his face when Mike told him.

After they got done at the attorney's office, the bank was next. When Mike explained to the weasely banker what he wanted, the idiot man told him that it was foolish to put someone who was a friend on all the accounts and trust him with kind of money, the bank could help him come up with other alternatives.

"Don't think you understand, Tom is my brother, I trust him with my life and have numerous different times. He has saved my life and my daughters' lives, if I cant trust him with my money, I don't think I would be able to trust him with our lives, clear? Unless you've served in the military or possibly as a police officer, you won't understand the bond. If roles were reversed, Tom would be putting me on his accounts and I would be willing to take over his children's care. Now I suggest you shut up, do what I told you, or I will pull all the money out and go to a bank that will agree with me."

The bank manager heard the conversation, and took over the transaction. He had been a Marine and understood both Mike and Tom's viewpoints. Tom was ready to bust up from how scared the original banker was, but was also touched at Mike's sentiment. It was very true, Mike would be doing the same for him if need be. If something happened, Mike would have a say in Sam and Ashley's care, and would help Sasha or even completely take over their care if necessary.

Mike had decided to take Tom home, and pick Mallory up so they could go car shopping. Tom and Sasha were taking all four kids to a movie that afternoon and when Emma got home, she would have Molly. Mike was beyond thrilled to see her face when she seen Molly. He hoped it might repair some of the issues between them, because despite all that Emma said, him asking her if she thought living elsewhere would be better, was still on her mind. She asked him suspiciously about the attorney's visit, but thankfully Mike had thought ahead and had gotten a handwritten note from the lawyer assuring Emma that striping Mike's parental rights and adoption were absolutely not discussed. The lawyer thought it was a strange note to write but agreed to it. Tom confirmed it to Emma and so she was happy and smiling again.

Mallory and Mike did grab lunch before going to the car lot. Mallory was not use to someone spending so much time and money on her, and when she tried to pay for her own lunch, Mike gently told her no.

The car lot was interesting, She knew she wanted a black jeep Cherokee, but beyond that was not particular. However Mike was very particular and was not subtle in letting the salesman know that he expected a certain price. Mike was a familiar face and was well respected, so it took no time at all for the jeep that Mallory wanted to show up. Ordinarily he would let Mallory test drive it but she handed him the key and jumped in the passenger seat. The jeep was practically new, so it was low miles, and had no mechanical issues. It had good tires, four wheel drive and was plenty roomy. Mike was satisfied with how it drove. When they got back to the car lot Mike and the salesman argued back and forth about the monthly payment and interest rates. When it was all said and down, Mallory just signed the paperwork where she needed to. The salesman made a remark that it was odd that a husband and wife not co-sign on the loan paperwork, but he wasn't surprised that Mallory's last name was different. They were both wearing wedding bands, and both just choose not to argue it.

Mallory was getting into the new jeep and Mike was standing at the door, ready to close it as he always did. He had asked her to text when she got home so he knew the jeep was dependable and that he was headed to get Molly.

Mike headed to the base next, and was greeted by Danny. Wolf was also there, it was one of Hannah's violin lessons but they had decided to wait until the evening. Wolf had had something come up and it worked better.

Danny had been working with Molly and had her already potty trained. She would always have a slight limp but since her purpose was simply to be a pet for a child, it wouldn't be made worse. They put her in a carrier, and she came with a leash, a bag of kebble and a dog bed. Danny warned Mike that the puppy loved to cuddle. All he could do was laugh, because Emma loved to cuddle too. It was a match made in heaven, as long as Molly didn't get all of Emma's cuddling!

The drive home was amusing at best, because Mike couldn't wait for Emma's reaction. Mallory had texted him that she was home and the girls were also there, and Emma was completely unsuspecting. Hannah was also excited for Emma's reaction. Emma had asked for so little and for her to have something completely her own? Mike was thrilled.

Mallory had told him that Emma was in her room drawing when he walked in with the puppy. Molly was too busy chewing on his hand to bark so Mike just walked up the stairs to Emma's room. She was sitting on the floor drawing something and so she didn't see or hear him until Molly let out a bark.

"Daddy, that's Molly! Why is she here? Can she stay? Are we just taking care of her until someone takes her so Danny doesn't kill her?"

Molly had ran to Emma when Mike sat her down and was jumping around and barking wildly and Emma was laughing and kissing her. Mike sat down next to her and tried to calm the excited puppy and little girl.

"Emma, she's yours! As soon as you told me about her, after the zoo, I had already decided that she was would be yours. Everyone just went along with it."

Emma turned to him and threw her arms around him and gave him a big kiss. She was almost shaking with excitement and he could tell she was so happy. It brought tears to his eyes and when he looked up Hannah and Mallory were standing in the doorway with tears in their eyes. They both came in and sat down and played with the puppy while Mike went to get her gear out of the truck.

The rest of the evening was spent playing with the puppy. Fortunately she was a good dog and learned quickly how to get their attention so someone would take her outside. Mallory had to work that night and decided to lay down for awhile before work.

Emma decided that Molly would sleep in her room. Mike would have preferred she stay in the garage but he wasn't going to argue with the very excited and happy little girl, and compromised that the puppy would be staying in her dog bed. She hugged and kissed him good night when he tucked her in. She thanked him several times for the puppy and Mike was beyond thrilled that she was so excited. He suspected the puppy would end up in Emma's bed with her but he had decided to overlook it.

Hannah had just finished her violin lesson with Wolf and he had left. She was a little worn down and was going to head to bed and promised she would turn the monitor on.

"So, sis, you've been a little quiet about Mallory living here. You okay with it? If you're not, its okay. I know you love Mallory but it changes things having her here. I love you and your opinion on it does matter to me."

Hannah sat down next to him and seemed to be weighing her words before she spit them out. " I am actually beyond okay with it. I am glad she is here, I know you and Emma are going through some stuff and it gives you more time with her, plus you aren't worrying about me as much, I just want my dad, not for you to be worried about me all the time. I am worried about something else though."

"Okay what then?"

"I read some brochures on your part of the surgery. Dad, I know why you want to do this and I appreciate it, but I hate the idea of you being in pain. It's a scar, its not like I need bone marrow or a kidney or something and you have to give me that. I know you would, but it is just a scar, and its a scar I don't ever see. If you are adamant that you want to go through with it, than I am good with it, but if you aren't sure I don't want you to feel obligated. I know you think its your fault, and Uncle Tom thinks it his fault, and I think its my fault for wanting the cinnamon, but its no one's fault. I love you and you wanting to do this is so special but I am okay with you not doing it. I'm not worried about my part of the surgery but I am very worried about you."

Mike had pulled her close and Hannah had her head on his chest. "I want the surgery, and am okay with the pain. I know it will be bad, but my only concern is you. You say that its just a scar now, but in the future when people ask you about it, you will not want to relive how it happened constantly. You wont be able to wear anything showing that part of your back because of people asking, and as your dad, I am completely okay with you not revealing that much skin but I also know you wont want to tell everyone about it. To me its more than a scar, its your past, and while I am not even going to try and erase your past, I can make it to where its only obvious to the people that need to know, not some stranger at the pool or when you're at prom and your dress shows that part of your back. In about twenty or thirty years when you find some guy that your old dad will not approve of, then you can tell him about it, but for now, not everyone needs to know. Only the people you are okay with knowing. I have more than a few scars of my own, and believe me, I don't want everyone knowing about how they happened. Its to protect you from that. As far as it being your fault? Not a chance and I think your mom would agree. It's a pain that I am happy to bear so you don't have to relive it constantly. You do a good job dealing with what you saw, and I don't want you to have to talk about it to people that don't care about you."

Hannah got up and headed to bed. For some reason his mind was on Lucas and his box upstairs. Maybe it was time to go through it? Mallory came through on her way to work and noticed Mike just sitting on the couch staring into space. She could tell he was lightyears away emotionally and choose not to break his concentration. She locked the door on her way out and prayed that he would be able to get through what he needed to.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Mike didn't sleep well that night. He had several dreams about Lucas, and while they were not nightmares, they also disturbed him. He finally just got up about five am, and checked on both girls. Hannah was sound asleep and breathing normally. As he had suspected, Molly was in bed with Emma. The little dog was already fiercely protective of the little girl and snarled a little when Mike walked in but settled down when she realized it was him. He tucked the blanket around the both of them and kissed Emma.

He made coffee, but decided to go back upstairs. He had made a point to freeze some of the banana bread Sasha had made and Mallory had gotten some of it out the day before, so he cut a slice of that and grabbed his coffee. His plan was to just watch the news until the girls got up, but found himself taking Lucas' box out of the closet, and sitting it on the bed. He owed it to Lucas to not necessarily get over his loss, not let go, but to move away from it.

The first thing he pulled out of the box was Lucas' ball glove. It still smelled fairly new. Lucas had been so excited about getting to have Mike coach his team, for at least part of the season before Mike deployed. Next came some fossils, that were more like rocks, but Lucas had been convinced that they were some prehistoric creature.

There were pictures and momentos from a too short life. Lucas was only five, almost six when he died. Mike knew there would be no letter from Lucas because while Lucas could write, sitting him down long enough to do one would be questionable. There was a drawing that was obviously for Mike with a caption, "I love you, Daddy!" on it. There were a few things he would give the girls, but the vast majority, he selfishly wanted for himself. Mike had expected that he would be full of tears and emotion going through the box, but he wasn't, he laughed at a few of the things that were in the box, and might have shed more than one tear, but for the most part he was at peace. He got up and grabbed the two letters that were in his dresser drawer and Hannah's letter telling him about Lucas' last hours and put them in the box. He decided he needed to write Lucas another letter, he doubted it would be the last one he wrote him, but it was an important one.

" _Lucas,_

 _I know it might seem like I am trying to forget you, but I am not, I cannot. You will stay in my heart forever, and in the girls' hearts. I am not letting you go, but I am moving away from your loss. It is still always going to be there, and I will spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if?'_

 _You were an amazing little boy and I was blessed to have you for the short amount of time that I did have you. Nothing made me more proud than being your dad. You were exactly the son that I wanted and needed._

 _I love you and always will,_

 _Daddy"_

He put the letter in the box with the others. He just wasn't sure what to with Lucas' things. It didn't feel right to put it in the garage, but could he look at the box every day?

Both girls and the dog start rousing around. He took Molly outside and then went back in and started breakfast. Hannah was now showering herself but the concession was that she waited until Mallory got home and was close by, and that she allowed Mike or Mallory to look at her feet daily to make sure none of the blisters opened up. Hannah grumbled a bit about it, but she also seemed to be relieved, the steam from the shower sometimes made her lightheaded and she would have some difficulty breathing, she also conceded to use Mike's shower as it had a bench that she could sit down on if need be.

They would be going swimming later that day and Hannah was excited to get to do something fun with Mike. Swimming wasn't generally her favorite thing to do, but at the moment it was all that she could do, Mike was not any good with the violin, basketball was probably off the table completely, and horseback riding was out until at least spring. Mallory had located a swimsuit that Mike approved of. Hannah had understood what Mike had told her about explaining the scars and was not looking forward to people asking, but seemed to take comfort that Mike would be there to help her counter the questions.

Emma was occupied trying to train Molly and had given Mike numerous hugs for letting her have the puppy. Even though she rarely mentioned Mike asking about her living elsewhere, it had stayed on her mind. But Mike giving her Molly seemed to have cemented in that Mike wanted her with him, and that this was her home. It helped Mike to see her happier.

Mallory came in and ate breakfast with the family. She told Mike she would set her alarm so that she was awake with Emma. Both of them were looking forward the Hannah's swimming session and Mallory and she went upstairs for the shower. He had started cleaning up breakfast dishes when he heard a bit of a commotion. Mallory hollered for him to come upstairs immediately.

The panic in Mallory's voice threw him and he took the steps two at a time, Hannah had been doing so well, he prayed nothing was wrong. Hannah was laying on his bed with a small laceration on her forehead that was bleeding pretty heavily. She was having trouble controlling her breathing and was wrapped in his robe. Mallory told him to grab her oxygen tank and mask. He wasn't sure what had happened but Hannah seemed really upset. In record time the oxygen was hooked up and she was breathing at a normal rate. Mallory was cleaning the laceration on Hannah's forehead. It wasn't too deep and wouldn't require stitches.

When Mallory was satisfied that Hannah was calming down, she gestured for Mike to follow her out in the hallway. He didn't particularly want to leave her but needed to know what had happened.

"The steam must have made her dizzier than normal and she was lightheaded, before I realized what was going on, she was already passing out, I'm not even sure how she got that cut…Mike, I am so sorry…I should have been watching her closer. Please don't be mad at me."

Mike pulled her close and hugged her, she was rattled and scared but seemed to be accepting of the hug, "It's not your fault, not at all. She'll be fine. She's tough. She had been wanting to do this on her own and you were close enough to help, that is what counts. Don't blame yourself. She won't blame you and I definitely don't. I am not mad at you!"

They stood like that for a minute, Mike could tell Mallory was hurting and he didn't want to let her go. She finally pulled away and said something about getting Hannah pajamas and checking on Emma.

"I guess swimming is off for today?" I was really wanting to do something fun with you, and I'm sorry. I know you were looking forward to it." Hannah had tears rolling as he walked in the room, she was pale, and had pulled her oxygen mask off, there was a bruise appearing next to the laceration. She looked miserable. Mike sat down next to her and pulled her close.

"Yea, no swimming today, can't chance you getting lightheaded there. We'll figure something out, and yea, I wanted to go too, but you feeling okay is much more important to me. I know you're getting frustrated and I'm sorry. I love you, baby girl."

She had been crying in his arms, and when Mallory walked back in with the pajamas, he gestured for her to sit down next to them. She quietly told him that she had checked on Emma and put a movie in for her, Emma and the puppy were okay. He could tell that Mallory was still beating herself up and Hannah felt bad because she thought he was mad about missing their swimming session. He didn't have adequate words for either of them and he could tell Mallory was getting sleepy. He didn't care about either of them sleeping in his room and it wasn't too long before they both had nodded off. Hannah had her oxygen back on with the nasal cannula, and so just covered them with the blanket.

He checked on Hannah several times throughout the day. What surprised him was that, Mallory had pulled her into her arms and Hannah was laying with her head on Mallory's chest and both had their arms wrapped around the other. It was a beautiful scene despite the reason why it had happened.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Hannah recovered quickly from her mishap. It had worried Mike, she had been doing so well, and to have her take such a massive step back, was frustrating, exhausting and made him mad. He had called Dr. Wilson's office and they were going to go ahead with the surgery. They would monitor her breathing closely, and Rios had told Mike that he would be assisting with the surgery, and so Mike asked him to stay with Hannah. Rios had a vested interest and would fight for Hannah.

She did have to have oxygen the first day after her fall, and it frustrated her. She was upset and still worried about Mike's part of the surgery. He considered postponing the surgery but Dr. Wilson would not have any openings until February and he didn't want to put it off that long, and since Hannah was medically cleared, she insisted.

Emma had stayed close all afternoon and evening, and helped where she could. She "loaned" Molly to Hannah and Molly had curled up on Hannah's lap and fell asleep. She was still definitely Emma's dog, but seemed to have a sense of when Hannah needed to be comforted. Hannah did seem really happy to have the dog close, and started asking Mike about getting a kitten. She had one in Norfolk. Mike was concerned that the pet hair might bother her lungs and mentioned it to Mallory when she got up. Mallory told him that with the wood flooring it wouldn't be as much of a big deal and a kitten might help Hannah feel better. Give her something to take care of.

Mallory was still really upset about Hannah's fall and apologized profusely. Mike could tell she was waiting for some sort of punishment from Mike, and seemed shocked when there was enough dinner for her. It made him wonder if he husband had withheld food from her for a perceived wrong. He didn't have the heart to ask.

She headed to work and Mike decided both girls needed an early night. Hannah was kind of moody, which was understandable and Emma was just trying to help, but Hannah had lashed out at her. He locked up and they were all in bed by nine. He ended up putting Hannah back in his bed, and Emma ended up in there just simply because he didn't want her to feel left out and of course Molly ended up with them. She wouldn't go too far from either Emma or Hannah, and when Hannah started wheezing a bit, Molly got quite upset, barking at Mike to do something about it. He ended up putting the mask on Hannah and sitting the dog on her lap. Once they got laid down and comfortable, Molly wiggled in between the two girls and Mike ended up on Emma's other side. Pre plague he would have never had both girls in his bed, let alone with a dog, but he needed to be able to monitor Hannah, and Emma and the dog were a package deal.

Thankfully the girls slept soundly and Mike actually slept, despite his concern over Hannah. They were still sleeping when Mallory got home and when she looked into Mike's room, she saw all of them basically curled up around each other. Hannah was breathing normally, and the bruise and laceration on her forehead had already started disappearing.

Mallory decided to cook breakfast and let the four of them sleep. Mike smelled the coffee and the French toast cooking and come downstairs with Molly and the baby monitor. Both girls were still sleeping, and so he took Molly out to do her business and came back inside and started fixing himself a cup of coffee.

"I am so, so, sorry about what happened yesterday, Mike. I will understand it if you want me to move out. I was in the bedroom and if I had got there sooner… if I had been closer, she may not have fallen. She could have been seriously injured…"

Mike came around the corner of the kitchen island and grabbed her by the shoulders but when she flinched away from him, he dropped his hands. "It's not your fault. We were all expecting a set back and I am just thankful it happened this week and not next, after the surgery, when I wouldn't be able to help. You were as close as she would allow you to be. As far as you moving out, the girls and I all want you to stay. I know this may seem hard to understand, but you are loved here. You have become part of my family. The girls look up to you and I depend on you. The least I could do was put a roof over your head and food in your stomach. End of discussion."

Mallory nodded at him and stepped away from him. He could tell she was not convinced but at least she wasn't crying. He hated that he had scared her initially but he had to get her attention. It did show him exactly how bad the abuse had been. He had some sparring equipment in the garage. Sasha had remarked that it might actually be better if Mallory had a male teacher for the self defense moves he wanted her to be taught. It would teach her how to use her strength against someone who had superior strength. Sasha felt that while the workout was rigorous for her and Kara, Mallory might have been holding back some. He decided he was going to take over some of the lessons.

The girls came down for breakfast and Hannah was doing much better. She was still weak but at least she was able to feed herself. She was still a bit upset over missing her swimming session with Mike but he didn't want to chance it. As worried as she was about Mike's part of the surgery, she was adamant that it go on.

After Hannah's shower, Mallory went on to bed and it was too chilly to take the girls out, so they all just hung around the house watching movies and playing games. Mike had some at home work that needed to be done before his surgery, which meant spending most of the morning on the phone in the office.

Mallory had to work that night and then she was off for a night. She had already told Mike she would stay with Hannah and for him to take some time out with Emma and the dog. He didn't feel he needed time with Molly but Emma and her were constant companions so, Molly would be going with. Hannah had asked that the next day she and Mike go and do something fun. She understood that swimming was probably not going to happen but she wanted some time out with him too before their surgeries. Mike couldn't tell either girl no. Mike was slightly concerned he might be spoiling the two of them but he honestly didn't care.

Emma had all kinds of plans the next day for her outing with Mike. She did opt to leave the puppy at home, more because she thought Hannah needed her. One of the things that she asked Mike to do, was to find a kitten for Hannah and Mike be the one to surprise her with it. So they went to the park, ate lunch, went to the store for items for a kitten and finally found some kittens that were being given away. She picked out a yellow tabby for Hannah that also seemed to be a bit of a cuddler. She was insistent that Mike be the one to give it to Hannah. Mike wasn't quite sure why but decided to just go along with it. Mallory had texted that Hannah seemed a little depressed, physically she was okay, but she wasn't herself. Hopefully the kitten would help with that. He had warned Mallory that he was bringing another pet home, and he was stopping at a kitten and a puppy. He just hoped the two got along.

Emma held the kitten in the backseat with her, and he could hear her telling the kitten all about her new house, Hannah, Mallory, and Molly. The kitten had fallen asleep in Emma's lap and had the loudest purr that Mike had ever heard. Mallory met them at the truck and told him that Hannah was in the recliner, she wasn't sleeping but she wasn't really watching television. Mike took the kitten and Mallory helped Emma out of the truck and got the kitten supplies. He had tucked the kitty into his coat pocket, which was okay other than the claws sinking into his chest.

Mike walked into the living room and sit down on the coffee table, and pulled the kitten out of his pocket, and put it in Hannah's lap. She finally looked down and a huge smile broke.

"You got me a kitten? It's mine? " Hannah was crying but she had a smile on her face. He nodded at her and leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She had the kitten up against her chest.

"Sorry you didn't get to pick her out. But you do get to pick out a name. Emma and I just got the one we thought you would like. Mallory told me you were a bit blue today, I hope this helps a little. Tomorrow you and I will go and do something, anything. Just figure out what you want to do."

"Thank you, Daddy! I love you! She is so cute and she likes to cuddle. Does she have food, litter and a pan?" Mike nodded at her, it was good to see Hannah so happy. She had been pretty subdued since her fall and he could see why she would be depressed. If he had to deal with half of what Hannah, or Emma had to deal with, he would have been catatonic.

Thankfully Molly and the kitten got along wonderfully. The kitten had white on her feet that looked like socks, and so the name, Socks, stuck. Hannah was in love with the tiny kitten and seemed to have brightened up. Mike was a bit worried about the effect that pet hair would have on her lungs but he decided to overlook it unless it become dangerous, Hannah was happy and at the moment that's what mattered.

The rest of the day was spent with the girls playing with Molly and Socks. They fortunately played well together and the girls were laughing, not something either had done much the last two weeks. Mallory had gone out to dinner with a friend of hers from the hospital. Hannah was still undecided on what she wanted to the next day, but mentioned something about going to the mall, which Mike tried to seem enthused about.

Mallory had napped off and on all afternoon and when she finally got up, Mike let her know that he was going to be doing some of the self defense lessons and had everthing set up in the garage. He told the girls that they would be in the garage if they needed him and left the door open between the laundry room and garage so Mallory didn't feel threatened. She had followed him out looking a little sheepish. She was wearing her workout clothes and tennis shoes but looked at him oddly when he told her to take her shoes off.

"Okay, so you will still have some lessons with Kara and Sasha, but they think and I agree that you need to learn how to fight a man. There are classes you can sign up for but you won't know the instructor and you tend to shrink back when someone, especially a man, touches you. As we do this, I am going to be touching you, but it will be for you to learn how to use my own strength against me. I mean absolutely nothing by it when I do touch you, and I will not hurt you in anyway. I will not be fighting back in anyway, but I want you to picture Bradly when you punch me. I'm serious, Mallory, I will not hurt you."

She nodded and he had her show him what Sasha and Kara had already taught her, she had a good basis and had taken some restraint classes due to nursing school. The next two hours, Mallory punched and kicked. Mike could feel a lot of aggression and when he started blocking the punches and kicks, she got frustrated. The one thing that he hadn't worked on was taking her by surprise by grabbing her from behind. When he did grab her around the neck from behind, she instantly started fighting him, throwing her weight against his and grabbing his wrist and throwing it over her head, spinning herself around and punching him in the stomach and bringing her knee up to by his groin, all while keeping ahold of his arm. It was exactly the move that he wanted her to know but when he looked up at her she had a look of complete terror on her face.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you…please don't hurt me too badly."

"I told you to, I am not going to hurt you or hit you. I had to take you by surprise, so what you just did was pure instinct to protect yourself, and you did very well. Let's stop for today, you and I have both had enough. But you did not hurt me, and I will not retaliate."

She nodded and walked out of the garage. He put the gear away, and headed back into the house. The girls were still in the living room playing with Molly and Socks and barely acknowledged him. He could hear the shower running upstairs and while he needed to go up and take his shower, he wanted to give Mallory some distance. He started dinner and she came back down and started to help him.

"I didn't think you would hit me, I don't know what it is, if I did fight back, I regretted it later, if you know what I am talking about. He was rough in every aspect. I guess I just don't know how to be treated well. No one has ever been so good to me, as what you and the girls are. I keep expecting the other shoe to drop."

Mike touched her hand and in a low voice so the girls wouldn't hear exactly what was said, "You deserve to be treated well, it has been so ingrained in you that you are doing something wrong, defending yourself, that it will take some time for you to believe you are worthy to be cared for, loved, appreciated, and part of a family. You have that here. You did exactly what I wanted you to do and you didn't hurt me, if you're wondering. My girls look up to you, and I want them to know that they can choose how they are treated. I am letting you make the choice, you decide if I teach anymore of your self defense lessons."

She nodded at him. He ran up to take a fast shower while she finished up supper. The rest of the night was spent with them playing with the girls and their respective pets. Hannah was so happy with Socks. If Mike had realized how much getting her a kitten would help, he would have done it much sooner. It gave him a glimpse of what Hannah was like before the plague.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

The next day, Hannah was having a decent enough day and so her and Mike had their day out. He did pack her wheelchair and oxygen tank with them in the truck just in case, it seemed that Hannah was set on going to the mall and he wanted to know he had them close if they were needed. He was excited about doing something fun with Hannah, although the mall was not his definition of fun. She wouldn't tell him what she wanted at the mall, he knew she was getting tired of being in sweats and sweatshirts all the time and Mallory had told them it might not hurt to get her an outfit and get her hair cut.

Kara had cut the split ends off both of the girl's hair but there was not any particular style. When Mike suggested getting her hair cut and shaped up a bit, Hannah seemed genuinely excited. They ended up cutting about two inches off her long brunette hair. She wanted to keep it long.

After they got done getting her haircut, she admitted wanting real clothes and so they picked out jeans and a sweater and a new pair of converses along with a couple other things. She asked to go ahead and change at the mall and so Mike stood in the hallway waiting for her. She mentioned before going in that it would be good to not look sick. There was a lady sitting on the bench next to Mike waiting on her husband that was in the bathroom.

"Your daughter is a beautiful young girl. She's about twelve, right? That is how old our Alex would be. You're so lucky that you still have her. Alex was our only child and she died from the Red Flu."

Mike just nodded at her, thanked her and apologized for her loss. He didn't want to get in a long conversation with anyone, or to tell her Hannah was fourteen, but was sick. Fortunately Hannah came out about then, and looked amazing. Mike had realized slowly, he was getting back some of the daughter he had left when he went to the Arctic. The clothes hid the horrible scarring, and with the exception of her being so thin and pale, you wouldn't know anything was wrong. Despite all that he had lost, Mike knew he was blessed beyond measure.

Hannah wanted to eat at one of the places in the food court and choose one of the newly reopened Chinese places. He had handed her the money she would need and got his own food. He got sit down before she did, and glanced over to where she was standing. There were two teenage boys, probably about her age eyeing her. They were both completely moonstruck until they noticed Mike watching them. He had not realized it but his ball cap was from his command on the Nathan James and had the insignia on it. They both sort of backed away, and thankfully Hannah was completely oblivious to what was going on. Mike thought both his girls were the most beautiful people in the world, aside from their mother when she was alive, but would prefer about twenty years to pass before other men noticed them. He had just found an advantage to serving on the Nathan James, scaring unsuspecting teenage punks away from his daughter, he would definitely passing it along to Tom, who had been complaining of the same issue when he took Ashley out, and the good thing was Mike never had to say a word, just gave them a "look" and they ran off like scared little chickens.

Hannah was wearing down but Mike choose not to mention it until it become absolutely necessary. They were both having a lot of fun. Hannah mentioned she didn't have a winter hat, gloves or a scarf, she was still wearing the coat that Kara had given her at the hospital. Mike hadn't realized that she didn't have any of that stuff, mostly because they had tried to keep her out of the cold. It made him feel horrible but she was just happy to get to pick her own out.

Hannah finally decided to head home and while Mike was still not a fan of the mall, he had enjoyed his day with her. He would have much rather went swimming or to play basketball but it was still a good day. Hannah had managed to talk Mike into getting her ears pierced, and at first he objected, but than she used the "I'll get to wear Mom's earrings" line and so he gave in. She sort of had him wrapped.

When they got home, Hannah took all of her new clothes to her bedroom and stayed up there. Mike had gone in and checked on her thinking she was upset but she had fallen asleep on her bed. He covered her up with a blanket, turned the baby monitor on and went on about his business. Socks had curled up next to her.

Mallory had gone out for supper with some friends from the hospital, and so it was just him and Emma until Hannah woke back up. He needed to get some paperwork done before his and Hannah's surgery on Monday but he ended up playing with Emma and the puppy. He had put one of the casseroles that someone from the crew had left for them and built a fire in the fireplace. It was chilly outside and he wanted both girls to be comfortable.

Hannah and Socks came down for dinner and it was kind of a free for all. Molly had decided she liked human food better than dog food, and Emma was all to happy to indulge her, with Hannah helping out. Socks ended up sitting on Hannah's lap throughout the entire dinner. Both girls seemed a bit nervous about the surgery on Monday, not so much for Hannah but for Mike. They voiced concerns about something happening to Mike while he was under and what would happen to them. Hannah still mentioned that if Mike didn't want to go through with it that she would be okay. He knew he was going to have to sit them both down and talk to them.

"Girls, I will be fine. It's a routine procedure, Dr. Wilson is an expert at them, and Doc Rios is going to be in with Hannah. Nothing is going to happen. I will be home that night. Hannah, I've explained to you my reasoning and I still stand by that. You deserve to not have to explain that scar to everyone who asks. I have only one concern about the surgery and that is Hannah. I know you are scared that if something does happen to me, you'll end up back out on the street. I already have it set up, Uncle Tom will take care of the two of you. He and I have talked at length about it, he knows my wishes and will respect them. Now, I love the both of you with all my heart, and I love that you are so worried about me, but I promise I will be okay."

Both girls nodded and Mike hugged them both. He knew that both girls would still worry and stress about him but he hoped at least they understood that they would be cared for regardless. He would have Tom explain to the both of them what his position would be and hopefully that would sooth them a bit. Mallory came in but told him she needed to fill out some applications because she was considering becoming a labor and delivery nurse and so she went up to her room to work on them and nap before work. Both girls asked to sleep in Mike's room that night, and while he wasn't sure why they wanted to, he agreed.

Tom came over Sunday afternoon and assured the girls that he would see to their care if anything happened to Mike but reiterated nothing would happen, because Mike was too stubborn to die. Mallory had explained to them that Dr. Wilson was the best there was in her profession and that Mike and Hannah would be fine. The plan was, Tom, Mallory Mike and Hannah would go to the hospital for the early surgery time, and Emma, who was staying the night at Tom's and Sasha's would follow a little later in the morning with Sasha. Mike didn't like the fact that he would not see her that morning before the surgery but it was a better option than waking her up at oh-dark-thirty. Mike promised that he would take her over after supper and tuck her in at Tom and Sasha's.

Supper was a quiet affair and Mallory was tired so she said she would be going to bed early to be prepared for the long week ahead. Hannah also planned to go to sleep early, and while her and Mike did do their traditional hug and kiss, she wanted him to concentrate on Emma.

He took Emma, Molly, a bag of clothes and her book over about eight. They visited for a bit and then Mike took her in the spare bedroom and got her settled. He read to her and held her until she fell asleep. She wasn't overly talkative but they did exchange "I love you's" and Mike assured her again he would be fine and that he would see her after the surgery the next day. He suspected she was going to have a rough night and told Tom that much. They promised that they would check her throughout the night, and Mike thanked both of them profusely for everything that they done for him. He was thankful to have them as friends and he knew that if the worst happened, his girls would be loved. That meant more to him than anything else.


	44. Chapter 44

**The next couple chapters are going to be a bit on the odd side and there will be a lot of religious talk, and it may not be in everyone's belief systems, but please enjoy and review! I will be uploading the next couple chapters tomorrow and that will be the end of this storyline. I go on vacation Tuesday and want it to be tied up by then. Please, please review!**

 **Chapter 44**

Mike's surgery would begin at five am and Hannah's would start while Mike was still in recovery. Mike didn't particularly care for the idea that he wouldn't be seeing Hannah immediately before the surgery but there wasn't much he could do about it. They had him prepped for surgery, and while Tom cracked several jokes about seeing Mike's backside because of the ill-fitting hospital gown, he assured Mike he would see to it that Hannah was taken care of.

Tom and Mallory gave them as much privacy as they could, and Mike told Hannah he would be fine. She was really worried about him. They hugged and kissed, exchanged "I love you's" and Mike was wheeled away. Rios had finagled around to where he would be in both surgeries, just to try and make Hannah feel better.

As they were getting ready to start the IV, the nurse started to mention the scar on Mike's forearm where Takehaya's people had carved Mike's blood type into his arm. Rios had shot her a warning look and she dropped it. Rios knew that Mike preferred not to talk about their time as Prisoners of War and so he took over and got the IV started. Mike had, had several surgeries and so he knew the drill. They put the mask on and he drifted into oblivion.

 _The dream was so surreal; he was sitting on a bench in a park with a Little League baseball diamond. It was bright and sunny with a little bit of a breeze. He could see several boys, about six years old playing catch and roughhousing. He started to get up but it was like he was glued to the bench. Lucas appeared out of nowhere wearing his baseball uniform, and sit down next to Mike on the bench._

 _"Lucas, oh my God, it's you. I missed you so much. Is this heaven, did I die? Where is your mom? I want to see her too."_

 _"You can't see Mom, she isn't here. You've let her go. Now you have to let me go. I don't want to stay here; I want to go where Mom is, and its lonely here. Please just let me go."_

 _"I don't want to. It will hurt too much. I want to stay here with you…"_

 _"You can't, the girls need you, and Uncle Tom needs you. You still have stuff to do. My job on Earth was done, Mom's was done too. My only job now is to remind you that you were always a good dad. You think you weren't that good to me or the girls but you were great. I know you loved me, but it's time to let that go. If you stay here, Hannah and Emma will be so sad, and Hannah will just get sicker. Uncle Tom will be sadder then when he was when Tex died, and he won't be able to take care of Hannah and Emma, let alone Sam and Ashley. Besides Mason, Cruz and Tex is there with Mom. So are Nana and Papa and Dr. Scott. She is really nice but she talks funny, and Tex told me he would play catch with me until you got there, but I can't do that from here. You have to let me go, or I am going to be stuck here, and this isn't where I want to be. I want to be with Mom."_

"Dr. Wilson, his pulse is dropping rapidly, and his blood pressure is plummeting. We're losing him." Rios told her, he couldn't understand it, Mike was strong, he was healthy, and there was no reason why they would be losing him. If he did die, it would be up to Rios to tell Hannah and Tom, and that was not a job he was looking forward to.

"There is something in his subconscious holding him back. You have to talk to him, he knows your voice, and he needs to hear a familiar voice."

So Rios started talking to him, reminding him of his girls, the crew, Tom, Sasha, all the people that depended on him.

" _Daddy, you have to get up now, it's time to walk away. And you can't look back at me. I will be fine. Mom and I will be waiting for you, but you have to leave me. I love you but you have to go._

 _Mike had felt like he was glued to the bench earlier but now he felt like he had hot coals under him, so he jumped up. He wasn't sure what was propelling him forward but he just kept walking._

"Okay, he's coming back, pulse and blood pressure is back to normal." Rios was relieved. He was dreading the thought of having to tell Hannah that her beloved dad had died. They finished the procedure and luckily didn't have to take any skin off his calf. There was an area about ten inches long and three to four inches wide on his back that had been grafted. It would be incredibly painful but he would recover.

Hannah was wheeled in as he was being wheeled out, so she got to see him for a minute in the hallway. He was pretty out of it, but it helped her to know that he was okay. They wheeled him into a semi private room that Hannah would also be using for her recovery. Tom and Mallory waited in the room with Mike. Tom picked up on the fact that Mike seemed agitated when he did come to, and had asked where Lucas was several times. Tom didn't have the heart to remind that Lucas had died.

He settled down a little when Hannah was wheeled in. She had come through her surgery extremely well, and her vitals were perfect. She was up and walking around in no time and finally sit down on the bed next to Mike to try and calm him, she couldn't tell if the agitation was out of pain or something else. Rios pulled Tom aside and told him, quietly, so Hannah wouldn't hear, that they had almost lost him on the table.

As well as Hannah was doing, she was a little sluggish and ended up leaning her head up against Mike's shoulder and falling asleep. The hospital bed was a little small for the two of them but Tom didn't have it in him to make her move and it seemed to have helped Mike to have her so close. His pain level was high, but manageable.

Once Hannah woke up again, she and Mallory went to the cafeteria to get something to eat, leaving Tom to help Mike get ready to be discharged. Tom knew Mike seemed a little off, but thought it was to do with pain.

"What's going on, buddy? Pain or something else?"

Mike had looked off towards the window and Tom could see the tears forming in his eyes. Tom had suspected it had something to do Lucas so he reached up and squeezed his shoulder.

"I dreamed I saw Lucas, he made me let him go. I didn't want to. It hurts. I wanted to stay there with him, but I also wanted to come back to my girls. I have never felt so torn…"

Tom didn't know what to say. He had thought Mike had let Lucas go after reading Hannah's letter, and when he went through Lucas' box, but apparently he still had been holding onto something.

"I don't know what to say, Mike, other than I'm glad you came back. I can't imagine the physical and emotional pain you're in but those girls need you, a lot of people do. I have no good advice for you; this is more in Russ' wheelhouse. All I can do is offer you my support, my friendship; you are so loved by so many people that need you in their lives. A lot of people give me or Rachel all the credit for delivering the cure, but if the truth were known, it was on you. I would have not been able to do everything I did. It came at a huge cost to you, and it will impact the rest of your life."

Mike nodded and then told him something that gave Tom some peace that he didn't have before, "Lucas mentioned that Tex and Rachel were there too, and Tex and he were going to play ball until I got there."

Hannah and Mallory walked in about then and so they let the conversation drop. Mallory checked Mike's dressing and she and the discharge nurse took his IV out. They had gotten Hannah and his prescriptions, and Tom went and got the truck. Mike was pretty quiet and they could tell he was in pain, but wanted to go home.

The ride home was rough. Both Mike and Hannah were in the backseat and somehow Mike ended up lying across the seat with his head on Hannah's lap and fell back asleep. Tom had texted Danny that he might need some help getting Mike settled and was met by not only Danny, but Russ, Burke and Wolf. They decided to just seat him in Hannah's wheelchair and bring him up the outside steps and then if they needed to they would carry him upstairs to his room.

Mike was settled into his bed and Mallory administered some oral painkillers. Normally he would have refused them but he was pretty subdued. Hannah was still pretty tired and ended up lying down next to Mike, and falling asleep. Emma had also came in with Sasha and laid down on Mike's other side. When Mike woke up so agitated, Tom had Sasha stay home with Emma because he didn't want her to get scared. Somehow Socks and Molly ended up on the bed too.

Tom had pulled Russ aside and told him a little about Mike's dream. Russ said he would make a point to come by a little later in the week and talk to Mike. The house had cleared out other than Tom and Mallory, the girls and Mike were upstairs. Tom told her a little about Mike's dream because she would probably be the one to have to deal with the fallout. He told her he would check back in a couple more times and to call if she needed anything at all. Mike could be a bit of a bear when he was in pain, and the last thing Tom wanted was for Mallory to get scared. He knew Mike wouldn't hurt her but Mallory startled easily sometimes.

Mike had woke up and realized that he had a puppy lying on his stomach and the kitten was between him and Hannah. He could hear Emma softly snoring next to him and Hannah was breathing well. He wasn't quite sure why they were sleeping in his bed, but he wasn't going to disturb them. The pain was every bit as bad as he had been warned of but it was such a small price to pay.

Mallory came upstairs with the food tray and three bowls of Bacon's chicken soup. She intended having to wake them up, but Mike was already awake, just looking around. She waited while he lifted the sleeping puppy off his stomach and woke both girls up. Emma gave Mike a big kiss and hug because she hadn't seen him conscious since the night before and Hannah was still a bit sluggish and so lunch was a pretty calm affair.

The girls decided to go downstairs and pick out a movie, and take Molly outside while Mallory checked Mike's dressing, took his vitals and assisted him to the bathroom. He mentioned going downstairs but she objected and he didn't have the energy to argue with her. He hadn't realized how run down he would feel after the surgery and ended up leaning on her on the way back to bed. She was tiny compared to him and he hated putting his weight on her, but he did notice she didn't flinch away from him. She offered to keep Hannah and Emma downstairs but he wanted them close. He needed them to be close and they were happy to oblidge him. Mallory felt a little bit of an intruder but somehow Emma had decided that she needed to stay upstairs with them and watch the movie and she had conveniently moved to Hannah's other side so Mallory ended up next to Mike in the bed. Mallory had to wonder if it one of Emma's matchmaking schemes but decided not to comment on it.

Before any of them realized it, they were all asleep. Mike's arm was around both girls, and somehow Mallory had ended up falling asleep with her head on his chest and his other arm around her. Socks was asleep at the end of the bed and Molly was between Hannah and Emma. When Tom and Sasha came in to check on Mike, they were a bit surprised that no one was downstairs but could hear Mike's bedroom tv. When they got to the top of the steps and saw them all sleeping like that, they both decided to just leave. Mike was clearly okay, Hannah seemed to be breathing normally, and Mallory didn't seem scared at all.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Mike woke up and realized that Hannah and Mallory both had their heads on his chest, and he had his arms around them both. He didn't want to wake them but he had to resituate himself. Emma woke up and shook Hannah awake and Mike moving around woke Mallory up. Both girls had gotten up and Mallory was already leaning Mike forward to check his back. Hannah and Emma went downstairs to take Molly outside and get Mike a drink of water.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep on you, it was inappropriate…"

"Don't worry about it, I didn't mind. Just hated waking you up. Besides, Hannah was also asleep on me too."

She nodded at him but he could tell she wasn't convinced, it really hadn't bothered him, it had actually felt good. The girls came back in and Mallory decided to look at Hannah's dressing, so Mike would be able to see the area around the scar. He was shocked at how good it already looked. There was some discoloration but Mallory said it would blend in with a couple days. Hannah assured him there was not any pain. Mike didn't want her to see the wound on his back and Mallory agreed with him. Dr. Wilson had told him he would have a scar but Mike didn't care.

The girls had picked out a couple movies to watch with Mike, and Mallory had fixed another round of soup and grilled cheeses and their night consisted of watching movies and cuddling. Mallory had ended up on the opposite side of the bed from Mike, and she seemed a little worried about something. His pain level was pretty substantial but he refused to let the girls know he was hurting.

Tom had come in and checked on him and Hannah, and volunteered to take the girls if Mike needed some rest without the noise, but Mike told him he wanted them close. Tom wasn't sure if it had something to do with the dream Mike had or just wanting them close by. He had already decided not to bring it up unless Mike did and choose not to say anything about finding Mallory asleep on Mike's chest. Tom knew nothing more than that had happened, the girls were right there and Mike was not in any condition to take anything any further.

Mike was having trouble getting to sleep and Mallory finally insisted on giving him a painkiller. The girls were getting ready for bed and had decided they would try and sleep in their own beds but would check on Mike. They both gave him a kiss and a hug good night. He could tell Hannah especially was a little more concerned but promised him she would at least try and sleep. He was feeling a bit smothered but he knew it was being done in love.

Mike was a little worried that when he did go to sleep, he would dream about Lucas. He didn't know if he could go through that again. He felt a strange peace. He knew he would always miss Lucas, and would still have bad days but he knew his baby boy was at peace, was close to his mom and so many other people that had been lost along the way. Mike had thought he had let Lucas go when he wrote the letter and gone through the box but apparently he hadn't.

Mallory came in to take his vitals and to instruct him to stop fighting the sleep he needed and to holler if he needed her. There was something amiss with her but Mike really didn't have the energy to ask. She helped get him to the bathroom and then get settled. She promised to check on Hannah and Emma before she laid down and reiterated to holler for help if he needed it. She was concerned about him trying to use the bathroom with no assistance going to or from the bed. She knew he was stubborn and would try and do it himself but he was very unsteady.

Mike actually slept soundly until about eight am, he had figured out that sleeping on his side was easier and took the pressure off his back. He heard the girls and Mallory talking downstairs but choose to stay in bed until one of them come up simply because Mallory had been adamant that he not try the stairs by himself and he was kind of figuring that she had a bit of a temper.

Emma and Molly came upstairs and when Emma realized Mike was awake, came in and climbed up in bed with him and gave him a big hug. Mike felt bad because his hugs were a little weaker than normal but Emma didn't seem to mind in the least. She hopped off the bed and promised to get Mallory and put Molly on the bed with him. Socks had stayed at the end of his bed all night but Emma took her back down to Hannah.

"Hey, how are you feeling? You didn't holler through the night, or did I not hear you?" Mallory came in with his breakfast tray which Molly was all too interested in, thankfully Hannah followed her in and grabbed Molly off the bed and leaned down and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek and assured him she felt okay and left.

"I'm okay, a little sore, I slept on my side and I think it helped. I didn't wake up until just a couple minutes ago, so don't worry about not hearing me." Mallory helped Mike sit up and checked his dressing while she had him in that position. She situated the breakfast tray and gave him some antibiotics.

"We need to stay ahead of the pain, but you may want to clean up a bit before you take a painkiller. I don't want you getting lightheaded in the shower, and pass out like Hannah did…definitely don't want to relive that experience."

"Please tell me I can shower myself? I like you and all, but that might give Emma all kinds of ideas and her imagination has been pretty wild..."

Mallory smiled and shook her head, "Most men wouldn't argue with a woman helping them shower? But no, I'll stay close by but I think you can handle the actual shower part. Listen, about yesterday, I still feel horrible about falling asleep on you like that. It was inappropriate on my part. You have been nothing but a perfect gentlemen and you have done more for me than anyone has ever done for me, and you have no expectations. I know you aren't ready for any sort of a relationship, and maybe I've read into the kindness you've shown me, it's not like I would ever stand a chance with someone like you…"

She was sitting on the bed, facing him within arms reach, and so Mike very gently pulled her towards him and kissed her. It surprised him how receptive she was and he would have liked it be longer and deeper but his back started cramping up. He pulled away, and very quietly whispered to her, "You stand a huge chance with me. Don't think you don't, I just didn't want to scare you."

They didn't get a chance to say anything more after that because Emma bounced in and Mike's back was cramping up, Mallory eased a pillow behind him and sit the tray back over his lap while Emma was showing Mike her math problems that she had answered. Part of her wanted to kiss him again but he might not like that too much, especially in front of his young daughter. Mallory knew Emma had been trying to play matchmaker but the last thing in the world she wanted to do was upset either of the girls. She had never been kissed so gently, it sort of surprised her because Mike was not that gentle of a person. Mike was concentrating on Emma and she could also tell his back was bothering him, his forehead was creased up, much the same way Hannah's did when she was in pain. She asked if he wanted the painkillers now and to wait on the shower, and he shook his head no.

Emma had seen her daddy kissing Mallory when she was walking up the steps, and she thought about just leaving them alone but her daddy tended to screw things up sometimes and she didn't want him to mess it up with Mallory. She couldn't wait for Uncle Tom to come over so she could tell him, both her daddy and Mallory looked so happy. Maybe they would get their acts together and get married now.

Mike wasn't sure why he had kissed her but was just afraid that it had screwed everything up. He had accepted that Christine was gone, and she would want him to move on, but he knew Mallory was not ready so he had decided to just help instill the confidence in her that she would need and be patient. He thought it was important that she have that confidence because she needed to feel comfortable voicing her own opinions and desires. He didn't have the heart to tell Emma to give them a moment, because he didn't want to hurt her. He had already hurt Emma enough and he couldn't do it again so he just focused on her.

Emma finally left him after getting plenty of hugs and kisses in. She was going to go downstairs and work on her math and she would bring him the end result to check over. Mallory came in to take his bandages off so he could shower properly and reiterated that she would be close by and to yell if he needed help. As he stood up, he pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek.

"I hope I didn't scare you earlier. Now you know I how I feel. I'm falling in love with you. I know it seems so soon since I found out about Christine's death and I want you to take some time, so you can figure out how you want to be treated. If you don't want this to go any further than it won't, but if you do, I want you to know that you will be loved and adored by both me and the girls. You will never have to worry about me withholding food, using sex as a punishment or beating on you. But I do want you to take your time, okay?"

She nodded at him and gave him another kiss, but pulled away all too quickly for Mike's liking. His back was really bothering him and he knew he was needing to get showered and back in bed.

"I think I feel the same way, but I do think I want to take some time, figure things out. I like how we are, it's comfortable, although I am kind of liking the kissing, not sure if I'm ready for everything else just yet. Plus the girls might need some time to get use to it. I hope that doesn't make you mad?"

He shook his head and they kissed again. They agreed he needed to shower because he was losing steam very quickly, he wasn't sure if he would even be able to stand and shave. She stayed close by while he showered and once he was done, she suggested he used the girl's make up and hair area to shave. He hadn't thought about it, but it worked so much better.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

It took a little longer to get Mike settled than what Mallory figured it would, mostly because of the kissing. They both knew he wasn't capable of going any further and it was so sweet and gentle, and there was plenty of laughter. He had taken his painkillers without much argument before trying to shave himself, and ended up cutting his chin before Mallory finally took the razor out of his hand.

Tom decided to run over and check on Mike before a lunch meeting. The President would want to know that Mike was okay. Hannah had gone upstairs and so Emma was the only one downstairs, and when he came in she was sitting at the kitchen table working on her math work. She gestured at him to come over and sit down and he figured she was needing help but she had a huge grin on her face.

"Guess what I saw, Uncle Tom?"

"What did you see Em, and where is everyone?"

"I saw Daddy and Mallory kissing…maybe they'll finally get married now! They looked so happy. She's up there helping him take a shower. I think Hannah is up there too, but she isn't helping with the shower. Does three times eight equal twenty four?"

Tom couldn't help but laugh, he gently explained to her that just because her daddy and Mallory were kissing, that didn't mean that they would get married, that she probably shouldn't have been spying on them, and answered her math problem. She let him know that the door was open and she just happened to have come up the stairs, and of course people that kissed got married and it meant that they would be having a baby. Tom was not prepared to give a nine year old a speech of how babies were made, so he excused himself to go upstairs. It seemed like a good conversation for Mike to have with Emma.

Mike was back in the bed by the time Tom got up there and Mallory was cleaning the bathroom up. He could tell Mike was pretty drowsy and choose not to tell him about Emma's observations. He did quietly ask Mike if he was okay since the dream about Lucas, and Mike just nodded, he knew Mike was having trouble talking about it, because he felt badly about letting Lucas go. Tom didn't want to imagine the emotional pain that Mike was in. It was not something that Tom could have done. He just hoped that whatever was developing with Mallory would sooth the pain that Mike was in.

"Can you do me a favor? I've tried to get ahold of Father Matthew or Sister Grace to let them know that Hannah came through the surgery okay and I haven't been able to. It's kind of strange because they have been so concerned about her. Could you go down to the church and check and make sure everything is okay? I know you don't really want to go there but it's worrying me. Just whenever it's convenient for you. I really appreciate it if you would…"

Tom assured him that he would, it was not something he really wanted to do, but it meant a lot to Mike. It would take him all of about ten minutes anyway. Mike was pretty out of it and was already falling asleep, and so Tom told him he would check on his way home from work and to get some rest.

Mike slept most of the rest of the day. He hated that he was not that attentive to either of his girls or Mallory but he was in a lot of pain. He was just glad it was him and not Hannah. She was acting like nothing had happened to her the day before, and her wound was healing up perfectly. It did distress her to see Mike hurting so badly. He tried to act like he wasn't hurting but Hannah was wise to it. He woke up at one point and there was a note from her on his nightstand. Once he got settled back on his back, he read it.

" _Daddy,_

 _I am so sorry you are hurting so badly. If I ever doubted how much you loved Emma and I (I never did), yesterday proved just how deeply you love us. It's hard to see you in such pain, and I know you're trying to cover it up so it doesn't scare either of us, so it must be pretty bad._

 _What you did for me was so special, and you don't know how much I appreciate it._

 _I love you,_

 _Hannah"_

Mike had tears rolling, as badly as he was hurting, he would go through it a thousand times over for either one of the girls, just so they wouldn't feel pain, or rejection because of scars. It seemed stupid to a lot of people but he really didn't want Hannah to have to relive what had happened to her every time someone asked about the scars. He couldn't cover up the burn marks on her legs, feet or underarms but they would slowly fade, the one on her back wouldn't have ever faded and so as far as Mike was concerned a bit of pain was a small price to pay.

The girls came in with his late lunch and he hugged and kissed both of them, and thanked Hannah for the letter. They visited with him for a while he was eating and helped him get settled back into a more comfortable sleeping position. They had also been asking about Father Matthew and Sister Grace and Mike assured them Tom was going to go check on his way home from work. Emma ended up falling asleep and he told Hannah to just leave her when she started to wake her up. He was able to get rolled onto his other side and pulled her close and fell asleep. He was going to miss it when she went back to school.

Mallory had checked on the two of them and had covered Emma up with a blanket. Mike had roused slightly but fell back to sleep quickly. If anybody had asked her a month before if she thought she could ever find the happiness and love that she had found with Mike and his girls, she would have laughed at them. But it made perfect sense. She was glad he was so patient about giving her the time she needed. She knew he would never hurt her like Bradly had hurt her. She wasn't sure she would know how to be treated so well. She bent over and kissed them both on the cheek; she did need to run to the grocery store and left Mike a note on his nightstand.

" _Mike,_

 _You and Emma were asleep and so Hannah and I are running to the grocery store. Don't try and go downstairs before I get home._

 _I love you,_

 _Mallory"_

Mike finally woke up about three and gently woke Emma up. He had read Mallory's note and smiled at the sign off. Molly and Socks were at the end of his bed and Emma, while awake, was still drowsy and had octopus'd herself around him. He heard Hannah and Mallory come in and hollered at them to come upstairs. He was going to need some help detaching himself from Emma so he could use the bedroom. He had also decided he was not going to hide anything from the girls where he and Mallory were concerned. They deserved to know, and he knew they wouldn't be upset.

Mallory came in and strode to his side of the bed, she leaned down and he pulled her into a kiss. Emma was slightly awake and when she noticed them kissing immediately started smiling and was shaking with excitement.

"Mallory, does this mean when you and Daddy get married, I can be your flower girl? Hannah is too old!"

Mallory sit down next to Mike and they both started tickling Emma, they weren't ready for wedding talk and told her that much. At some point, Hannah had come in and sit down next to Emma. She had already guessed that things had progressed between Mike and Mallory and was thrilled. She loved Mallory and loved seeing her dad so happy.

Mallory helped Mike down the stairs and settled him into the recliner while she and Hannah fixed supper. Hannah had clued her in that Mike's favorite meal was roast beef which had been a crockpot all day, mashed potatoes and cream corn and so that was what supper would be, along with rolls and cranberry sauce. Hannah had sweet talked Mallory into making a pumpkin cheesecake for dessert, which was her favorite. Her theory was that Mike wouldn't mind it either.

Emma had curled next to Mike in the recliner and they were going over her math problems. Kara and Frankie had come over to check on Mike and to bring a breakfast casserole. Kara told them it was all she knew how to cook, which Mike called her on. He had, had several meals at their house and knew better. Tom had told her discreetly that Mike's vitals had plummeted during the surgery and about the dream he had. She wanted to see for herself that he was okay. Danny and she had been discussing it, and decided that they were going to name Mike as Frankie's godfather. Once Mike got to feeling better they had planned on asking. Both of them had grown to respect and admire Mike in a different way, watching him parent Hannah and Emma, and all that he was doing for Mallory. Their first impression of him had not been a good one but he had also changed. She just hoped he would accept them wanting him to be Frankie's godfather.

After Kara left, they ate dinner. It was delicious and Mike had seconds on everything, including the pumpkin cheesecake which just proved Hannah's point. They discussed the upcoming Thanksgiving dinner and decided that they were going to invite several people over which meant Mallory would spend most of the next day cooking since Mike was having trouble even standing for any period of time.

Mike was a little shocked that Tom hadn't called or come by with what he had found out at the church but since he was hurting so bad he ended up just going to sleep in the recliner. Mallory and the girls were upstairs getting ready for bed and Mike was having trouble with the prospect of getting up the steps and he didn't particularly want to lean on Mallory all the time so he stayed there for the time being.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

Tom and Russ were walking in the neighborhood where Tom had found Hannah and Emma. Russ had insisted on coming along, it wasn't all that safe of an area and it was shocking that the two girls had survived there for months. They found the church and it was boarded up and run down. Two weeks before it looked like a normal inner-city church. But what worried both of them was the fact that no one was around.

They were walking down the same street that Tom had found the girls on, and there were no lights on in the church but the side door that Father Matthew had come out of that night was ajar. It was spooky but they agreed that the church should be checked and cleared. Both had their handguns with them and so they quietly entered the church. They quickly cleared it and there was no one around. Tom sat down on the same pew that he had laid Hannah down on just a couple weeks earlier. He was completely confused.

Russ was beginning to wonder if there was something God-sent about Father Matthew and Sister Grace, when he looked down at the altar and saw two letters, one addressed to Mike and one to Tom. He handed Tom's to him and told him he would go to a nearby diner and order them some coffee. He wanted to give Tom some privacy and to also ask around about Father Matthew and Sister Grace. His wife had always quoted a verse out of Hebrews about entertaining strangers because they might be angels. He was beginning to wonder if that wasn't the case.

Tom was completely taken aback by the church and the lack of life in it. How was he going to explain this to Mike and his girls? Russ had given him a letter that he had found on the altar, and pocketed Mike's.

" _Tom,_

 _You had lost your faith in God, and in humanity long before the Red Flu. You lost so many people that you cared about. You watched Mike suffer the loss of his son, and the disappearance of his wife and daughters, and still maintain some faith. You have been an amazing friend to him, and been an advocate and friend to his daughters when they needed you._

 _Sister Grace and I were sent to bring those girls here where they would be found by you. It was all in God's plan. You needed to be the one to find them to restore your faith._

 _You're a doubter. But you are also a soldier and God has a special place for his soldiers like you and Mike._

 _You needed Mike to do everything you had to do during the Red Flu. Had it not been for him, you would have not delivered that cure. The world gives you and Dr. Scott the credit, because they don't realize what Mike has done. He will never ask for the credit he deserves, all he ever wanted was to be a husband and father._

 _You will spend the rest of your life wondering if you actually saw and talked to me, but you most definitely did. We just had a special job and now we are on to our next assignment. You will get to watch those girls grow up and they will be a blessing in your life._

 _Father Matthew_

Tom had no explanation, the logical part of his brain was telling him it was just a fragment of his imagination, but his heart was telling him that Father Matthew and Sister Grace's mission was to get Tom connected with Hannah and Emma and back to Mike where they belonged. He had once had doubt but certainty was taking over. He got up and locked up the church and headed to the diner that Russ was at.

Russ had ordered coffees and explained why they were looking for the occupants of the church and was wondering about Father Matthew and Sister Grace. The waitress looked towards the church and sit down across from him, the diner wasn't busy.

"I don't really know how to explain this, but when the Red Flu hit, Father Matthew and Sister Grace took in the children of victims. One of the kids was infected and they didn't realize it in time. The contracted the Flu and everyone died. That church has been vacant for over a year. They felt it was their mission to connect lost children to their families. Sounds like they succeeded in your friend's case. I remember those girls, I've wondered what had happened to them, but I am so glad that they've been reunited with their father. The younger one, Emma, was so sure he was still alive. I tried to make sure they had food but Hannah was not sure about taking it. If you don't mind, could you ask your friend to bring them by sometime? I would love to see them. Such sweet girls."

Russ told her he would pass everything along to Mike, thanked her, grabbed their coffees and met Tom outside. He told him what the waitress told him and Tom handed him his letter. They were both curious about what Mike's said but felt it would be a huge breach of privacy. It was going to take both of them to explain what they had found out about Father Matthew and Sister Grace to Mike.

When they got to Mike's house they figured Mike was probably in bed however the living room lights were on along with the room that Hannah occupied. Tom and Russ decided to go over and talk to Mike, it needed to be explained as soon as possible.

Thankfully the girls and Mallory were upstairs and Mike was sitting in the recliner and seemed pretty awake and not in a lot of pain. They quietly explained to him what they found out, and Mike didn't seem that shocked. He had begun to wonder about Father Matthew and Sister Grace, ordinarily he would have laughed if someone tried to tell him that someone was an angel he would have laughed but he had seen so many miracles in the last couple weeks that he just choose to believe, it was easier than doubting. He wasn't sure how he would explain it to his girls but he knew that they would need to know. Russ gave him the letter from Father Matthew and they both left, but Russ did tell him he would come by in a couple days to talk about the dream that he had about Lucas and assured him he had a similar one about his daughters and that Mike had done the right thing, even though it had hurt so badly.

" _Mike,_

 _You paint yourself as this horrible husband and father, but the reality is, you are a father after God's own heart. He sacrificed His Son for the sins of the people He loved. You were willing to sacrifice your relationship with your precious little girl, so that she might be happier. You think she hasn't forgiven you, but that little girl has the most amazing heart and she adores her daddy. It was never in God's plan for you to give her up, but it was definitely in His plan for you to ask Emma about it. She needed to know that her happiness was so much more important to you than your own happiness. She has forgiven and for the most part forgotten it. The part she will remember is the fact that it would have destroyed you to do it, but you wanted her to feel happy and loved._

 _What you also did for Hannah has also been in God's plan. You put yourself in horrific pain so that she wouldn't have to relive what had happened to her constantly. It has shown her a depth of love that she didn't even know existed._

 _What you've done for Mallory has also been in His plan, everything she had to go through brought her to you, but you do need to take your time with her. She has been horrifically abused and will need time to accept the more intimate side of your relationship, right up until you get married. You will have to be patient, but you won't mind it. She also had an angel looking out for her, a crusty old Marine who saved the pictures of her kids._

 _You have a special role in this world. Had it not been for your support, Tom and Rachel would have not been able to bring that cure home. Tom realizes it, and in time the world will too, but you never cared about that, all you wanted to was to go home…and you are finally home. Home at Last._

 _Father Matthew"_

Mallory had come downstairs to tell him the girls were getting in bed if he wanted help up the stairs to tuck them in. He nodded and handed her the letter. He felt she should know. She had tears in her eyes and leaned forward and hugged him. They kissed and then she helped him up out of the recliner and up the steps. They had already agreed that they would sleep separately, Mallory was not ready for anything more and Mike was more than willing to wait. Mike decided to talk to both girls privately about Tom and Russ' findings. It was difficult to understand and explain even to an adult, and a fourteen and a nine year old would definitely not comprehend it.

Emma was lying in her bed with Molly at the end. Mike thought about putting the puppy in the dog bed but decided to just not fight it; at least the dog had stopped snarling at him when he walked into the room. He loved that she was so protective of both of his girls. It was a little hard to ease himself down onto the bed but it was worth it. Emma was pretty sleepy and he thought about not telling her but decided to go ahead.

"Uncle Tom and Uncle Russ went and checked for Father Matthew and Sister Grace. Emma, they weren't at the church. Apparently they died when the Red Flu hit and there were some sort of angels sent to bring you and Hannah here to where you would be found. I know this is a little hard to understand but…"

"I knew it! I knew they must have been angels. They seemed to just know too much without me or Hannah telling them. But I didn't tell you because I thought you needed to find out for yourself and Uncle Tom really needed to know it."

Mike was completely confused by her statement but decided to just go with it. He told her loosely about the letter and that it said something about him sacrificing his own happiness so that Emma could be happier, he wasn't sure about it making him a father after God's own heart but he told Emma that he loved her and if her being happy meant he had to sacrifice his own happiness than he would do it, however he was glad it was never going to come down to that. She seemed to completely understand everything he said and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Molly had crept to where she was laying on Emma's other side and had wiggled under the blanket. It didn't take too long for Emma to fall asleep and the wrap herself around the puppy. Mike tucked the blankets around both of them and shut the light off.

He had nearly exactly the same conversation with Hannah and she said the same thing Emma had. Apparently the only ones that were shocked were the adults, although Russ didn't seem all that shocked. Mike hugged and kissed Hannah good night and she did allow him to tuck the blankets around her. Tom had locked the house up as he was leaving so Mike could go on to bed, Mallory met him in the hallway asking how the girls had taken the news, and kissed him goodnight as well and thanked him for being so patient.

Mike managed to get himself in bed with no assistance, he was in a lot of pain but to him it was completely worth it. He had a strange peace about how everything had happened in the last year and a half and hoped that Tom had found his peace too. Mike knew he would always miss Lucas and Christine but they had both gave him permission and in Lucas' case begged him to let them go, and move on with his life. It was an incredible thing to be home finally.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

 _ **Six months later**_

Mike and Mallory had just gotten back from their honeymoon. Mike hated leaving the girls because Hannah's health was still a little precarious so they just traveled a couple hours away and only stayed for three days. It was an incredible time for the two of them, although they had both missed the girls. Mallory and Mike had established the more intimate part of their relationship during their honeymoon and she had learned that she would always be loved and respected.

Hannah had developed some cardiac problems during the early spring, which had put her in the hospital for a week. Mike barely left her side. He had been so scared of losing her, but she seemed to come out of it alright. It would always need to be monitored. Mike and Mallory mentioned pushing back the wedding but Hannah insisted. She was enjoying the planning and it gave her something to look forward to. She hadn't been able to return to school and Rios and her cardiologist suggested she stay at home and get home-schooled. Her immune system was compromised and she only left the house with Mike or Mallory, and occasionally Tom and Sasha.

Emma was doing extremely well in school and was in the spring soccer league. She had turned ten in early March while Mike was in the hospital with Hannah. He hated that he had missed yet another one of her birthdays but once Hannah was released and doing better, Mike made a point to spend a day with Emma. She was still as happy-go-lucky as always and was thrilled about Mike and Mallory being married.

Tom and Sasha had quietly eloped and were expecting a baby boy. Tom still questioned the night that he found Hannah and Emma but it had restored his faith. He had reached nearly the same peace that Mike had.

Danny and Kara had asked Mike and Mallory to be Frankie's godparents and they happily accepted. It was a huge honor for Mike, and Mallory loved the developing friendship that she had with Kara and Sasha. She and Mike still worked on self-defense but Kara and Sasha also helped. By the time they got married, Mallory was incredibly confident and the memories of her past abuse were all but forgotten.

There was a need for doctors, and it was something that Mallory had always wanted to do. Rios suggested her for an accelerated program where she could become a doctor in two to three years since she already had training as a nurse. It would be hard, and she had to quit working as a full-time nurse to do it, but it was something she wanted to do, and Mike and the girls were incredibly encouraging, helping her study.

Mike had gone back to work shortly after the New Year, and it was all very routine. Mallory had classes through the day, but thankfully they had found a tutor for Hannah that they were both confident with, and who could handle Hannah's assorted medical issues and allowed Mike to just be her dad. Mallory handled the medical issues when they come up, but brought Mike into all the decisions. He took Emma to school every morning and Mallory picked her up every afternoon. The evenings were spent studying with lots of laughter and hugs. Mike had been more determined to be more affectionate and loving to his girls, and Hannah saw it sometimes as smothering but she allowed it. Her dad was happy, despite his constant concern for her health.

The wedding had been small but happy. Tom was the best man, Hannah was the maid of honor and Emma was a flower girl. There were some pretty predominant attendees but it was thankfully kept out of the media. The girls stayed with Tom and Sasha while Mike and Mallory were away on their short honeymoon. Mike suggested they not go because Hannah had been out of the hospital for less than a month but she insisted that they go, she wanted them to have some time to themselves, and Emma was still convinced that they were going to be having a baby.

Their wedding night and the following three days had been incredible. Mallory was shocked at how gentle Mike could be. She had been concerned about having flashbacks of what Bradly had done to her, but Mike had been patient, gentle and loving and it had set a pace for them. A lot of people would think it was strange that they waited for their wedding night to have sex but it just seemed so perfect to them and who else cared. Emma had seemed a bit impatient because she was ready for a baby brother but she was going to have to wait longer, as they had decided that they wouldn't actively try for a baby until she was out of medical school. They wouldn't mind a surprise but she wanted to concentrate on her schooling and a baby would stop her.

Mike's career had also taken a huge step forward and had been named the Secretary of the Navy. It required a lot more work hours but fortunately President Oliver understood when Hannah's heart problems come up and made it work when Mike insisted on working from home. Mike had found out that the President's daughter had died due to a congenital heart problem and when Hannah's heart problem crept up on them, it scared him.

Mike still missed Lucas but was at peace where his death was concerned. He had suggested that they take some of Christine and Lucas' pictures down when he and Mallory first started dating, but she insisted they stay up, the girls needed to see them, and they were apart of Mike's life, part of his heart, and they couldn't just pack that away. Mallory was a little more private about losing Liam and Allie, but Mike slowly but surely incorporated their pictures in with Christine and Lucas'. Bradly hadn't loved the twins and Mallory didn't understand how Mike could love two children that were not his own, but also had died, but he did love them just like he still loved Lucas, and how he loved Hannah and Emma. She just wished that Mike had, had the opportunity to meet the twins, just so they would understand what a father's love was like.

Life was good for the Slattery family. There was a constant worry where Hannah was concerned and Mike was always worried that he was pushing Emma to a back burner, but both girls were mostly happy. Molly and Socks were nearly full grown and kept the girls on their toes. Mike was thankful that he had gotten Socks for Hannah. The night that Hannah started having cardiac problems, it was actually Socks that had alerted him. Hannah couldn't sit up and was so short of breath she couldn't call for help, and was in intense pain, but somehow Socks knew something was wrong and jumped off her bed, ran to Mike's bed, laid on his chest and pawed his nose until he woke up. She meowed and then headed to Hannah's room. Mike wasn't sure why he followed the cat but thanked God every day that he had. The cardiologist told him that if he hadn't, Hannah would have died before morning. Mike still prayed every day that he wouldn't outlive either of his girls, he wasn't sure if he would be able to survive losing either one of them.

They had all become regular church goers; Mike felt he owed that much to God for what he had been given back. A lot of people would have thought differently considering how sick Hannah was but Mike refused to think like that. He still had her and Emma and now Mallory, and that was a blessing.

 **There is a high possibility that I will pick up this storyline in a new story, however this is for now. I am sorry if the religious talk insulted anyone, please do review!**


End file.
